All right so me and this girl have been friends for over 12 years.(we are 15 years old). Her family has problems with me and her being friends even though i dont do drugs/sex/alchol/smoke. None of that bad stuff. So I didnt want to continue making her fight with her family so i broke the relationship. She called me up and left me a message saying this:
The 2 persons that I most counted on turned and stabbed me in tha baq jee thanks and we should forget like we were never frineds , but remember all those timez when I waz there fo u when we were laughtin n junk n if u wanna act like that blockin me fine I will delete u from my MSN mind thoughts and good luck findin anotha cousin, cuz I have always believed that there is noone reall in this world and then u came and I said hey look she iz reall but now I'm startin to think that u aint reall either cuz if u were u would be here n not let noone break our frinedship but I guess u didnt like me either.
2007-02-05 06:36:26 · 12 answers · asked by Haley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Did I do the right thing by ending this friendship? I did it just so she will be happy with her family I ddin't want to cause her harm anymore.I did tell her I will be here for her if she needs help but we wouldn't be friends.
2007-02-05 06:36:34 · update #1
Well it really depends first what you want. If you want her friendship why you need to care about her parents? The same thing happened to me. I am 23 years old now and me and my best friend are friends since 11 years. So we were kids when her parents didn't like me because me and her were doing crazy things in the teen age and her and my marks were terrible. So my parents changed the class I was to separate us, her parents told her to ask me stop calling her. And do you know what happened? She was calling me secretly with a coin from outside, no matter I was at other class we were hanging in the breaks, later we even changed schools but we were keeping to see each other, to talk about boys and to do weird things as the teen age is you know ( I also do not mean drugs or sex or alcohol) we were just making fun with the boys, taking their telephone numbers, pretending on the phone, teasing our classmates, making our teachers crazy. We were very naughty kids. So we never stopped being friends, even my and her parents were against, we were hiding our friendship for some years.
Now I am 23 and she is 22 and when we remember what we have done in the teen age we feel really ashamed but we are still best friends. She graduated university, she has her boyfriend, I am looking for my Mr Right but we were always together to comfort each other, to support each other and to be always there when needed. I have been abroad and she was writing me mails every day. I hope we will be friends always! Her parents do not mind me now, neither my parents mind her, they are totally ok with our friendship, even our families communicate on the phone sometimes!
So my advice is if you feel that girl is your best friend, nothing should stop you to be there for her. A best friend is someone that gives you a shoulder when you need to cry, that make you laugh when you are sad, that tells you the truth in a way you will accept it, that says yes to what you want even if they will miss you, that agrees to your wishes even if he/she disagrees, to give you a hand when you fall, to look at your eyes when want to tell you something it might hurt, not to say sorry when he/she is wrong but to forgive you when you have been wrong and finally but not on the last place to share your sadness or happiness and the things you go trough like he/she is going trough them.
If you really feel like she is the best friend for you, do not give up your friendship!
2007-02-05 11:02:55 · answer #1 · answered by Natalie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is totally up to you. If you want to remain friends with this girl, then thats your choice, but dont make her choices for her based on what you think is best for her. Obviously it is not in her best interests because she wrote you that email. Her parents probably have a problem with everyone, and if you dont do sex/drugs, etc, then there is no reason why the parents shouldnt want you being friends with their daughter. I think the problem is with the parents and not you. You obviously provided your friend with support, and now that you have stopped being friends with her, she feels she has no-one. I get the impression that something not so good is happening at home with the parents and there is probably no-body else in this world this girl could probably turn to. You should never make choices for other people based on what you assume is happening. Allow her the right to make her own choices. Obviously. the fighting with the parents was worth it because you are a dear friend to her. Ultimately, it is your choice whether you want to remain friends with her. If you have cut the friendship because of something other than what you want, then it was a wrong choice. If you want to remain friends with her, then send her an email telling her you made a mistake, that you do want to remain friends with her and tell her the reasons why you decided to end the friendship. If she knows you were doing it in an attempt to protect her, then she will understand.
Take care.
2007-02-05 06:47:29 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation to be in. I feel for you. You behaved unselfishly and respected your friend's emotional state of mind (sparing her further grief) as well as her family/parent's feelings/rules, in regard to the friendship. Indeed, she has lost a true friend! No wonder she's broken-hearted!
On the other hand, you severed a close friendship, that appears to have bonded like sisters, over the years, which resulted in hurting you, both. Sometimes, a mediator can help resolve issues, such as parents. Is it possible your parents and hers can come together and communicate to resolve "their" differences? If that's not possible, then I would make my best effort to thoroughly explain to your friend why you've terminated the relationship, for a peace of mind (as well as her own) and mend broken hearts. Remember: What we reciprocate to others, will be reciprocated back to us.
I would most certainly continue acknowledging this friend @ school and when bumping into her @ public forums, even if you no longer "hang-out," together, and even if parents were unable to come to amicable terms. There's no disrespect or disobedience, when we're friendly/kind towards others.
Much Happiness to you, both.
2007-02-05 07:13:23 · answer #3 · answered by LeeMonade 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a wonderful girl. If your friend's family can't see that then that is their problem. I think that you should continue to be friends with this girl, no matter what her family thinks. She obviously needs you and you will both regret it for years to come if you end this friendship. Friends are too precious to be lost. Don't ever throw them away if they are a true friend. Make sure you explain why you did what you did to her so that she understands and so that it won't cause a gap between you. Best of luck! ;-)
2007-02-05 06:53:17 · answer #4 · answered by cluckder 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh boy...So sorry to take heed to you're having a tough time. At 12 i assumed I knew all of it, and that i think of maximum childrens do. She in all probability won't totally comprehend what variety of responsiblity she has taken on till the toddler is there..and that would desire to additionally be weeks after the delivery. i'm no longer a mom, So i'm undecided my suggestion is the superb, yet i might do your superb to make specific she takes a genuine looking quantity of duty. i would not enable her push this baby directly to you. there is not any longer something incorrect with being a worrying powerful grandmother, yet she is the mummy, and she or he needs to take that place. perchance you will get her an at homestead practice, or does her college supply a teenager mom's application? stable success
2016-10-01 11:31:00 · answer #5 · answered by tuberman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you were the wrong one here. Although you did'nt stab her in the back, you were a coward to let go off a friendship, and you still think that what you did was the ultimate sacrifice for friendship. The problem is her parents and not you. She trusted you fully and believed that the foundation of your friendship can overcome all obstacles, but then, you shattered it.
2007-02-05 06:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by Hanna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO you didnt. Since it was her family, she should have been the one to end it if she wanted it ended.
IF HER family is the one who had the problem and she didnt care why should you.
2007-02-05 07:08:29 · answer #7 · answered by kissmymiddlefinger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, I think it was a stupid thing to do. You shouldn't have decided to be the "good person" without talking to your friend about it. It was wrong to make that decision without her. Now, she feels like you betrayed her.
2007-02-05 06:42:30 · answer #8 · answered by hollyrenee21 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she is hurt. Maybe you try to explain to her why you stopped being her friend. It might help the situation. If she was really your friend then she will make the effort to try and understand.
2007-02-05 06:53:30 · answer #9 · answered by Bookworm 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
from the sound of it all your friend cared about was your friendship and not what her family thought so she is hurt.
2007-02-05 06:42:19 · answer #10 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋