why assume cheating all the time?

Question

Why does everybody that answers questions to any married person in here always assume their spouse is cheating when their husband/wife loses interested in sex with them..I think that its very wrong to assume that cheating is involved when people who answered questions DONT even know the spouses husband/wife to even assume cheating and if the spouse starts a fight with their husband/wife cause people always assume cheating then their marriage could be in jeopardy for something the husband/wife for something they COULD be innocent of. So people who answer the questions SHOULDNT jump to conculsions about someone they DONT even know. The problem could very well be something else other then cheating.

Answer 1

I agree, folks shouldn't jump to conclusions, yet they do all the time. They conclude that if there are relationship issues it's the man that is at fault, or if there is abuse, the man is at fault, or if there is bad parenting, the man is at fault, etc.

However, after almost 42 years of living, I have to say that the script often looks the same when someone is cheating. They start taking secret cell phone calls, they are interesting in working out more, they are less interested in being with you, in or out of the bedroom.

There are signs that are pretty common to affairs, and to ignore those would be as wrong as to assume that nothing is wrong.

So perhaps the signs merit checking out, but not jumping to concusions or ignoring them.

Answer 2

The problem with your theory is that 90% of the time the reason is cheating. Yes, there could be health reasons, mental reasons, but if you have other things going on in a marriage that makes the spouse think the other each cheating. In fact when problems arrise you actual want to deny that your spouse would cheat on you . You call it friendship, you call they are just fooling around, playing etc. Anything put have to face the fact that the person that you love with all your heart would do such an awful thing as cheat on you. There are so many little signs, that you try to deny the fact that when you final have the guts to admit that your spouse is cheating, it is usually a full blown affair that the whole world knows about for sure but you. Good luck and hopefully it is something else, but the odds in Vegas are better than when a spouse has an idea the other is cheating.

Answer 3

I guess it's just that the statistics of spouses that cheat are very high and one of the major signs of cheating is the sex in the marriage comes to a halt or at least dwindles. It only makes sense if your sleeping around then you obviously have interest in someone else because you maybe having problems in your marriage and if they aren't cheating now and those problems aren't resolved it's an almost guarantee that they will. People think of cheating as an possible culprit because most of us have been cheated on, but there are obviously other reasons like health problems, stress about home life and money, job problems. So yes it's not always cheating but the statistics show otherwise.

Answer 4

People assume all sorts of things all the time. I agree, until you know a person, you dont know the situation at all....the same applies to someone who is cheating, people will judge you based on their own perceptions, yet they dont know the person, so they cannot know the situation.....its the same thing. We all assume something based on our own experiences in life...it is human nature...but sometimes we ask questions in the hope that someone will shed some light on our situation...to make it clearer for us, and we will only take on board stuff that is relevant....so the negative, judgemental people, while they will always be around becasuse they have such a small mind, they dont deserve to be given the time of day. Only take on board what is relevant to your situation and let all the other judgements fade away where they belong...in the trash. No-one will ever get the full situation with just words, thats a fact. You do have to know the people involved to get a real understanding of their situation, but even then, even in real life people will assume lots of things....all based on their perceptions, not on fact.

Answer 5

probably because the answerers them selves have been cheated on or have cheated on their lover, therefore insecurities lie.. meaning theyl assume cheating in other peoples relationships, where evidence has been put forth that would match the experiences they went through in a previous relationship which consisted of one of the two cheating on the others, example if one of the spouses suddenly went of sex they would quickly relate that to there cheating relationship and assume that person is cheating, instead of looking at more innocent points of view such as loss of libado a medical condition etc. Or they have seen a cheating relationship in there immediate family, or in a friends relationship, have examined that relationship seen the telltale signs, and bascially associate it with evidence put forth by Y/A questioners, giving a bias view of a situation. People basically work with what ever information they have, its not the answerers fault.

Answer 6

because it is the straightforward answer. human beings don't love taking a lengthy not ordinary look at themselves and determining what thier flaws are and examine out to advance on themselves. Or advance on the problem with assistance from really take it sluggish to delve into the problem and locate out what's devoid of a doubt incorrect. so a lot extra ordinary to easily leap to a end and say oh he/she should be dishonest. what's now to not like about that end it places each and every of the blame on the different human being and leaves no duty for the challenge on oneself. And no authentic attempt must be positioned into really searching and fixing the challenge... Hell in a dishonest difficulty the only being it truly is being cheated on has the straightforward answer go away and locate someone new and sense free with that until eventually eventually the dishonest occurs back. for sure on the different area of the coin, it ought to look that dishonest has change into really an epidemic, it ought to look that for each a million human being who isn't dishonest 2 others are. we are at present searching on the decline of civilization, the shortcoming of moratlity and values.

Answer 7

Get off your pedestal. On this site, it is very vague information we are given - and it's on that basis that we respond. USUALLY when someone suspects cheating - that IS the case. It's a sure sign of wandering. How many have you read where they have caught their spouse red-handed? DOZENS. So, although there may be instances where cheating isn't a factor - they are in the minority.

Answer 8

I agree. I've never assumed couples on cheating for this reason or that reason, and yes most of us don't know the situation, we can only give advice BASED on what information we're being given. If we knew EXACTLY what was going, we could give of coures much better detailed answeres etc.

Answer 9

I agree with you. But I gotta say, since I've been checking out yahoo answers, I can't believe how prevalent cheating is.
I say, unless there is proof, and unless your gut is telling you otherwise, it's best to give the benefit of the doubt.

Answer 10

That is very true. On the other hand the asker is asking for an answer. They definately get one, right or wrong...its a crap shoot on this forum.