together we had a really good realtionship minus his depression. I was there for him for much of it. He never was treated professionally. WE are 29 yrs old and he had gotten a one night stand pregnant before we met. When I helped him come to terms with it, he left me to be with the mother of his child. She played her part well, I am sure she manipualted him into thinking he should have been there,& what he missed out on. He turned so coldly to me,& said hurtful things, I couldnt believe. Like that we were never really together & did I think it was really going to work between us!! WE had nothing but love for each other. I couldnt beleive he was saying this to me for complete trash. Now, he found out she lied to him about her childhood saying she was raped, molested. & he ended the relationship with her. But now he cant and wont even talk to me now. First I want to know how could he turn on me like that? Is it part of depression? Also, do you think he is ashamed, emabarrased?
2007-02-05 06:29:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Speaking from personal experience (although this doesn't justify anyone's actions) depression can make you do very selfish and hurtful things, just because you believe them to be right at the time. When I went on appropriate medication, I could feel all my viewpoints changing one by one, and I was startled about how differently I felt about everything.
Living and getting along with a depressive is certainly no easy task, and when there's a child involved, is needs must come first.
Whatever the result, it's important you feel confident and assured that this isn't your own doing, and I hope you find the strength to continue proudly and with valour.
2007-02-05 07:25:15 · answer #1 · answered by muldenthalle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He tried to make things right for his child (or what he thought was his) and you can't fault him for that. The rest, well chalk it up to typical nasty break up. Some guys end things nicely, some have to make themselves out to be the greatest thing ever as they leave. I would say that you should really look at the relationship closely-was it as good as you say or are you covering for the fact that it had problems. I have yet to meet anyone with a truely good split-unless lots of time has passed and they now call the other person "you know that guy I dated that summer, what was his name" because by then you forget the crummy stuff you put up with. Learn from this and move on, you will meet the person you are supposed to. And the part of being a total ***-no that isn't depression, it is a personality trait! Be glad you found out sooner rather than later!
2007-02-05 06:41:58 · answer #2 · answered by VAgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he suffers from a bi-polar disorder. He should see a professional. In the long run, you are much better off without him. I know it bothers you now, but you seem like a very kind, caring person and should have no problem finding someone who deserves such a special person.
2007-02-05 06:34:54 · answer #3 · answered by ciza29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not sound like he is bipolar at all. It seems like your ex was torn between the mother of his child and you. He probably doesn't want to talk to you because he is confused about the whole situation and probably embarrassed or ashamed like you said. He probably feels as though walking away from both you and the other woman would solve his problems.
2007-02-05 06:56:15 · answer #4 · answered by selski2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is devasted by his foolishness. He cannot come to terms with giving up something wonderful for something worthless, so he is determined to convince himself that what you had together was also worthless. As long as he can devalue you, he doesn't have to deal with his huge mistake. Time will change that. You have to make a choice to either wait for him to realize and admit his mistake, or to put it behind you and move on with your life. Either way, there is no reason for you to tolerate such treatment. He obviously did not have enough value for your relationship, or you.
2007-02-05 06:43:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but there seems to be no logical explanation for that kind of behaviour. I can only think that this guy is suffering from some sort of repressed mental problem. In any case you need to eject him from your system. You may forgive him if you can, but I'm sure that your too special to waste your life on someone like that...
2007-02-05 06:36:59 · answer #6 · answered by Buddha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want someone in your life who is so easily manipulated? Get real. Find someone who has a backbone and who can communicate without the hurt.
As for your holding onto this hurt, let it go. Life is WAYYY too short to hold onto such things.
2007-02-05 06:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child is a very powerful thing. There is nothing you can do but move on. You deserve better anyways.
2007-02-05 06:35:24 · answer #8 · answered by over the moon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your man is depressed or bi-polar. he needs to talk to a doctor and see if there is medication out there for him. as far as him turning cold on you that is part of being bi-polar, as well as being ashamed and embarrassed
2007-02-05 06:36:06 · answer #9 · answered by cheeze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
neither i think that he used u
2007-02-05 06:37:50 · answer #10 · answered by pepe le pew 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋