had a major traumatic event in their lives that they had never told you about? Like if it were someone you told almost everything to, and you found out they had this huge secret?
Please, I would like to know how you would feel and how you would react, not how you think I ought to.
2007-02-05 04:02:29 · 7 answers · asked by wonderer152 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If YOU were a friend you wouldn't ask that question, but you want to know how I would react, so:
I would understand that friends GIVE support.
Just because I may share openly without any trouble why would I think my friend is then obligated to share everything with me? She'll share this event when she feels like it. Maybe she'll never talk about it with me.
I wouldn't take it personally and I wouldn't start asking about her traumatic event.
Your first thought wasn't about "Oh my, how can I help her, what should I do that would be best for her? Should I ask about it or stay quiet or...?"
No, your first thought was about you and how you feel.
Geez.
2007-02-05 04:20:01 · answer #1 · answered by Avsky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be shocked but more importantly i would be there for them if they needed me. that is what friendship is all about. being there for one another in a time of need. depending on the level of trauma this person experienced i would feel really bad for them. i would do anything within my power to make sure that they overcame this and made sure they did what they could so this would never happen to them again. having a good friend makes all of the difference in most people. hope this helps. good luck.
2007-02-05 12:14:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it would depend what the trauma was. For example, if they had been molested as a child, I would think that they were either really ashamed or embarrassed. I would just let my friend know that I'm not going to judge or make fun of them and that I'm there if they need to talk.
2007-02-05 12:10:55 · answer #3 · answered by alcaraz64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally speaking, I would be deeply hurt, especially if this person were someone I had told very private things to. I experienced a situation similar to this one. I considered someone a very close friend (best friend) and while she was talking to me about someone, she referred to her as her best friend. I was devastated! It seems I had mistaken or misunderstood my status within her friendship realm. After this, I was selective about what I discussed with her, especially since she didn't return the same depth of feeling for me.
2007-02-05 12:25:22 · answer #4 · answered by Monique M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be hurt, but understanding. but think about it. if it is something that is really traumatic, it's hard to share with people. i had an event happen to me when i was young, and have a hard time trusting people b/c of it. i recently told my husband about it, and i've known him for about 8 years!
2007-02-05 12:16:10 · answer #5 · answered by Carrie H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only one I had was finding out my best friend was gay...We'd been friends for years, I asked him several times about it and he lied and denied it. Then he finally tells me...I just went, "OK", be safe and that was that. His friend ship mattered to me too much and I understood his reasons for keeping this from me for so long. It was not my place to judge him. There is no rule that says a friend has to tell you everything and not keep nothing from you.
2007-02-05 12:46:21 · answer #6 · answered by onecrazypeach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on what it was i guess, maybe she doesn't want to talk about it because it brings about bad memories, just be there for her there are some things one may not like talking about.
2007-02-05 12:21:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋