A friend of mine was married for 5 years and they did everything by the bible-no premarrital sex, no living together before marriage, the whole nine yards, they went to church all the time and were christians. Then one day his wife up and decides she wants a divorce-says she wasnt getting enough attention. He tried everything to get her to stay. Even went to marriage counseling. She wouldn't cooperate, she just wanted to leave. She paid for the divorce and did everything and he wouldn't sign the papers but he signed some papers thinking they were for financial purposes she said and they were actually divorce papers, so she tricked him. They have been divorce for 3 years now. He fills like he is living in sin the rest of his life now. He recently started dating a girl and seems to love her very much. I think she is an angel so to speak cuz he is finally startin to straighten his life back out for this new girl but he is still scared to death about the divorce and dating again.??????????
2007-02-05 05:06:57 · 33 answers · asked by heather 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is not a sin at all... She wanted out and according to the bible there is a verse that says if the unbeliving spouse wants out to let them go and that a brother or sister is not under bondage and longer... To me that means he is free to date again. He also should pray about it and seek Gods help in this issue too. He may also want to talk to his pastor too!
http://www.marriagetoday.org
2007-02-05 05:15:19 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that God wouldn't want him to be unhappy. Life is too short to worry about divorce, its not anyones fault that it didn't work out. I am not sure of the religion part, but if he is catholic he can get an anaulment and this may help him feel better. Would God really want this man to be unhappy? I don't think so, God always wants what is best for us and wants us to be happy and live our lives as good people, it sounds like he is already a good person and life is too short to be feeling like he will be judged by the master healer himself. Everything happens for a reason and sometimes the reasons are because He wants us to be happy with ourselves. Tell him to stop worrying, in the end we are all the same and just ask for forgiveness. Maybe the lesson here was for him to learn to be a good person even though bad things happen. Live his life be happy and enjoy what he has. God just wants him to be a good person and the bible is a guideline to help us be good people. Its not all cut and dried, we are all human and make mistakes, if we didn't there would be no such thing as forgiveness. Take care Heather
2007-02-12 04:49:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hasn't sinned, if anyone has it is the ex-wife. And to be honest she would have found out a way to make him sign the papers no matter what, he was in a lose-lose situation. Sure he is nervous about this new girl, he got burned real bad from his ex and a broken heart is the hardest thing to get over. He probably is scared of getting his heart thrown in his face again, which is completely understandable. The most important thing for him to remember is that all women aren't the same and nothing ventured nothing gained. He should just relax and go with the flow. Things between him and this new girl will work out if they are meant to be together. His ex wife is the sinner not him, best to pick up the pieces and keep hiking to bigger better things - or in this case women...
2007-02-05 05:24:43 · answer #3 · answered by shadows 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not very religious, but if you want my honest opinion, everything that happened between your friend and his wife was entirely and completely not his fault. It seems by what you wrote in the beginning that he was a loyal and faithful husband. What she did to him was horrible. She didn't even give him an explanation. Just decided one day she wanted out, and resisted anything he did to try to help. And then tricked him! Your friend tried everything, and was very wise to attempt counseling. But this girl just played him. And I'm sure she tore out his heart, threw it on the ground and stompted on it until it was in a million pieces.
Only an angel can repair such a broken heart, and I am happy that he found another women to love. Make sure you tell him that he didn't do anything wrong! He was a good husband, and tried to work out matters when his wife turned the table. He didn't want the divorce, tired to prevent it, and actually didn't even know he created it! Your friend should not have to feel like he is living in a sin for the rest of his life because of what one ***** did to him. Show him this message if you need to.
I hope this helped!
Good luck.
2007-02-12 11:08:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When God made the earth and put Adam on it he didn't like to see Adam alone so he put him to sleep and then took a part of him to make something for him and that was eve from the moment that Eve tempted Adam into sin our troubles started, it still does not change the fact that when the woman gets her way that we should live in sorrow for the rest of our lives...your friend was married for five years i was married for TEN years when my wife decided to take the final walk down the road i to am a very devoted Christian we had three of the most beautiful kids that you can imagine.. at first it was hard for me to except the sudden change of one day living in a full house and the next an empty one time heals all wounds i am now married again and the Lord has blessed me with more kids than i had before, one is from me the other four from HER previous life....Please put your trust in God he knows whats happening and he knows how to deal with these situations, never take your eyes from Him He never takes His eyes from you..... Good luck to your friend and God Bless Him for being so faithful all those years...ok
2007-02-05 05:37:42 · answer #5 · answered by Mike S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God is a forgiving God. He needs to move on with his life and be happy again. He cannot control what someone else did. She wanted the divorce, not him! Until the day comes that we meet the Lord, we will never know for sure how he feels about the decisions we make on a daily basis. The bible does say that He does not measure sin. Sin is sin. Whether you lie, divorce, or take someones life, they are the same in God's eyes. If you are truly sorry and want His forgiveness, He knows. He can see your heart!! He has already been forgiven by God, he just needs to forgive himself!
2007-02-05 05:19:29 · answer #6 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all. singing the papers without a notary, lawyer, or judge is not real. That's only on TV. Divorce papers are legal and binding papers and no one can walk up to you and say'' sign this.'' and you are divorce. 2nd. If he don't tell the truth about it then I would worry about God too.3rd. Have it ever dawn on you that the wife was really being mistreated, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors.4th. He don't have to sign the papers. Anybody and everybody is entitled to a divorce. He don't even have to show up to court and she can get her divorce granted. He have to be served the papers by a law enforcer and he have 30 days to answer. Other than that she was blessed with the divorce. He can't be that scared, he took the time to fall in love, he wasn't to worried about God then. Please!!!!!
2007-02-10 12:05:26 · answer #7 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God's word did not allow divorce of any kind at the beginning. Later it was allowed; Jesus said, because of the hard heartedness of men. Fornication was the only grounds for divorce WITH the partner who was wronged being unable to forgive. Also, you are not allowed to remarry, with the exception that if your passion for each other is so strong, then you are to remarry, so that you 2 are right in GOD's eyes.
And anyways, she got the d'vce. MOVE ON.
2007-02-12 04:31:18 · answer #8 · answered by BamCaliFlaVa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor guy...
But all-knowing, all-forgiving God will surely not punish him for signing those papers. You said it yourself...he was tricked! If there is any sinner here, it's the ex-wife.
Then again, God loves him enough to send him an angel in the form of this new girl he's dating.
So, tell him to go for it and dont let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch! So to say...
2007-02-11 19:38:37 · answer #9 · answered by snoringcouchprincess 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would advise him to go talk to his priest. Maybe an annulment can be done. She tricked him, so she wasn't honest. None of this was his fault, so if the church has a problem with this, then maybe it's time for your friend to re-think his religion. He could still be a very spiritual person in another church.
2007-02-12 03:26:14 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋