he says why ruin a good thing its only a peice of paper
2007-02-05 05:48:25 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can not believe you are asking this question. You have been with this man for 14 years. Every day, every hour, every second that he does not marry you he's telling you NO.
Do you need him to be blunt? He does not want to and will not marry you. No matter how beautiful you are, how good of a woman you are, or how many children you've had with him. Your feelings dont matter and what you want is unimportant.
Look, I know you women want to strategize, fight, and haggle with these men over marriage like its some kind of prize, but you cant win them all. And right now you're playing a losing game. This one's not marrying you. Try another guy.
2007-02-05 06:01:09 · answer #1 · answered by mine2006aug 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's full of it, but you chose him and have put up with him. The "piece of paper" doesn't have the magical power to ruin anything, just as it can't make anything better. If it WAS "only a piece of paper" to him, then there wouldn't be a problem getting one just to make you happy. Obviously, it has a meaning to him, and this meaning is a negative one. Unfortunately, he has an "upper hand" on you - there's nothing at all you can do to *make* him marry you. Your two choices are 1) accept that marriage will never be a part of your relationship, come to peace with it, and continue as before; or 2) leave him, and look for a man whos idea of having a family matches yours more closely. There is no 3) He magically changes his mind and decides he wants to marry you, after all. Ain't gonna happen.
2007-02-05 06:06:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it isn't just a piece of paper...it has many benefits to being married. I think after 14 years if he still isn't willing to get that "paper" then he never will. Depending on circumstances I think about 4 years is long enough. At least that is all I would be willing to wait. Probably not even that long--just for myself though.
If you want marriage and he isn't willing to give it--then leave. After 14 years it would be hard to just leave though. That is definately a hard question to answer for you...sorry I don't have any magical words to tell you. :(
2007-02-05 05:53:46 · answer #3 · answered by intewonfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would it be ruined. If he loved you he would want to make you happy and if marriage would make you happy. He should do it. Maybe you should give him an ultimatum and then tell him why ruin a good thing by not getting married and then leave. If he loves you, you'll be married soon.
You're not getting any younger.
2007-02-05 05:52:23 · answer #4 · answered by confuzed 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you should have acted on it 10 years earlier. You can force the issue. Depending on your and his age, he is probably still very marketable and you are not. Harder to extract money out of him in divorce if you are not married-- need a good lawyer. So if you are ready to walk away without considering the above, by all means.
2007-02-05 06:09:16 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems as though he's looking for an easy out should the opportunity arise in the future.
Give him that previously suggested ultimatum and let him stew over it awhile.
Good luck...
2007-02-05 05:55:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls one more example of why you don't give it up to a boy for free. After 14 years this one wants her boy to grow up and be a man. Figure the odds.
2007-02-05 06:04:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to be the one who tells you but if he hasn't ask you to marry him after 14 YRS. he WON'T.
2007-02-05 06:12:09 · answer #8 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This was on Dr. Phil, you need to tell him that he needs to make up his mind because you cant sit around waiting forever for him.
2007-02-05 05:51:59 · answer #9 · answered by mps810 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if its so good, then why doesn't he make it permanent? give him an ultimatum, marry or move on
2007-02-05 05:53:30 · answer #10 · answered by christine z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋