Am caring and understanding kind of person but my mother in-law has made my life miserable.After we had a baby

Question

She took controle of the family all in the name of helping my wife with the new born baby.I feel as if it is no longer our own home or our own baby.i have asked my wife to speak to her mother,but although she agrees with me,she says she can't cope without her mother.One eveing,I came home from work so tired and i went striaght to the bedroom,my wife just came in and start shouting at me that i didn't greet nobody,and slaped me, i told her that am very tired,and the mom came in start shouting and saying that i don't love my wife or the baby.After some time,i apologise and tried to calm everybody down,as i touched my mother in-law to say am sorry she just fail down and fainted,thank God that she is not died.The most happiest time in a man's live is now the worstest time in my own life.I mean where is the joy,i had a nice plan for me and my family and i know where i belong and how to help my wife but now all that i have worked,dreamed,suffered,prayed,cryed,for has falling apart.Why

Answer 1

Your wife should visit a doctor for post-partum depression, your mother in law should try to stop a fast moving train with her head, and you should be nominated for sainthood.

Answer 2

You need to have a sit down with your wife and tell her exactly how you feel and that it can't go on the way it is. The Mother in law is putting a big strain on your lives and she will destroy what you have left if you do not do something about it now. If you and your wife love each other you should be able to discuss how she can still have her mum but on a lesser level. The problem has to be solved soon or no one is going to end up happy, maybe the mother in law will be. Even if the mother in law helps out but the agreement be that she is gone before you come home from work then you and your wife can look after your own baby. It is nice to spend time with your partner and the baby alone. Tell yr wife you would like to try it some time.

Hope this helps

Answer 3

Oh I do feel sorry for you! First, your wife is pretending to be helpless, in order to have someone there doing what she should be doing herself. I understand if the mother-in-law wants to come over during the day to help put and spend time with the baby. But she should be gone long before you get home from work. And where does your wife get the idea that it is OK to slap you? And by her mother falling on the floor i can see where your wife gets her dramatic personality from. I would tell her that her mother needs to be gone BEFORE you walk in the door from work. And if she can't deal with this she can take the baby and go stay with her mother until she can grow up and be the woman you thought you had married. Also I would warn her that if she ever slaps you again for something so stupid that you will slap her back. She has taken advantage of you and everything else. She sounds like a spoiled brat and if you don't show her who the man of the house is her mother will probably end up living with you! Somewhere along the line you have given her the idea that she is in control of everything and can have her way. Change this first and then gradually deal with the spoiled brat part. Its your house and your baby too. You do have some say about who is there and when you would like to be alone. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

# 1 don't get so tore up you cannot use proper grammar.

# 2 Sounds like wife needs to cut the apron strings!

#3 Unless you can make your wife see that your family unit needs to consist of you, your baby and her you have got trouble.

There is nothing more destructive than busy body in-laws. Because no matter what you do you will never be good enough for their little girl. Mother-in-law will take over if you allow it. Step up and don't go to bed when you get home, help your wife and offer her support. Don't give Mother-in-Law ammunition.

Tell your wife to grow up and be a wife and mother. And you be a husband and father. You guys are not children anymore.

Answer 5

Time to man up.

Tell your wife that it is time to be the mother in the house which means not acting like a child.

Also time to tell mom you appreciate the help but if she continues to interfere in your marriage she will have to leave.
This is not HER house. This is YOUR wife, no longer her little girl.
The child is yours NOT hers and you would like her to begin to act that way or she can get the hell out of your house.
The risk is that your wife may chose to go with her but usually do not when the bluff is called.
There is no way I accept the MIL telling me what my feelings are for my wife. I also think you showed great restraint in not returning shouting with the same. I'm not as patient.

To me it is time to take charge and make sure the ground rules are applied . The ones about being slapped and yelled at because you did not say hello.

Answer 6

It is a very hard time for a woman when they have sole responsibility for a new born baby. She does need support and if she is not getting it from you, then she needs somebody. You may have been tired, but what about her? You try meeting the needs of a baby on a 24 hour, need basis and see what tiredness really is. If you want this time to be special, then you have to understand a lot more than you are. There is a lot of stress in the household, but is it exclusively your mother-in-laws fault, or should you take some of the blame too? Do you help out with the baby? If you are prepared to help out and give your wife the support she needs, then tell her that....tell her that you dont need her mother there all the time, and come to an agreement with your wife what you can and cant do. Maybe of a morning, you can get up to the baby and feed him/her...take some pressure off your wife...give her the support she needs and maybe she wont have to rely on her mother so much. Obviously it is stressing the mother out for her to feint, so its probably too much for her. Make a roster, support your wife in raising your child....give her the help she is screaming out for. Maybe take some time off work....do it right...this is your child too.

Answer 7

Why? Because you have forgotten that you are a man and firstly a human being. You tell your wife that the next time she put her hands on you, you will file charges of assault against her. What's happening , your wife have let your mother in law brain wash her and she is mad at her but taking it out on you. You tell that meddling in law, that if you didn't love your wife and kid, putting up with her you would have been left them and never looked back. Don't let them gang up on you like that. Even if you weren't tired and wanted to go to the room, because you didn't want to see the in law's face, then that's for you to do and your wife was wrong for jumping in your face like she did. Ask her how would she feel if you raised your hand to hit her. Now ask her momma do she think her daughter love you after pounding on you?

Answer 8

Well, praying is the right thing to do. But you are the man and you somehow are going to have to take control of your family unless your mother in law pays some bills. Maybe you should try to move to another state. Also, if she leaves will you be able to handle helping your wife with the baby? She needs to grow up. Her farther handed her to you at the wedding they need to cut the cord......

Answer 9

Sounds like your wife and your mother in law are trying to control everything you need to talk to your wife and then your mother in law or both of them at the same time. You don't want your mother in law to start thinkin she is the mother of this baby. We are having that problem right now but I am not the bio mom of the child. Talk now or you will go crazy. God bless and Good luck

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear that. Everyone falls apart from time to time. I had a hard time about a month ago cause I just got married and moved out. It's getting a little better, but it's still hard. So don't get dissapointed. Don't make any plans because just when you think you have it all figured out, life throws you a curve ball. You just gotta roll with the punches. Good luck. Congratulations with the baby.

Answer 11

Firstly, you should lay down the law both with your wife and her mother. Tell your wife that she is the mother of the children and she has to learn to cope. Secondly ask your mother-in-law to leave. She may visit at agreed times only until she can behave. I think your wife may need to see a doctor incase she has post-natal depression. You are the man in the house and your wife is your equal partner. Your mother-in-law has no role in your family unless it is one that you have invited her to have. Do not let your children see your mother-in-law insult you as they may think this is ok and it most certainly is not.