I'm 23, my husband is 34, we have been married for 7 months and now we barely have sex 2 or 3 times a month.
I asked him if it bothers but he says he is just a quieter type of person, and having sex as often as twice a month is fine with him.
Can it be that he really does not need that much sex, or is it some hormonal or other type of problem? Should I insist that we talk to a doctor?
2007-02-05 01:53:20 · 24 answers · asked by Lilian 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
I'd call my doctor asap because that don't sound like a healthy marriage/relationship between the two of you. Two or three times a week would seem normal within your age, but maybe he feels pressured/uncomfortable because it sounds like you maybe the dominant one in the relationship and he may feel it's his roll to be in control.
Worst case scenario is he has cheated on you and he is feeling guilty. The two of you are newlyweds and should be all over each-other like flies on dog sh_t, making love in ever room of the house and even the car, yes that's right.
I hope this is not the case. (77)
2007-02-05 05:53:46 · answer #1 · answered by gretsch16pc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very low sex drive for a man of 34, and there may be a physical or emotional problem that could be solved. It is possible that he just doesn't want it much. I have a close friend (female) who tells me that her husband has a very low sex drive and something that helped her was having sex in the morning. For some reason it seemed as though her husband's sex drive was highest in the morning. Why not try putting the moves on him Saturday or Sunday morning when you both likely have free time, it can't hurt and most men love it when the woman makes the first move. Good Luck.
2007-02-09 16:23:48 · answer #2 · answered by Quest 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeez, this is a hard one. No pun intended.
I'm wondering how often it was in your first month or two of marriage..or even before marriage? Also, you can try a few things...maybe he needs to see your wild side? Try some new sexy outfits. Make sure he's not too tired from work, and seduce him. Candles, a good, but light dinner, foot massage with oil...sometimes you need to work a little harder to flick that switch. Maybe he's just tired from work and the hum-drums of life.
I don't believe any man will be a quieter type of person if you can show him how much fun you two can have...keep him guessing. Make more physical contact. Even holding hands and hugging is a great start. Climb into the shower with him and soap him up!
Another thing you can do is cuddle up to him in the morning when his flag is flying and see if you can make him sing "America the Beautiful".
Good luck!
If all that doesn't seem to work, I would try talking to a doctor.
2007-02-05 10:34:26 · answer #3 · answered by David S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yea there is a problem i am 34 my wife is 34 and we go about 3 to 4 times a week is he on any type of medicine for depression or blood pressure if not i don't know the problem but yes you should talk to a doctor i had a friend in the same situation and after this going on for a little over a year he finally went to the doctor and found out he was diabetic so i would insist on going to a doctor he may be embarrassed but doctors hear things like this all the time there immune to things like this so tell him there is nothing to be embarrassed about ......good luck
2007-02-05 10:06:02 · answer #4 · answered by cmann70726 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you cannot insist on anything it would be a bad thing he was being honest with you about the amount of sex a month is fine with him. Think about him and not yourself does he work alot? drink? drugs? there are factors which would slow him down. You cannot control him but you can control yourself. Go to him and ask him nicely tell him what your needs are but if he cannot fulfill them then you need to be ok with it. Love is unselfish you might be the one who needs a break in a few months. Don't make him solely responsible for your happiness. Sex is important but not so important you create drama over it. Know how beautiful you are without having someone crave you all the time.
Unless he is abusive then get out of the situation...
2007-02-12 04:21:41 · answer #5 · answered by kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May b its beacuse of the work pressure and all of this he gets tired and doesnt have any excitement left to have sex with you this also can b a probable case in my view u shud confront him on this if u want to have more sex with him though judjing by both ur ages having sex twice a month is quiet less and tht too u have been married jus for 7 months only i think there is some spark missing in him u try to seduce him talk sexily and play with him c porns together see if he gest excited or like tht and makes love with u if after all this things nothing comes out then go for soctor because generally men doesnt like to b consulted to a doctor and if u wud do it so soon he might get pissed off in this i wud like u to give it a lil time and try to know more out frm him of his behaviour and view point towards sex and plz you also try to some innovative sex which will plz him
my email id is
as_0917@yahoo.co.in
if u like my suggestion do give me a feed back on this waiting for ur reply
2007-02-12 08:48:25 · answer #6 · answered by as_0917 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anything is wrong with him. My wife and I often go 6-8 weeks without sex and probably average once a month. We would rather sleep. We are tired and sleep is more valuable (and fun). You should definitely try initiating the sex when you want it though. Put on some lingerie, provide oral sex spontaneously while he is watching the evening news or something...Let him catch you masturbating and ask him to help, etc....Spice it up, give him a situation he can't refuse. If this doesn't work...leave him alone and get a vibrator. He'll come out of it...
2007-02-05 12:05:38 · answer #7 · answered by aksteiger 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a problem! He should be jumping on you 24/7. Especially that you are younger. I was with a girl and we had sex about the same amount, the only way to solve the matter is to talk to him. I knew something was wrong with her and we talked about it. Doesn't matter that I am 20, the urge for sex is inevitable.
If he seems engulfed all the time like there is constantly something on his mind, it doesn't mean there is a problem between you to, maybe something has happened that he can't get off his mind.
2007-02-06 15:59:37 · answer #8 · answered by jimi_boris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men go through spells just as women do. He may be a little low on testosterone, tired, or he simply may be "slowing down" a bit. The aging process hits everyone in a different way, so it is difficult to know what is going on - just try having a loving and open discussion with him, and let him know that you are there for him no matter what, but you are concerned. Good luck!
2007-02-05 10:33:58 · answer #9 · answered by jawja_punkinpie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know. My husband is 33, he's the quiet type, and we have sex 4 or more times a week. I think he may be having some issues. BUT if you insist on doctors, he may get angry or depressed, and that will make it worse. Why not try initiating it more??
2007-02-05 10:04:25 · answer #10 · answered by Jessie P 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋