My brother punched his wife in the mouth....?

Question

and broke his fist and two of her teeth. Obviously it was a fight between them, now they are seeking a divorce. It's not that they aren't both violent (she's beaten his butt a number of times, him to her as well) but now they are talking about splitting up their two kids who are very good. What advise should I give.
I kind of know they are not going to work out (in fact I knew that three years ago) but I don't want them to mess up two good young children. I need some good advise here - please help.

Answer 1

I think you should try and convince them to place their children with family members who can adopt them and give them a stable home, and for both of them to go away.
Neither parent is fit. The children should be removed from them both. The only way to keep them together is probably to place them with family.

Answer 2

There is not much you can do or say as they have a toxic relationship. Regardless of if she is abusive to him as well the law will look at it as he has anger issues and no matter what it will lean in her favor. You could advise your brother until you are blue in the face but obviosly he is not the type to take it.

For one let it play out. Just be around here and there and the kids will get the idea that they have someone to reach out to.

Your brother is screwed no matter what. Since him and his wife are in this cycle and nothing is working if he was a MAN he would stop argueing and using violence as a way to make a point. If he suddenly chilled out and became a human she would be forced to reevaluate. If he was really smart he would just leave saying that he loves her and the kids but nothing is working so something has to change. Tell him he needs to just shut the heck up for a bit and think about what is important. The kids are most important above all else. I could go on but you know..... your brother won't get it.

Answer 3

Violence is no way to solve problems. It is probably better they split up because they are doing the wrong thing by their children anyway. I would suggest, any advice you give, should be in the form of supporting their decision to split up. The atmosphere they are raising their children in, is unhealthy, and if they stay together much longer the children will have learnt what their parents have taught them, that is, to punch someone in the mouth is an OK thing to do. They will never learn what real love is all about if they are raised in a domestic violence situation. They could probably end up being wife/husband beaters themselves when they get older. Support the split 100%, that is the only advice I would give.

The kids are paramount, and its good you are thinking about them, be there if they need to talk, give them your support. Tell them, if you have to, that it is a good thing their parents are splitting because hitting is not an acceptable way to deal with things, but also tell them, that their mummy and their daddy will always love them just as much and they will probably be a lot happier if the parents were not together.

Take care.

Answer 4

The children is all they should be thinking bout and how they life will be apart from there family it could mess them up for good and it's no way two people that's thinking bout there self can get that back. They knew that it wasn't going to work out anyway when they got marry and maybe it a good thing that they are splitting up for the kids ask yourself what would you what and what the best way to get it.

Answer 5

Well unfortunately once children are exposed to that type of immature behavior by their parents, they will have some issues when they are older. They'll think it's ok to treat each other like crap and beat the snot out of each other. They think it's ok to get a divorce and split up their families...It's sad really.
Your brother and his wife chose this route and they brought two good children into this mess. Sounds like they are both immature and need to grow up. They should have not had kids and now they did and they'll grow up to treat their spouses like crap. What a great society we live in. I advise you to tell them to get counseling for their children.

Answer 6

When a marriage becomes violent that way, it's time for a divorce, those children will be better off with divorced parents, then living with 2 violent people, and watching them punch each other out.

Answer 7

It is always sad when a marriage doesn't work but in this case I think the kids would be better off. If they continue to see their parents beat each other up , what kind of message is this sending the kids? It hurst more than two people can imagine to see your mom and dad hit each other. And you grow up thinking its normal and end up in a relationship just like theirs. You kind of feel at home so to speak. i think that I would advise them to go ahead and divorce for the kids sake. Good Luck!

Answer 8

If they are behaving that way in the home, it would be better if they split up. Especially for the sake of their children. Kids need a better example of what marriage and family is than parents who are both physically violent. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but, it will be better for the kids if they split up if they bring out each other's violent tendencies.

Answer 9

As the old country song goes, "I kissed my sweetie with my fist".
They should divorce because, my dear, if they have violent fights and are physically assaulting one another, they are not doing any favours to their kids by staying together. Those children will grow up to be abused and/or abusers and think that you solve your marital issues by hitting, breaking bones, teeth, and other vital organs.
Those two should divorce immediately and also seek vigorous counselling, for themselves and their children, who are no doubt already damaged by all this.

Answer 10

They should both go to anger management classes and someone should monitor the children to make sure that are not a witness to any more violence from either parent and that the parents to not get violent with the children themselves. If there's any substance abuse issues, they should seek help for that as well.

Answer 11

No i dont beleive you can get arrested now its in the past and i do not think she can now press charges, you should have just called the cops after this happened, I know should have could have but I think you all need to sit down and talk about what happened and get it all out there even though its gunna be really really tough, ur brother should have NEVER head butted your wife no matter what, Yeah could maybe oress charges if u wanted to but she owuld have had to go to the doctors and get him to write down the damage and that a head butt would have caused this. But before anything gets worse Sit down and talk !!! And maybe u and your wife need to talk too!!