I am married to a 27 year old and since we got married, his sexual desire has decreased consistently. We used to have sex 4 to 8 times a week before. Sometimes more than once in the same day. Now, he does not feel like doing it. He does not even want to kiss or dance or anything that might bring some sensuality to the atmosphere. I have tried all sorts of things to excite him, but it wont work. Is this something that happens to men when they get married, is it me, or is it that he just doesn't feel atracted to me anymore?
2007-02-05 05:45:41 · 35 answers · asked by jeff 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is not normal. I'm sure when he wants it you are expected to give it. So reverse the situation and tell him you need it. It is each partners responsibility to provide sex to the other (some people will over do it). You should help reduce his stress and have him see a Dr. If this won't help something else is up!
2007-02-05 06:01:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, after 23 years of marriage I can tell you that intimacy isn't a regularly scheduled program, even in the beginning of a marriage. I don't think it has anything to do with you. Maybe your husband has certain worries that he cannot share. Try and find out. Job, money and such problems can really hurt any relationship. On the average having sex once or twice a week is the norm for married couples. When you're dating, it's all about having fun. Being married means that now you have other responsibilities as well that need tending to. It's still fun, just different. Sex isn't the only way to show you love someone. Dont' pressure your husband. Love him and be understanding and try to get him to open up why he is withdrawing.
2007-02-05 05:51:56 · answer #2 · answered by VW 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not a married man, but i feel like if you want to spice up and add some more sex to your life, it is important that the two of you sit down one evening and just talk and find out what the problem is from him. It could be stress from the job or other things. If you're married and you're young, i say GET IT WHILE YOU CAN! Once you hit a certain age, it's sandbag city for everything! Is making love 2x a month a normal frequency for a recently married couple? I don't think so. It all depends on the two parties' sex drive. If yours is high and his is low (or vice versa) then communication and trust must come into play. After you talk to him, let him know what you desire from that standpoint. If he agrees with you, then take steps to spice it up and happy lovemaking! But if he is withholding from you just to be doing it (selfish reasons, maybe), then i hate to say it, but you may have to find somebody else. Sex is like breathing (Sex is breatthing!), everybody needs it in order to survive and be happy.
2007-02-05 05:56:16 · answer #3 · answered by Nate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel alone. Before you got married the sex was a way of connecting and feeling together. He's married and there is that feeling of safe and secure. Most men want that. The decress in amount is something that happens. We went from 5-7 times a week to 1-2 if lucky, some weeks not at all. Talk to him. See if you can set up a date nite. Go dancing, dinner, a movie, etc... make it a night all about just the two of you. If he wasn't attracted to you he wouldn't of said "I do", it has just changed some. Try talking to him see if you can find a middle ground.
2007-02-05 05:51:54 · answer #4 · answered by misstigeress 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell no. Whats wrong with this guy. I would be on top of you right now if I was married to you ( I use that only if I knew you and we were actually married). There is something wrong with him. I can guess but my guesses are just that and not fact. Either is is seeing someone else, he has a problem you do not know about, drugs, or he may not be into you anymore. Do find out what it is fast. If this behavior doesn't not change, I would look at getting an annulment or divorcing him before there are any kids. Good luck
2007-02-05 05:55:05 · answer #5 · answered by cowboybronco01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe u should have a talk with him and let him know how u feel. I don't think this is normal. Y should the sex die out in a relationship when people get married especially at that age. I think ur marriage is falling apart and u need 2 find out y. U have rights 2 know y he is being the way he is. GOOD LUCK
2007-02-05 05:54:36 · answer #6 · answered by Baby Gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 30-year-old husband and I have been married for 6 years. We still make love at least every other day. If we have a babysitter for the weekend it is twice a day. The first year we were married it was everyday, if not twice everyday.
There may be another issue or problem w/ your husband. Perhaps he has a medical problem or he is adjusting differently. Talk to him outside of the bedroom when he is in a decent mood. Maybe then you will be able to solve the problem together.
2007-02-05 05:51:53 · answer #7 · answered by Jen of Eve 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Babygirl, this could happen in any relationship. Everyone puts on what I call "the face". "The Face" is where everything is all good, they are saying the right things, spending every moment with you, etc. THEN reality sets in. Then you start to see the real person behind the "the face". Maybe it could be that he's tired from working or has something on his mind. You need to sit down and talk to your husband about what going on. That is the only way to find out the problem.
2007-02-05 06:25:04 · answer #8 · answered by dwanal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The dramatic drop in frequency, from 32 down to 2, alludes to a problem. Whether it's physical, mental, or otherwise. You need help. Tell him your concerns as if he were your brother. He needs to feel that you are not judging him and that his health and the health of your marriage is at stake. Beware that you might learn something that will be unsavory. If he is cheating on you, it will come out soon. Be ready with a response. Otherwise, take his hand and walk together to find some answers.
2007-02-05 05:57:42 · answer #9 · answered by emberstoashes_04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a serious talk, and be prepared for whatever might come out. Also be prepared for the fact that he might really not know what's going on.
I wouldn't particularly suggest trying to be sexier or seduce him unless he indicates he'd like that. While being kinky or dressing up or roleplaying would drive most men berserk with lust ... his drive isn't there. Something's going on. He's avoiding kissing etc because he's afraid it will lead to sex. I don't know why. Is he suffering performance anxiety? ED troubles?
2007-02-05 06:47:40 · answer #10 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋