How do you get over a friend who's rejected you?

Question

I had a very good friend who got mad at me because she thought that I lied to her about something. She wouldn't listen when I tried to explain to her that I hadn't lied and it was only a misunderstanding. I even tried to talk to her about it several times. Now she won't talk to me or contact me and has told me that she doesn't want anything to do with me. I've tried to forget the whole thing and move on, but it's not working. I keep thinking about it and it bothers me. How can I get over this?

Answer 1

It hurts when someone we really like and respect turns on us. I think that only the passing of time and a new friend will heal you. You will never forget, and it will still hurt when you think about it -- but with time you will think about it less. It seems unfair to you, and it probably is, but you cannot make some change their minds about stuff like this. It is best to focus on people who bring you joy and make you laugh. (This happened to me over 10 years ago and it still hurts -- but only when I think about it, which is now almost never!)

Answer 2

Sweety you can approach this in many ways:

1) You can look at it this way, if she was really your friend she'd be willing to talk to you and hear you out. She wouldn't just jump to conclusions and tell you that you're a liar. Good friends just don't do that. Good friends should be able to say whatever's on their minds and move on. You calling her and whatever other means is making you look desperate. So let it go because if she was a real friend she'd be willing to work this out.

2) Perhaps she has some deep issues that she's dealing with and whatever she thinks you did just made it worse for her. Give her some time to relax and clear her head. In the meantime don't call her send her an email or a handwritten letter. Explain to her that you're sorry for your part in the misunderstand and you'd like to sit and talk about it. You'd like for her to hear your side and in return you want to hear hers. Let her know that in your opinion her friendship means a lot to you, enough where you don't think a misunderstanding can't be worked out and the friendship should be over.

Hope for the best but be prepared for the worse. Either way, keep your chin up and know that no matter what you did your best to correct the situation.

Answer 3

Being on the other end: someone I called my very best friend told secrets and did some other things. She said that I never told her they were secret (that's a total lie--just the very nature of them was so "deep" that even if I hadn't and I had...anyway you get the point).

I want nothing to do with her. If, in your case, you really totally did not lie to her--not even a little bit, not even a white lie or stretch the truth or omit something (that's called a lie of omission), the point is she believes that you did.

You cannot make it better because she is honestly hurt and betrayed (even if you were really honest). She is not wrong and according to you, you're not wrong. I'd say send her a card (something she might open and not easily delete) that says something like, "I know that you believe I hurt you. I did not lie and I respect you. If in the future you ever want to talk to me, I'm hoping you'll call."

Leave it open for her to come back.

Answer 4

I understand what you are saying. I have the same problem, but you know what, I am not going to beg someone to be my friend. I have too much love and respect for myself to do that. If you have tried and she still doesn't want to be your friend then I think you should do the same. Stop it. I know it hurts but don't beg anyone. Leave it alone. Try not to be around her and find other things to do. Get new friends and just ignore her maybe when she realizes that you gave up, maybe then she will want your friendship back.

Answer 5

Now my dear, you are learning the true definiton of a friend. It is best to call most people associates, friendships are forged in very different circumstances. Im sure that in time she will speak with you, if she doesnt, then let her go. But for now why not just deal with the pain, and move by PRAYING about it, and just continuing on with your life?

Answer 6

I know how you feel. This type of situation is always difficult because it deals with trust. You are having a hard time because you are right and she is wrong,
and you can't get through to her.
The best thing to do is to give your friend some time to think it over.
If she really is a true friend, she will come around and listen to what you have to say.

Answer 7

well obviously she wasnt as a good friend as u thought she was because she would of believed you when u said u didnt lie and she would of got over it! you can get over this my no doing anything that reminds you of it or hangin out with people that u have fun with and that makes you leave all your worries! Or what helps me is when i write down whats bothering me on a paper then read it a couple of time then rip it up and throw it away! like your throwing the thought away and it wont come back!

Answer 8

It takes time. You will get over it. You are young and this is part of life. Think of the nice times you shared and then stop thinking about it. Move on. Drop it with her as she requested.

Answer 9

Well i think that is way unfortunate. First off i would write her an email explaining everything...... and try to make her understand second i would let time do its thing. just remember this.............a true friend will always forgive and puts u up instead of push u down

Answer 10

i would forget her if she was your real friend then she would listen to u plus u never no she might b the one lien and it is just bothering her on the inside but if she didnt want to understand where your coming from yall would of never worked out as best buds n-e waz