we've broke up like 20 times. he says he'll change and do better and he never do. well i left him again and now hes calling again. how can i get him to realize i dont want him anymore without being mean to him. its over i have no more love for him to damage. he keeps saying he knows he was wrong. why does he keep saying that if he knows he not going to change? plz can someone tell me that. doesnt he see the pattern he has set. doesnt he see we keep breaking up. why does he want to keep going down the same route? i know i dont. so thats why im staying apart. but i hate to be mean to him. i just want him to realize its over as far as us dating. what do you think?
2007-02-05 07:06:03 · 16 answers · asked by eaglestraces123 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The problem is that he DOES understand the pattern he has set. The pattern he understands is that he did wrong, You two broke up and you take him back, it's happened about 20 times already. I'm wondering if you really want to end the relationship because you say you hate to be mean to him.
Just a few things to point out.
You have learned that he will not change.
You have tought him that it is okay to do...whatever he did...to you as long as he starts to put the charm on again once he did wrong.
You are eroding your self esteem by letting someone take advantage of you over and over.
He wants to date, you don't. If he gets his way, he will be happy and if he doesn't get his way, he will be unhappy. Isn't it time you think about what you want and not what he wants?
If you stop dating him no matter what your approach, it could get unpleasant and his feelings or pride will get hurt. Sometimes you have to do this in order to do the right thing.
I know, I have had similar problems. There are times when it is appropriate to get angry and make people mad. Especilally when you stand up for yourself and say, No, you can't do that to me. If his feelings are hurt by that then that is his problem, not yours.
Don't take his calls, change your number, don't agree to see him. If he persists, the one thing that will stop this most of the time is to say you will call the police to get a restraining order. Follow through with what you say you will do, or he will know that he can get away with anything.
2007-02-05 07:25:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He keeps saying things he doesn't mean because you keep believing him. You took him back 20 times and you wonder why he's back begging for forgiveness? If you actually want him out of your life forever, you have to tell him in plain english-you and I are through. Don't ever call me or come around again. I've have enough of your games and I deserve alot better. Then, when he calls again, you do not answer his calls, or return his messages, or if he comes over, you do not answer the door. There has to be a total end to all communication. Otherwise, you have nobody to blame but yourself.
2007-02-05 15:11:35 · answer #2 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what worked for me.
1) Changed my phone number.
2) Put his email address as spam.
3) Ignored, ignore, ignored all his attempts to contact me.
4) Allowed time to heal all wounds and built up my self-confidence again. Btw, #4 is impossible if you do not follow # 1, 2, and 3.
2007-02-05 15:16:45 · answer #3 · answered by drgnfly9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when he keeps crawling back i keep remembering everything he had done to me. the cheating the lies and just how low he had made me feel. i know its hard to let go of someone u love but if u keep allowing that someone to countiue hurting u your just letting him no its okay. for me staying as friends was not an option because it made it seems like i could not get anyone else but him come on if women can handle labor pains they can over come any thing so think things over is it really worth it?
2007-02-05 15:12:59 · answer #4 · answered by lala_lollypop_tasty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and tell him directly. You are both incompatible and have tried. You're done trying and want to move on. You hope he does too. If he continues to talk like he wants to be with you, tell him you want to give him space so he is not to contact you or come over until further notice. If he does, file a restraining order.
2007-02-05 15:10:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok just tell him that u want to move on and that ur tired of him doin the same thing over and over again and when he calls, dont answer, simple as that, and ask if hes ok w bing frineds and if so; then great but make sure u make it clear that u dont want to b anything more then that
2007-02-05 15:12:58 · answer #6 · answered by Shi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's meaner to keep letting him come back, when you know it's doomed. Do the nicer thing, and end it firmly by stopping all contact with him! It might hurt more now, but it will let him get on with his life sooner. Plus, you need to get on with your life!
2007-02-05 15:10:56 · answer #7 · answered by rklst9pitt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mine ended in court dates....
if he hurt u then he was mean to u, be a true woman and get some courage and tell him to leave u alone and no! u can not be friends either.
2007-02-05 15:09:10 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sound like you BOTH need to change.
Relationships are a two-way street.
Whatever he keeps doing wrong, you're allowing it.
Make up your mind and stick with it.
2007-02-05 15:11:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes u don't need 2 be mean 2 him just explain to him but if he insist then u can then warn him.
2007-02-05 15:22:17 · answer #10 · answered by olawale michael 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋