Why are Bi-Men less socially acceptable then Bi-Woman?

Question

I appreciate your intelligent, honest opinion.. Since what we all have here is a group of opinions. If your a knuckle dragger please refrain from dragging.

Answer 1

Mainly because, for some reason, male homosexual behavior is seen as 'tainting'. People don't seem to mind gay men (well, intelligent people, at least), and most people are thrilled at straight men, but a man in the middle is the sort of meeting of two worlds they want clearly defined. I think it's quite clear in the fact that women are allowed to sexually experiment without loss of their sexual orientation labels, but if a man even so much as kisses another man, he is instantly seen as gay. Bisexual women, on the other hand, suffer the opposite phenomenon: the weakening of lesbian sexual behavior. It's consistently seen as a sexuality that is 'lacking something', defined by the absence of a penis, and something very retrovertible and somehow secondary- this concept that while some women might like women, they all can 'go back' to heterosexuality, or need to meet the right man, or would go wild at the idea of bringing men into their relationships. This idea that the bisexual woman is really just an adventurous female, while a bisexual man is a confirmed, tried and true gay man but with a dangerous fetish for women, is at the root of things, I think.

I think the bisexual man is threatening to a lot of people; for women, he represents a man who is somehow 'above' their sway and so-called 'p*ssy power'- if he gets tired of her games, or just tired of her in general, he can seek the company of other men. Of course, this isn't true- bisexual men are just as loving and fallible to the charms of women as straight men, but the myth persists. Women who are with bisexual men see themselves in terms of lacking what men have; men who are with bisexual women don't see themselves as lacking breasts, a vagina, and feminine qualities, but as instead having the penis. And for straight men, the bisexual man isn't as far-away as the gay man is- he and the bisexual man have something in common, but for that one little difference, and heap that knowledge on top of the already existing sort of sexual tension and fear between straight men, and a bisexual man is someone to be avoided. Bisexual women, on the other hand, don't seem to be threatening to straight women. Maybe it's because of the view of lesbianism that I described above; even women buy into it and believe that having a same-sex experience isn't damning in the least. Or perhaps there's less sexual tension between women in the quality that it exists in men.

And then bisexual men get the worst of the stereotypes and myths pushed onto them, particularly the idea that they spread disease from the gay community to straight and even were the ones who 'gave AIDS to straight people' (quite untrue!). Lesbian sex, having such small disease sharing rates, doesn't impune bisexual women with this myth. Too, perhaps, is the idea that bisexuality in men and women are different things. Women are often viewed as being more emotional, more romantic, and with more focus on relationships, whereas men are seen as sexual creatures who tend to rank physicality much higher. Therefore bisexual women are just being with those they love and their same-sex relationships are benign, but bisexual men, particularly those who only seek sex with men but sex and relationships with women, make it seem that their bisexuality is lust-driven. Which, of course, it is (what is bisexuality if not lust for both sexes?), but society tends to shun what they call 'excessive sexual indulgence', and that is considered one of them, perpetuating the concept that bisexual men are greedy, sex-addicted, and 'want to have their cake and eat it, too'.

For whatever reason, lesbian sex is attractive to most straight men; with some exceptions, gay male sex is only attractive to gay or bisexual men. This is bound to influence society's concept on bisexual men and women generally. A woman's bisexuality is seen as a benefit, a plus, a man's bisexuality is seen as a detractor and a risk. Perhaps it comes back to the idea that men handle relationships differently, and that a bisexual woman, for the sake of being a woman, is not so prone to affairs and cheating, whereas men are assumed to follow wherever their penises lead them. Or it comes down to the idea that, coming from lesbian-sex-as-not-serious/real premise, that if a bisexual woman does happen to cheat, it's not real infidelity if it's with another woman (but a man, with either sex, is a definitely infidelity).

Then there's the awful study that came out that reported that there is no such thing as male bisexuality (but that female bisexuality was alive and kicking). Never mind that the study has been debunked and shown for its methodological flaws; the public has it imprinted on their brains that bisexual men don't really exist, that they are really gay. It only seems to worsen things that many gay men hide behind the label of bisexual sometimes before coming out, or, in discovering their sexualities, use the term before transitioning to gay, making it seem that all bisexual men are really gay and either lying in order to get 'straight perks' or because they are ashamed of their homosexuality. Similarly, for gay or even bisexual men who come out of straight relationships or marriages to be with men, they are seen as having 'went to the other side' or having been closeted before, and this imbues people, women in particular, with a deep fear: if he's bisexual, he might want to leave me for a man later. Lesbian or bisexual women doing the same to be with other women is far less advertised or made such a fuss of, so it doesn't get the same treatment.

All of this stuff sort of combines into an awful brou-haha of negativity towards bisexual men, and it never gets any better because there are precious few bisexual men in the media spotlight, whereas it's become trendy for women to be bisexual (like Angelina Jolie, etc.). I think I covered the basics; hope that helps.

Answer 2

Well, if a woman is bi then a straight man can picture finding two bi chicks to have a threesome with. If a man is bi then a straight man starts to worry that maybe the bi man is interested in him. That threatens his manliness.

Since straight men are still a very vocal part of the dominant culture this view of bi men and bi women is very common.

Answer 3

it's just societies reverse-double standard. women seem to be able to get away with more then men when it comes to accepting opposite gender roles.. same thing for bisexuality.. even casual straight women can get away with hugging and kissing their best friends but guys are forced to stick to handshakes.. not really appropriate if you ask me. men have just as many feminine and emotional feelings as girls do, and for us to have to supress these feelings, well, it is not mentally healthy.. no wonder more guys suffer from stress and burnout..

Answer 4

I think it is because society views women's bodies differently than men's. Most men think, "Hmmm. Two women? Cool!" "Ewww, two dudes, sick!" I personally think any two people who are happy together is great! I am a bi woman and I also think two men together are hot!!

Answer 5

because gay men are less socially acceptable than gay women. the dominant viewpoint of society right now is that of the straight white Christian male, and the straight white Christian male thinks that gay men are gross, and disseminates this view to everyone else. Of course there are plenty of people fighting this myopic viewpoint, but it's still the most dominant it seems.

Answer 6

I think people view bi guys as less manly, which is totally wrong.I don't see anything wrong with it. I think it is hot!!!

Answer 7

because any form of homosexulaity in men is considered un-masculine. in women men can (In their minds) have his girlfriend and his girlfriends friend at the same time.

Answer 8

your guess is as good as mine...but I say each to his own and negative thoughts should be kept to oneself.....life is a garden...the bouquet is always more appealing in a mix.

Answer 9

Cleanliness is next to Godliness.