Is it wrong to like this guy with a girlfriend?

Question

I met this guy in my college class and we starting talking and then I really began to like him. We hung out and talked some more and then after I admitted that I liked him he said he felt the same about me. He has a girlfriend and they were fighting and I tried to help him, but I know that he really likes his gf and I don't want to ruin anything that the two of them have. So I quite talking to him for about a month. Recently, I went to a movie with him and I had the chance to flirt but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I am glad that we are friends, but he normally instant messages me first. I don't know what to do or where to go. I really like him but at the same time I don't want to hurt any relationship that he is in. Please give me some good advice that will help me. Thanks so much.

Answer 1

The best thing that you can do for yourself is to continue to be his friend. It is hard liking someone, especially when that person is already in a relationship. Continue to meet new people and mingle. You're doing the right thing by not coming in between your friend and his girlfriend. You can still continue to hang out with him and talk to him on the phone and stuff. You have the opportunity to get to know him as a person in general. There are plenty of guys out there that would love to go out with you. He will not be the only guy that you will like. I hope my advice helps. Good luck.

Answer 2

It's wrong if you are doing things behind this woman's back. It's foolish any way you look at it. You and he are doing couple-type things together, yet he is a part of a different couple. Stop the game.

Set some boundaries and let him know that you are setting some boundaries. If you want to be friends, then talk together at school or over lunch in a very public place (nothing resembling a romantic dinner). If you go to a movie, it needs to be with a group of friends and should probably include his girlfriend. Don't do anything that seems like dating.

Tell him that you don't want to interfere with his relationship with his girlfriend and that he needs to make her more of a priority (if you start dating him, won't you want to be more of a priority?). Don't let him talk to you about problems he and she are having (If you were dating him, would you want him to talk about your problems to another girl?) If he wants to pursue something more with you, he will have to break up with his girlfriend.

What you do, demonstrates the kind of person you are. If you don't set some boundaries now, you are showing him you are weak and that he can take advantage of you. Setting some boundaries makes you more worthy of respect.

Answer 3

Well I don't think there is anything wrong with liking someone who is in a relationship we are only human and can not controll how we feel about someone sometimes that just happens no matter how hard we try and not like someone. I've liked a guy before who is in a relationship and it sucks! Its hard to deal with because you know they have someone elese but you cant help that you like them soooo much. But you dont wanna hurt the person he is with right now because you would not want to feel that way if you where her it hurts to be cheated on. If he had not left her already he must really really like her and wanna be with her so I think staying away from him is a good idea for you maybe try and move on and get over him will be good too. Thats easier said then done I know but it can be done it just takes time is all. Maybe one day he won't be with her anymore and come to you but for now I'd say to stay away and try and move on more for your feelings then anything really. Good luck.

Answer 4

I would say move on. Sure he may have the same feelings towards you but he's still with his gf. I'd look over how things are going....he may be stringing you a lot to be his back up girl friend. In any case...move on, find someone else. You shouldn't have to wait for someone to leave his girlfriend to find love

Answer 5

*Rap rap rap* (That's me hitting you on the head.) Naughty girl! Do not flirt with other girls boyfriends. Go ahead and like him, be friendly, but do not try to "help" him. If he and his girlfriend are having problems, let them work it out. Chances are they will break up soon and then you can make your move. Good things come to those who wait. And if it's not him, believe me, there will be plenty of others. By the way, did you notice that he flirts with girls when things get bad with his girlfriends? Sounds kind of fluffy to me.

Answer 6

Move on and find someone who is not attached. If he breaks up with the g/f, and asks you out, and you are available, then you can start dating him. I think some of the biggest signs that a relationship is not right often stare us right in the face. The obvious: He's not available right now. If he is later, then so be it.

Answer 7

It's pretty simple really, you can't hang out with guys you're attracted to when they have a girlfriend. It's up to him to break it off with her in order to go out with you. Unfortunately a lot of guys are quite happy to play games and do both which isn't really fair for anyone. Good luck!

Answer 8

This is absolutely nothing wrong with liking someone with a girlfriend, it is your actions that makes it wrong. As long as you do not try to step over your boundaries and try to pursue anything, then it okay.

Answer 9

you're doing the right thing by avoiding his relationship, maybe he really likes you... i say keep doing what your doing, but don't get too close or you might get hurt... now if he breaks up with his girlfriend then thats a whole nother story.
good luck.

Answer 10

well, see how far him and his girlfriend go and if you really like him enough to risk the chance then it is his risk too. never give up hope, but don't pressure him to brake up because if he really likes his girlfriend then he has a choose. Who does he want?