answer only if you have cheated on you wife/husband?

Question

why is it that married people go out and cheat on their spouse and try so hard not to get caught?and when the spouse becomes suspicious they lie about cheating.But they do not want out of their marriages.They try and say everything in the book to get you to believe that they are not cheating.Does this mean that they will leave the affair or what?Do all men/women that cheat still have love for the person that they married?

Answer 1

Well, women probably cheat because they need affection, or maybe have one night stands for sex, I can't tell you much about women, but I'll tell you about men.
Men cheat because it's in our genes to have sex with as many women as possible, that doesn't make it right, though. If you are married then you promised something to your wife, you
promised that you'll be faithful. If you can't keep that promise why getting married in the first place? Breaking those vows makes you a liar. It's pretty hard to see the big picture when you're in the situation of actually cheating, but anybody who is commited to someone should consider all the aspects and be truthful.

Answer 2

There is probably something else holding them there...children, family perceptions, "obligation". (I even know someone who stayed because the spouse was ill, but was online looking elsewhere!!!)

Remember, most people (especially men) don't like to admit they are wrong. If they married for the wrong reason (the only reason to marry should be being absolutely in love!!!), maybe they do not want to admit it. Saying they are unhappy or asking for a divorce does just that.

And, if they are lying even after you have proof, there is probably a great chance that the affair will not end. If the affair had ended, telling the truth would most likely increase the chances of a marriage surviving.

A small part of the population might just like the thrill...but I would think that many of those men/women are not having an affair with one person, rather "playing the field" a little more.

Whichever, I think that the faithful spouse needs to end the relationship. They are being played by their partner's lies and deception. One lie leads to another and another...Even if their spouse still says "I love you"...those are just words if actions speak otherwise. If someone is truly in love, cheating would never enter the picture.

Answer 3

I cheated on my wife with prostitutes. Why did I do this? Because I was an idiot. I'm a 34 year old guy now, and I started going to see hookers when I was about 29. I'd been made redundant from a job and though I found another job pretty quickly, I sort of went off the rails for a few weeks. The whole thing was linked to a specific trauma in my childhood that related to infidelity, but that in no way justifies what I did. Eventually I confessed all to my wife because it was eating me up inside and I asked her to leave me. She had no clue what I had been doing and she was a very caring person who loved me greatly. We also had a baby at that time. My idiocy resulted in a horrible divorce and I literally paid for my infidelity greatly. But for all the money I lost, there were two things I lost that had greater value: 1) my wife - she was a beautiful person who had no right to be betrayed in the way I did. Whilst thankfully we get on moderately well now, and it's taken a tremendous strength of character on her part to get to that position, I hurt her in the most profound way possible, which I pay for everyday in guilt and self-loathing. 2) my son - he is now 4 and I get to see him a couple of times a week, though I wish it was more. He is the be all and end all of my life and I love him SO much. And in a way that people that don't have kids to love won't understand, the biggest f***-up all of my idiocy has wrought, is that I don't get to see him like a normal father does. That is my definition of hell. Peace to all. Yours faithfully, Irreparably Damaged Goods

Answer 4

Spouses cheat for different reasons. Some do it because it's exciting, it's something new. Or because they're not sexually satisfied with their spouse, or maybe because they want to see if "they still got it". Some might be just lonely or even because they suspect that the other spouse is doing it. For some it's just a "fling". They find a one night stand that that's where it ends, in some situations it leads to getting into another relationship. I think the reason they lie is because they don't want to be embarrassed by showing the other spouse that they couldn't resist the temptation and doing the deed with someone else. Hope this helped.

Answer 5

Extramarital affairs are probably unique to each one involved in one. Does a spouse go outside of a marriage because he/she no longer loves the other spouse? If that is so why continue to live with someone you no longer care?
Affairs are more like a secret hobby, the spouse does it at their convenience and it is only for their enjoyment; perhaps like illegal gambling. Because when confronted that this hobby is becoming a problem he/she denies it. Like all compulsions, it does damage to all related to the person.

Answer 6

There are many reasons for it. You can be pushed into it, then have guilt for doing something so stupid. Married people lose some of the closeness they had in the beinging. They forget to talk. A very sad part is some married couples let love die.
Some will realize their mistakes and try to rebuild a relationship. It doesn't always work. Some coulpes stay together just for children.
I'm not sure this is what you wanted to know. I can only tell you some of what I know of.

Answer 7

if the perfect marriage existed. He would be in shape and love holding her hand everywhere they went that she suggested they go. She would wear lingerie under jeans and tee shirts and love sexually teasing him all day building to the night grand finale. Every relationship that has cheating in it is lacking in bed. So then how do we solve this problem. Talking about sex usually get the blood boiling and if you can't talk about it you certainly aren't any good at performing it. Cheater (I think) just want their share of what it is they need to survive. Ask him (or her) if your head is good enough for them have them help you hold/touch/ rub/ lick them better so that even as you are pleasing them you too are pleasing yourself with the effort to please. Sex is sex but making love is the sweet in whipped cream its the one thing that allows your mind to want your spouse forever and ever without a need to even look at another..... True love is when two people make the total commitment to give all they have and are to make their lover happy. And true love is the secret to life.

Answer 8

Men typically cheat because of opportunity combined with the need for conquest. Women cheat because they often are looking for something that they are not getting at home, like emotional support or understanding.

Answer 9

Sunshine, sweetie do not get sex confused with love, people cheat because of greed and lust for sex and adventure. Therefore, when married people cheat it is not because they have falling out of love or that they do not love their S/o it because they are greedy and lustfully and out of control a very human response. Can cheating be prevented? Probably not. Sex is not love, it never has or will be, sex is physical, love is emotional.

Answer 10

I cheated because I was in fear of looseing mmy life. I found a guy I knew who would help me and my kids get to a safe place.

I didn't love him. He didn't love me.