I can't stop crying?

Question

I really don't understand this. I am not one who bottles up my emotions, I get out my frustrations by talking about them to friends and I try my hardest to face any problem I face.
Now, I've got this great boyfriend and we get into discussions. He tells me about something he doesn't like that I've done and I start crying. It's totally reasonable what he says and I should really just appologize and try not to do it again, but I just start crying. Or when I get upset with him I tell him what's wrong and we try to discuss it like civilized people, but I just end up crying and there's no discussion, just him defending himself and me crying like a baby. I really don't know what to do. I'm quite reasonable in my head when this happens. I know what I want to say back and I think it's stupid that I'm crying, but I just can't stop. I don't know what to do. I try relaxing, counting, and telling myself to stop, doesn't work. Help!

Answer 1

hun, been there done that. if i start crying, there is no talking, sounds just refuse to come out. so what my bf and i have done, is talk about it on-line. i can be balling my eyes out and still type, and it usually helps a lot. and now we've been together over 3 years and it doesnt happen as much any more. i guess it helped me finally get some words in my throat.

Answer 2

Albern,
You are just a highly emotional person. You feel things deeply and strongly and your emotions have a tendency to simply "take over". That's just the way some people are. You know, it's part of their innate personality. I would say to just "go with it" and if your boyfriend loves you, he will accept this part of you. On the other hand, I do have a suggestion that you haven't mentioned. Maybe when you feel the tears coming, you can think of something extremely funny that you've done, seen, or heard. The funny thoughts and the urge to laugh might just counteract your tears. I don't know, but it's worth a try, right? Anyway, good luck to you, girlfriend.

Answer 3

I think that you should take a step back and look at your relationship from an outsider's point of view. How does your boyfriend approach you about the things he doesn't like about you? Are these serious things or are they elements of your personality that make you who you are? If he is worried about you and is upset that you are abusing yourself through drugs or alcohol that is one thing. But if he is picking you apart to the point where you are on pins and needles trying to please him that is quite another. I had a boyfriend like that once. His personality completely overpowered mine. I was very outgoing and carefree before we got together but once we were together I became quiet and depressed and full of tears. If you are crying about his ridicule that could be your way of mourning over yet another part of your personality that he has killed or is trying to kill. Does he just pick you apart about things other people like, love or accept about you or is he upset because you have done something that has hurt him? Also, do you tell him things about himself that you don't like? Are they the same types of things he dislikes about you? If these things he is unhappy with are communication things like listening or interrupting it is good to work through them. If he is upset because you don't trust him or you seem too demanding on how he spends his time those are also valid things that need to be addressed. However, if he riducules your view on life, how loud or quiet you are, how you eat, your personal habits or lifestyle choices that is not OK. These things make up who you are and if he is going to love you he has to accept all of these things about you and love you completely. It is never a good thing to try to change someone into who you want them to be. If he is doing that he isn't good enough for you and you need someone you can have these intelligent conversations with who isn't going to complain about you and make you cry. If you are so into him and truly value his opinion you are probably so upset because he has found fault in you and crying is your way of letting out those emotions. It is OK to cry. What isn't OK is the dynamic I am detecting about this relationship. If he is complaining about things you do that are trivial like interrupting him, or something simple your tears could be a result of you being too attached or codependent on this man. Or, maybe your body has been going through some hormonal changes. Have you started taking any new birth control or other medications? All those things can make you more sensative. I hope this has helped. I could give you a better answer if I knew the types of things he was telling you he didn't like. Jsut remember to stay true to yourself. If this man is just trying to make you a bette peson that is one thing, but if he isn't repecting your own personal views and your character then you are better off without him. Never let a controlling man overshadow the woman that you are. If this is happening your body may be crying because it is trying to tell you something. To RUN!

Answer 4

My ex wife was like this when I first married her.

You are very sensitive and feel things very deeply.

Your husband should be grateful that you are being reasonable in the discussion and seeing his side of things also.

After a while instead of getting serious with her when something was wrong I tried to make a joke out it and tease her about it a little in playful and caring way. She caught on to what I was doing but because I was doing it in a funny caring way we'd end up just hugging with nobody getting upset.

Answer 5

Well it sounds like you cry because you are hurt deeply. I think you should think about this relationship and if it is giving you what you need. If it is always him telling you what's wrong with you and you crying, that doesn't sound too healthy. Remember that the relationship should make you both happy not just him. Be sure your emotional needs are being met, too and right now it sounds quite one sided. Don't apologize for crying....you are feeling your emotions and you cry for a reason. Be yourself and he should accept you as you are or he doesn't deserve you.

Answer 6

I used to be like that, maybe as a way to maipulate or make feel bad my hb, but then one day I realized I was being 'girlish' and now that i am grown up, should be able to talk and dialogue.. and instead of whising''' i wish i could stop crying, although i feel the knot in my throat, just ignore it and go to the 'dialogue' mode...
After I did it once, its really easy next times.. and a lot easier to argue or discuss difficult issues.

Another thing i identified is not to take ALL things personal, I do have my point of view, and it is as valid as his... so insetad of victimizing me, I defend it with property!!
OHH YESS!! Self improvement!!!

Answer 7

Looks like it is time to break up. Your heart is telling you he is hurting you and you need to listen to it. Once you end the relationship that is causing you so much pain the uncontrollable crying will stop. Good Luck!

Answer 8

You just want attention. Its very common for mal adjuated women of your age to get on these sites and pour out a load of crap to perfect strangers, who really don't give a rip, in an attempt to get attention. Get a life, will ya?

Answer 9

dump that ****, and get a guy who wont make u cry