I live with Mom--she's 60, works full-time, and owns our childhood home. She has many friends, but is single since divorcing Dad in 1983 and says she's content to stay that way. I live there with my 16-year-old daughter, and have been there since 1997 when hubby took off.
I asked Mom: what if Mr. Right shows up and we get our own house, etc? Her answer, in all seriousness, "I'm moving in with you, of course."
I know she's taken care of me all these years, and I DO appreciate it, but if I leave-and-cleave, I DON'T want Momma along for the ride. She is fully capable of caring for herself, and was before I moved in. She admits she just "doesn't want to be alone." When she WAS alone, she had a series of bad boyfriends, and was living with one guy for over 15 years before I moved back home.
I'm afraid if I DO move out, she'll have another bad relationship, just so she doesn't have to be ALONE. She won't admit she has a problem and get help for it, and she feels that I "owe it to her" after she took care of me for so long.
Is it my responsibility to take care of my mother EMOTIONALLY? I'm 37, and I don't want to wait until Mom's gone to start seeking my own happiness.
2007-02-05 04:42:10 · 8 answers · asked by SapphireLounge213 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't think so. And it is selfish of her to think that. I call my mom everyday since she became a widow, to make sure if she's alright. Tell your mother, when the time comes, that you appreciate everything you've done for her, that you will be there for her if and when you can, but that is as much as you can offer. And she definately needs to get help and a life. If she gets a bad boyfriend, it's her problem, not yours. Just as you can choose what to do with your life, so can she. Best Wishes...
2007-02-05 04:56:09 · answer #1 · answered by onecrazypeach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably answered that way because she's close to you and your daughter. I bet she really didn't know what to say at the time, so she said what is most comfortable for her. The same situation exists in my family. The way it got broken was that my sister moved out with her husband, but stayed very close. One block away. Now my other has great access to the grandson that makes it all a little more comfortable. And now that sister #1 is out of the house my mother depends on all three of us girls evenly for things. It has taken a huge burden off of sister#1
2007-02-05 04:48:44 · answer #2 · answered by Honesty given here! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im 17 and i just moved out of my house a few months back after two weeks i was back at home withmy mom! She gave me life and without her i wouldn't be here i think everyone owes their parents their life and if she doesnt want ot be lonely i dont think there is anything wrong with her wanting to move in if oyu were to get married! Without her you wouldn't exist why wouldn't you owe her that much! It doesnt even compare with what seh did for you! I know that i owe my mom everything
2007-02-05 04:49:27 · answer #3 · answered by Lena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are to honor you mother and father, not become their slave. If the time comes when you find "Mr. Right", tell mom that you'll visit her but not live with her. Or warn "Mr. Right" about Mommy Dearest. Until then just smile and tell your mom, "I love you mom, we'll see".
2007-02-05 04:49:45 · answer #4 · answered by Cochran 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
salutations my answer is to be there for your mom as a friend without jeperdizing your own happyness, shes the mom... i have nothing else to type other than hope you do find someone wholl make you happy...
2007-02-05 05:08:16 · answer #5 · answered by gotmonkkeys 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to take her with you but you could get a house with a basement apartment and have her live in the apartment.
2007-02-05 04:46:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Your mom should not tie herself to you and you should not allow it. Good luck.
2007-02-05 04:45:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say SHE owes YOU... after all, you never asked her to be born!
2007-02-05 04:45:58 · answer #8 · answered by barefoot_always 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋