what points should be taken into considerations? what are the common mistakes in finding and how do one avoid them?
2007-02-05 03:37:32 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It should be a person with whom you share a good list of common interests; someone who you just like "being" with. Look out for red flag phrases like "my friends & your friends," or "my money & your money."
It should be someone that has the capacity for compromise. If you can't work out small problems (and there will be many), you'll never work out the big ones.
It should be someone that understands forgiveness. You're human and you're both going to screw-up on occasion. The key is to learn from the mistake, forgive, grow, and move on. You never hold a person's mistakes over their head forever. That's just wrong.
It should be someone who respects you and that you respect as a person. Without respect, it'll never work.
Someone who understands that when it comes to certain personal preferences, no means no; it doesn't mean that maybe you can be talked into something that doesn't appeal to you.
How's that?
2007-02-05 04:09:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn I never would have thought that such specifics could go into something like marriage. In this day and age in any case --- you can't assume it'll be for life because you never know what's going to come your way. I think as far as marriage is concerned it should just be a love issue. Love gets you through the small things, the big things, the emotional things as well. So I guess depending on how strong the love for the person is a person should go with that.
2007-02-05 03:45:36 · answer #2 · answered by Jessie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself these questions: Do you love them and is that love returned in kind; do you respect them in ALL ways including their honesty, kindness, loyalty and ambition; when you are old and gray would you be happy to have shared a lifetime with this person; are your ideas and attitudes similar enough to agree on things such as children, child rearing, money matters, where to live, work ethics, and family issues, etc.; are you willing to compromise to resolve issues; are you willing to WORK at the relationship to make it successful? Answer all of these positively and you'll have a pretty good idea if you've found the right person and if YOU are ready to be married. I asked about love first because that is the foundation for all the other questions. Without ongoing love and loyalty you may have a marriage but it will not be a truly happy one.
2007-02-05 05:01:06 · answer #3 · answered by Charm m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that you and your partner are not together because you need each other financially, or any other convenience. You should both can live without each other, but want to be together. Also, in the long run, it is really important that your financial goals are same. Know his spending habits, and make sure he knows your spending habits. You can start arguments easily on this. Make sure you both know that you do or don't want children. Love is important, but all the other things are as important to say married. Remember, it's really easy to get married, but to say married is the harder part.
2007-02-05 04:06:26 · answer #4 · answered by Pluto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
-Do not rush into things.
-Do not make decisions based on need or desperation
- Do not think that having a baby will fix your relationship
-Do not believe that he will "change" or that you will be able to "fix him".
With that said:
- Find someone with common interests
- Your partner must be financilly secure
- Drug and addiction free
- Resposible, reliable and accountable
- Educated and well versed
- Without a criminal record
- Good credit
- Trustworthy and honest
- Physically and emotionally healthy
-Clean and well groomed
-Respectful and well mannered
-Has a stable job
-Great communication skills
- Find someone whose past you can live with.
It might get time, but is better to wait for something good than to date all the wrong men.
Good luck
2007-02-05 03:56:23 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is what I took into account when I got married...
-Our compatibility
-Our age difference (husband is 17 years older than me!)
-Whether we were on the same page in life
-His accountability with money (does he pay bills ontime?)
-His job stability (wasn't going to marry someone I had to support)
-Take into consideration of any exes he had and have children with
-Are you willing to be a step-parent?
-Morals
-Upbringing
-Look at his family...ie, parents and siblings and how they are are a big indicator of what he's likely to follow.
2007-02-05 03:51:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No marriage is perfect.
There are going to be arguments
these are just some that should be taken into consideration.
2007-02-05 03:42:18 · answer #7 · answered by The J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't choose my husband, we chose each other. I know that is why we have been married 20 years and still going strong!
2007-02-05 03:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Among many other things, I asked myself what faults can I live with for the rest of my life. Everyone has faults. You just have to decide if you are willing to let the faults go and live with them or not.
2007-02-05 03:41:14 · answer #9 · answered by babyj248 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A) BE THE CHOOSER NOT THE "CHOOSEE"!!
B) CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT BUT DON'T LOSE SIGHT OF THE WANTS/NEEDS AND DESIRES OF YOUR MATE
C) LONG ENGAGEMENTS ARE A MUST
D) BE AS FORGIVING OF YOUR MATE AS YOU WOULD WANT THEM TO BE OF YOU-THIS INCLUDES PAST LIFE, PAST DECISIONS,FAMILY,ETC.
E) BE PATIENT/BE HONEST/ BE TRUE
2007-02-05 03:45:28 · answer #10 · answered by boobird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋