I posted another question about my cheating husband, but a lot of you wanted to know why I took him back and why I havent left him for good. What do you do when he's broken you down over the last 4 years? What do you do when hes managed to control your every move and you feel like there is no escape? He's never hit me, he controls me in other ways, mainly emotionally. I have very low self esteem now and I dont feel like there is going to be anyone else for me if I leave him. How do I get past that and find the stength to move forward without him?
2007-02-05 05:18:30 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am broken down, I have no self esteem and for those of you who think I stay because he pays the bills a little insight, I am the bread winner, not him. I make all the money and pay all the bills.
2007-02-05 05:38:57 · update #1
Id like to add that I already feel dead inside, he moved me 500 miles away from everything I knew and alianated me from everyone I knew. I am alone here with no one. I write to you from my work computer because I am to afraid he will see everything if I do it from home, he checks everything I do on the internet at home.
2007-02-05 05:44:08 · update #2
You are not completely broken down! Or else you wouldn't be coming here for answers, you'd be caving in instead. You have alot of strength and courage, you've just allowed it to become buried. Now it's time to dig out!
If you feel like you don't have the strength to face him and tell him you're leaving, don't! Instead start planning it and don't let him know. See a lawyer and find out what's involved in filing for divorce. Start gathering up the paperwork you'll need, make copies of anything to do with your finances, etc.
Make plans to move back home, where you've got family & friends. You might think that they've abandoned you, but I'm sure they will be there for you. Don't be ashamed to contact them and let them know that you need their help and support. They'll be glad to have you back in their lives! Then as soon as you are able, just pack up and go. Leave a 'Dear John' letter behind, file for divorce on your way out of town.
Good Luck!
2007-02-05 16:47:37 · answer #1 · answered by Ruby V 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only person who can change your life is you, m'dear. If you want to spend the rest of your life miserable, you will. Changing your life is both difficult and risky. But, what else were we put here for? Take a chance! But, be sure and line up your support systems first, and understand that, once you make the decision to change your life, you must not go back. For awhile, your life might even get worse! But, you will be laying the groundwork to a life in which you make the decisions, not someone else!
2007-02-05 14:55:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know why they asked you why you took him back. I know
for a fact that you're not going anywhere and you never will unless he leaves you first or you have another man waiting for you.
Everyone knows that a woman's biggest accomplishment in life is being in a committed relationship with a man. Thats all women ever talk about. How horrible men are and how badly they want a man. Thats all they think about. Thats all they read about, romance novels and relationship books. Women are OBSESSED with men. If you dont believe me, look at the Lifetime Channel.
2007-02-05 13:32:16 · answer #3 · answered by mine2006aug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need strength you just need a coupld of jobs.
I doubt you are broken down, my suspicians are you would rather have a cheating husband then to have to go out and pay your own bills.
2007-02-05 13:24:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling and help for what he is doing to you.. You need to get out NOW and the sooner the better.... You will be much better without him trust me. You have to stop letting him control you like this... he is treating you like a robot and every time he pushes a button you do what he wants you to do. I want you to go to http://www.drphil.com and email him from there.. I want you to ask him for help and advice in this situation. You need to do what is right and i feel you will need help to do it!
2007-02-05 13:30:20 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must leave him or you will slowly die inwardly.There is life after divorce even with the kids.
2007-02-05 13:33:03 · answer #6 · answered by angelunawrs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please seek some help ,get away from this nut
2007-02-05 13:49:20 · answer #7 · answered by groverpawhurt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋