I have been dating my boyfriend for about three months...he is in the military and wants me to move in with him..I would have to give up my apartment and move about 40km away from my family which is not huge I know but still it is a change. He will be going overseas for three trips of 57 days each for the next year and a bit which I understand completely its his work. However when he gets back from the first trip over he will be going to soccer regionals in Ontario, his friends will be down to visit from across the country so he will be busy with them for a couple of weeks then he will be going to visit his family for two weeks in BC at some point as he gets a free trip....I may not be able to go to BC cause $$ I just feel like if I uproot my life for him it will blow up in my face cause he will be away so much that we will become different people. We are in love now and I understand that he wants to see his family and friends and has work commitments but I am nervous about change!
2007-02-05 03:48:31 · 12 answers · asked by valleygal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The military really stresses that soldiers not make any big life changing decisions right before they deploy.
Talk to him, tell him how you feel and that you love him and want to be with him. It is completely understandable that you are nervous. You are thinking about yourself and your needs, which you should be doing.
You could find a way to compromise. If this is his first deployment, it is a big change for him too.
You have been dating for 3 months...you are just going to be coming out of the "perfect phase" of the relationship...
Please thank him for serving our country, and thank you for being an understanding and supportive girlfriend!
Good luck to the both of you and I hope that you can find a compromise!
2007-02-05 04:00:17 · answer #1 · answered by daisy31 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't move! Wait till he is back at home permently. There is no point in making all that change to sit in an empty apartment unless you won't have to pay for rent - then in that case you will have saved enough money to go with him on the trip to BC - but even that I still don't think you should move. You won't have a support system around for all those lonely nights and then you might start to resent the situation.
Being in the Military / with all that it implies should not make you feel guilty for not complying to his wishes
2007-02-05 11:58:21 · answer #2 · answered by prettymama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you should move in with him until both of your lives slow down a bit and you're more stable. I mean what's the point of moving in with him if he's going to be gone most of the time anyway?! Also, you've only been dating for 3 months and i think that you should give it more time than that. If it doesnt work out and you want to end up moving back home, you're gonna just have to pay more money for something that you could've avoided. So yea, for right now, I dont think that you should be moving in with him. If he's going to be gone most of the time, what is really the point then? You're going there to spend time with him not to babysit his apartment. I think that you should wait...
2007-02-05 12:07:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well all you can do is try. But if you get over there and it doesnt work out think about how difficult it would be for you to get back to your life the way it is now. Maybe you should wait a few more months to see how your relationship develops. Just visit him when you can.
2007-02-05 11:52:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should think about not moving in with him right now. Wait until things in his life are a little more settled. I would think it would be very awkward for you to move into his place and then spend all this time alone. Explain to him that you do want to move in with him (if you even do) but you just think that now might not be the best time.
2007-02-05 11:53:57 · answer #5 · answered by sharky1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like u r stressed as there is too much of a change than you want to handle. But at the same time don't want to give up your love. Talk to him openly and tell him that you would move if he is willing to take you wherever he goes. If you don't want to move to wherever he goes. Then stay where you are totally.
2007-02-05 11:53:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it.
He's got his life going on and he'll hardly see you. Just keep dating.
Be in love, date. Have fun. Why does everybody want to play house so early on?
You've known him only 3 months and you're thinking about living together?
There's no decision here. Think with your head not your hoo hoo.
2007-02-05 11:57:27 · answer #7 · answered by Avsky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know deep down what you want to do. It seems that you are quite hesitant to "uproot your life for him" and that is totally understandable I would feel the same way. The fact that you are hesitant suggests to me that you probably shouldn't do it.
Peace and Blessings!
2007-02-05 11:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by Amaya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then you need to let him know about it ! Military life is not for everybody! And big changes will make you nervous which is normal!
2007-02-05 11:52:45 · answer #9 · answered by silverearth1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and have an honest discussion about your fears. He may not understand your point of view if you do not explain it to him.
2007-02-05 11:51:51 · answer #10 · answered by BetsyLauren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋