i have been with my wife for five years now. married for only a year. from the first day i met her and she is over weight. she is not an elephant but not in the best shape. she tells me all the time she wants to lose weight but she is always eating junk food.and i never tell her any thing about her weight becasue i don't wanna heard her feeling but it buggs me alot.and some time iam just not happy when iam in public with her. i do love my wife but i want her to lose weight.
2007-02-05 02:47:44 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's good that you don't say anything to protect her feelings. You can, however, mention that it might be good for both of you to pay attention to your health..eat right, exercise. Do it together...ask her to join you. Make sure that you go grocery shopping together and make good food choices. As she begins to lose weight be highly supportive, tell her she's attractive, you're proud of her, she turns you on etc. etc. Positive reinforcement goes a long way.
Remember you cannot make her want to lose weight...she has to want to. Sometimes it's tough to get going...but once she starts to see results that will motivate her. You need to hold up your end of the bargain to.
Also...making a goal of some kind...a trip for just the two of you or buying something special. You could suggest putting the money you would have spent on junk food in a box or jar and then doing something special with it when you both reach your goals...stuff like that. Be creative.
2007-02-05 03:02:04 · answer #1 · answered by Misty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should (sensitively, and politely) make light of the fact that she says she wants to lose weight but then eats junk food and suggest that you all start an exercise regimen and begin making healthier diet choices TOGETHER. Tell her that you love her the way she is but that you noticed that it seems as though she is unhappy with herself because she complains about being overweight. Add that you want her to be healthier and happier and that you will join her in this new way of living to help her out.
I think that she needs to hear that she is contradicting herself by complaining about her weight and then eating junk food - maybe it will motivate her a little. You might make her mad...but she will get over it. Just be sweet and sensitive and word it so that she knows you love her no matter what but you want her to be happier and healthier - she can't be mad at you for that!
Good luck - I hope she finds some peace.
2007-02-05 11:24:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to her. Tell her that you know she's not happy with her weight and that you want to help her to be happy. Do not make this about you, because she will probably become resentful and hurt (I would). Do not be rude when talking to her about it, be supportive. Are you buying her any of this junk food she's eating? If yes, then stop buying it. By you not saying anything to her about it, she probably thinks you don't care and she's become complacent with being overweight. Ask her if she would want to join a gym! There are several different all-women gyms that she might want to join but thinks you won't be supportive of her going. Just be a loving and supportive husband.
2007-02-05 12:56:49 · answer #3 · answered by alcaraz64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you knew this about her prior to marriage. Either you accept her for what she is or try to change it without hurting her. It is very hard to change a person who does not want it. Maybe she thinks your OK with her. Why don't you ask her to join the gym with you. Tell her it will be your own thing to do together as a couple. My husband was the same way, I had three kids and got out of shape not fat. I was not ready to change but when I was going to the gym with him was like our little date every day just him and I, I am now in shape and we are both happy. Try it. Don't let her think shes the only one. It strengthened our marriage. And don't forget if you love her you must accept whatever she chooses to do and you must change your life to be happy.
2007-02-05 11:55:24 · answer #4 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is her weight so important to you? You married her because you her as the person and not her looks. So why fuss so much now? You should love her even more and if you really want her to loose some weight then her politely that you love her so much that you cannot see her suffer at a later stage because of her weight.
2007-02-05 10:57:28 · answer #5 · answered by angela_hsiung 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work on losing weight together - exercise or take walks together. Also, try not to buy junk food and suggest that she eat fruits or vegetables instead. It should help if you are with her in losing the weight and not just nagging her.
2007-02-05 10:55:16 · answer #6 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was overwieght when you met and married her so why does it bother you now? Try doing things with her to help her lose the weight like taking walks together and maybe you could cook occassionaly and make something healthy. The 2 of you are in this together so step up and partner with her in this problem. If it bothers you, you should be willing to do things to help her.
2007-02-05 10:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Offer to exercies with her and help her lose the weight... Go for walks with her... Why dont you go to http://www.southbeachdiet.com and check that out... This would be good for the both of you to ry together. Since she wants to lose the weight then support her through this and go shopping with her and buy her fruits and veggies and things like that instead of so much junk food.
2007-02-05 11:12:26 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both of you could go for walks, join a gym, take swing dance lessons, do a workout video together, go swimming, go hiking, biking, skating. Just do it together and then she will automatically get in better shape and lose weight and the two of you will have fun. its a good idea for both partners in a relationship to get as healthy as possible.
2007-02-05 10:51:59 · answer #9 · answered by martinmagini 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has to lose weight for herself, she can't do it for you, so it is good that you don't harp on her about it. Offer to go for a nice romantic walk after dinner, get some bicycles and go for a ride, lots of things to get her up and moving and you two can also spend time together.
2007-02-05 10:54:21 · answer #10 · answered by Jewel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋