2007-02-05 07:43:26 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi. You take a long deep breath, thank God you managed to survive in one piece,
you take a long hard look at yourself & you decide to find out who YOU really are
by REMEMBERING what YOU believe in, what your strengths are, & what your goals in life are.
You put simple messages in places where you'll see them, to remind you that life is good & you can do the things you want to do.
You surround yourself with people when you need other people, & you face the times when you are by yourself with a sigh of relief knowing you can use that time to improve yourself - your skills.
You get a make-over if you need one (ignoring expert advice is you strongly disagree with their taste!)
You read books & articles.
You join classes to improve your assertiveness.
You can hang a photo of your ex on the wall to use as target practice.
You can yell "see I knew I could do that!" when you have a success.
& you can try not to cry in self-pity & anguish when things don't go your way.
Whatever you do, don't accept all the criticisms that came your way over the last 18 years- all the tut-tut comments about how useless you are that made you feel wretched & insecure.
Do yoga - meditate & excercise to get fitter and more self-aware; this will also help to ease your nerves.
SMILE nicely everyday at people!
Make some new friends who make you feel good & appreciate you.
Put a little joyous bounce in your step when you walk, & walk tall!
Be PROUD of YOU & who you are!
GAIN a bit more CONFIDENCE each day.
Take little steps.
& don't be too afraid to start again with a new partner, when YOU want one.
I wish you every success.
All the best.
2007-02-05 08:07:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I just lived 18 years in hell I would be out celebrating that I am no longer with this person. Get a job, get a new house, and go on with your life. Dont look back on the wasted years move ahead and commit yourself to be happy and only get into healthy relationships for now on. Good luck.
2007-02-05 15:48:09 · answer #2 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a complete makeover. If you need to lose weight,do it.change your hairstyle,get rid of old clothes and get some sexy new ones. Buy some sexy underwear. Give the house a makeover. Go on a fantastic holiday. Worked for me and 5 years later I'm now training to be a midwife,something ive always wanted to do but my abusive,controlling ex husband would never allow me to do. I'm now in my 40s and believe me life really does begin at 40. and my children are really proud of me. Life's too short to mope around.ENJOY IT!!!
2007-02-05 16:00:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for the divorce, celebrate being you. You must be quite something to have got this far. Try to build your own life for a year or two. Women have a terrible tendency to repeat their mistakes. One day at a time onwards and upwards. Try and build an extended circle of women friends for mutual support. Good Luck.
2007-02-05 15:58:26 · answer #4 · answered by chewystuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they controlled you for 18 years, the best way to get over it would be by doing what you want, and by living your life the way you want to live it.....your free!!!
2007-02-06 08:22:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You live each day with an awareness of your own control over the details of your life. As you choose what to wear, what to have for breakfast, how to rearrange the furniture, what time to go to bed, make these choices with an eye toward your own well-being and a sense of pride and pleasure in being able to make them yourself.
2007-02-05 16:20:58 · answer #6 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is the control freak You? or your man?
It is only a rebellious heart that fears being "controlled". Glenn Jackson
This is my idea of being controlled ----- You want to control and can't so it must be the other one doing the control.....You are the control freak.
2007-02-05 15:48:01 · answer #7 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 is to avoid simply searching for the next control freak, which is what most people do.
Live alone for a while. Learn to depend on yourself. Only then should you pursue relationships.
2007-02-05 15:47:04 · answer #8 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just go out and do all the things he would not let you do after 18 years i bet there is thousands of things you want to do book yourself a Holiday and let you hair down and let the good times role
2007-02-05 16:12:44 · answer #9 · answered by top cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you thank your lucky stars and get out there and party.....stay away from partners for a wee while though... learn to be yourself again.look back on your relationship and give a huge sigh its over.now live again. good luck. you are very brave and i admire your strength to leave after 18 years xxxxx
2007-02-05 15:58:10 · answer #10 · answered by kazzy3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋