wife problems....?

Question

hubby is a freelance fine-arts artist. the wife also has a career that earns quite a good sum of revenue. the hubby now wants to start using live models for some of the projects, but the wife opposes to this because some of the projects would need partially clothed females and males. the argument is the hubby feels the wife should be supportive of his career and what it entails just as he supports what she does to bring money into the home. her insecurity should not guide his career moves. vice- versa

Answer 1

Coming from a woman who's been married for 10 years...

This is almost like asking your wife if you can rent a call girl or take home that sexy dancer...

Sorry, your wife is right and you are wrong.

However, the exception would be this: Take her with you to these shoots, but honestly even then it'll still be an issue.

It has nothing at all to with with trust, this is called women in competition and where there are women in comeption, the men never stand a chance!

Seriously, how would you feel if she were alone with sexy men, who YOU knew was vulnrable and willing to do almost anything to advance a career, especially in your feild. How would you feel if she was coming in later and later each night and getting call after call....

I know a very wise man in Austin and he is a 60 year old man who is a published author, worked on broadway and has been FAITHFULLY married to his wife for 30 years, they get along so well, yet the moment he starts talking about his media days, she reminds him that the media and the arts are no place to have a family followed with the "eye", yeah you know that evil eye I'm talking about.

Your wife is not insecure, she just is aware of a broken society that encourages infidelity and a soceity that somehow forgot what morals and values are.

Give your wife some slack, she will always be there for you if you show her respect, and this is respect. In no way would you need to shoot projects that involve a half naked person, unless your in the porn industry, which if you were, I doubt the wifey would even have a problem. But your not, so wake up, love your woman, and go make an honest living WITH the support of your wife.

In case you haven't noticed, good women are hard to find these days, so if you have one, you better hang on tight and forget about half naked models. That's not for your career, it's to test her. You know your wrong.

Good Luck and have hope knowing that your work is not sexually based!

Answer 2

What does the wife do for a living? Does it involve her working with partially nude people? The question here is if she was an artist would the husband allow her and be very comfortable with her using partially nude or nude male models? It's easy to say yes when it is one person doing this, however, sometimes when one is on the other side it's not so easy to say yes or agree to such a thing. Perhaps if we knew what the wife does for a living then it would be easier to answer this question or help find a solution.

Answer 3

To some extent I agree that it's your career, so it's your call. HOWEVER, if you really can't come to an agreement on this that makes your wife feel more secure about it - you are married and your marriage should come first. Marriage requires all forms of sacrifice - from both parties. If she can't get to a place where she feels ok with this and if affects her feeling of security in the marriage - you need to really look at this and put your marriage first - hard as it may be. I'm sure in the lifetime of your marriage your wife will have to make hard sacrifices too.

Answer 4

First off, it's not a wife problem, it's a marriage problem, I.E. you both own it.

Second, you have to find a solution that is mutually, enthusiastically embraced. Dr Harley of Marriage Builders calls this the policy of joint agreement or POJA.

Bascially the POJA indicates that you do nothing without enthusiatic agreement from both husband and wife. If she is not enthusiatic about what you are pitching, then ask her to provide what it would take to gain her enthusiasm.

Maybe that would be nude or semi-nude models at your studio when she is there.

Maybe she will never be enthusiastic about this.

You cannot simply write this off as her issue. She is your wife, so it's an issue you share.

Answer 5

This is something only you and your wife can figure out. You two know your past and your issues. You have to decide what is more important your career or your wife's feelings. Possibly if you include her in the decision making and make her more comfortable with it she may eventually come around but I wouldn't suggest ultimatums or fighting to get your way if your marriage is important you'll find a way to compromise and make both of you happy. Good luck!

Answer 6

What if she comes along with you for a few times during the sessions, to reassure her nothing bad is going down?
OR, just pick UGLY models? That way, you are doing your work w/o looking at hotties.
If it's for a class, there's a decent chance the models will be ugly. Had a friend that took such a class in college + they picked models that were about 70 y.o.
If you can pick relatively old models, she'll be reassured that you aren't trying to freak them, and you'll get to do what you need to do.
IF you won't have relatively ugly models, then I think she may be semi-justified in her position. Fail to see why you need attractive models, if in fact, this really is only for the sake of art, and not for getting off.

Answer 7

Have you done anything in the past that would make her feel you might do it again. Alot of time wives think about what happened before and try to make sure it doesn't happen again. Plus supporting a family with someone who is a "free-lancer" isn't easy, and wanting to pay someone to stand in front of her husband half naked doesn't sound like a way to spend money or a way to keep a marriage together. I say if you feel it is th half naked woman then only use a man, but if its the stress of supporting a family and spending money on something that probably wont bring in any money back, then you have another issue to deal with.

Answer 8

how long has mr. man been a freelance artist? why the sudden need to use live models? is it for a particular job? a class? under what kind of circumstances would mr. man be meeting with his models? privately or in a (semi)public forum? does mr. man have a model in particular that he would like to use?

to make your um, HIS wife more comfortable with the situation, perhaps he could be more open about the details. perhaps he could involve her in some way. perhaps SHE could be his model.

when many artists need a human subject, they do a photo shoot, and work from the photos. a high resolution digital camera can oftentimes give you more detail than actually having the subject in the room. it will also allow you, i mean HIM to work on the masterpiece when the model may not be available, and will probably be more cost-effective as well.

the lack of trust seems to signify that there's more to this situation than you have let on....

Answer 9

And the man has NO other options for making money then working with half clothed people. I wouldn't put my wife in that position but then again I love my wife and ain't looking to bang some models.

Answer 10

If the wife feels threatened, he should respect this and NOT do it.
It's not like this was part of the deal to start with. I'm sure he supports her career - but what if all of a sudden her career entailed naked beefcake? Ah - not so acceptable now, eh?