there is this girl, i have a crush on. she looks up as me as a close friend, and doesn't want more than that. so in front of her, i only act as a friend, no more...
recently, she told me she has mild clinical depression for more than a year now. i was really frustrated, she could have told me earlier so i could have sought help... but she said, she did went to doctors and counsellors, took medication, and now it is "under control", but im still worried. she stopped her medication now because she says they make her tired (she's asthmatic), making me even more worried... i thought her parents/relatives knew about her condition, but it was totally opposite!!! she insists not to tell them about it, because she says the conflicts within her paternal family were the cause of her depression, and telling them could worsen things...
i've tried to persuade her time and again to inform her parents about it, but she insists she has it under control.
what should i do?
thanks.
2007-02-05 06:20:46 · 8 answers · asked by urbanvigilante 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
yes, i know my feelings for her could be bad for both of us, so i'm trying my best to kill that emotion in me...
her parents live in a neighbouring country. she lives in my country, with her auntie, so that she can further her studies. if i were to try to contact her parents, that would be too hard, but i know i must somehow do that =(
2007-02-05 06:23:53 · update #1
If I am understanding you correctly, she does not live with her parents now but her Aunt. It is her Aunt that needs to know about the Depression and encourage her to take her medicine. She has her own reasons for Not telling her Parents and in fact she may be telling the Truth when she says, they play a major role in her depression, so I agree with her, that telling them would possibly only make matters worse. Ask her to confide in her Aunt. Alot of people have Depression, and they do not want to believe it but others can support them getting back on the right track. You are right to be there for your friend as much as possible, and keep your real feelings about her to yourself at least until she is more stable.. best of Wishes
2007-02-13 01:38:26 · answer #1 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are more concerned than she is.
Help her through this stage without interfering and learn a little about depression for when you face it in the future.
Your friend is obviously aware of her needs, and unless suicide is a powerful force for her, time is a great healer almost as powerful as the feelings you have for her.
Your role will not go unnoticed.
Your dilemma is more of not knowing the intricate nature of depression (and there are many different types)
Trust that your being a friend is a very profound medicine, and do respect her wishes to do things her own way
2007-02-12 17:57:45 · answer #2 · answered by tillermantony 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Use her weakened state of emotions to your advantage and get it on with her. I have gone through this very same situation a couple years ago and it was soooo worth it. I realized that her chemical imbalance made her a nymphmaniac and she could never get enough of what she needed. This girl literally ground me down to a nub after a few months and I had to break it off with her once she was committed to a psychiatric ward.
It seems cruel to do to a person but I had to make the best of a situation that I could not apply a solution to. She did not want to help herself so I did what I could to help her cravings.
2007-02-09 15:53:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to tell her family, if she's comfortable with it. She doesn't have to tell them why she's seeking counseling, and the counselor cannot give any info out without her consent. As for the whole tired with asthma thing, been there, done that. But there are zillions of anti-depressants out there. Does she feel she needs to be on meds? If she is saying her depression is 'under control', do you see something different? If so let her know...
2007-02-05 14:39:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you really care about this girl you would talk to her about it. If worse comes to worse, even tell your own parents so that they can help both of you with it. I know someone who has depression and without the support of friends and family espicially i really don't think she would be here any more. And if she were to stop taking her medicine I don't even want to think about what would happen. So try your best to support her and help her the best that you can. Hope that helps!
2007-02-12 21:45:35 · answer #5 · answered by *Dancer 4 ever* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
rather than concentrating on killing ur feelings for her concentrate on how u can help her.is it necessary to tell her that the person she is meeting is a counsellor????many counsellors and therapists today accept such cases wherein they meet the client informally.try that out.dont tell anyone but the therapist about her problem.
2007-02-13 07:37:54 · answer #6 · answered by gary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL SOMEONE if you dont your friend could seriously hurt herself i had a friend like that and i told someone and my friend was mad at me for it but if something bad had happened to her i would have been mad at myself for not trying to stop it
2007-02-05 15:13:40 · answer #7 · answered by welcome to forever 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Contact me at gautamada@yahoo.com. I'll tell you things that copyrighted to myself. :)
2007-02-13 09:43:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋