Threatening wife or husband Question?

Question

Ever live with a person who always seems to let you think they are going to leave you? They say stupid things like they’re on the verge of leaving and everything is bad. Nothing you do is good enough. Complain, complain, complain. My wife keeps saying crap like that and I don’t beat her, I’m not an alcoholic, and I don’t even go golfing without her and spend tons of time with her. She has a case of the negatives. Problem is I know that I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to her(a lot of people know this to but she’s good at playing the victim). Out of all the guys I know, nobody would put up with her demands. She’s gone through 3 fiances before I met her. I’ve told her hey if you can find someone better please do. She’s one of these women that is stuck on my husband isn’t good enough and I do love her and I am afraid she’ll leave. She stubborn so she’ll leave even though she knows I’m a good man and that she loves me. Even though I feel like I’m doing all these things for her, it feels like she doesn’t love me anymore and can’t stand being with me so she’s just picking me apart. Anybody else deal with someone like this? What did you do to get your spouse to realize how good they have it?

Answer 1

You both need marriage counseling.

Answer 2

You have done the best job a husband could ever do. (I wish my husband has done half the things you did for your wife)...anyway, she's not going to leave you, if she wanted to leave you she would have (I assume you guys been married a long time now).She always says you are not good enough and stuff like that because she knows how good you are to her and how much a better person you are and she is the one who is affraid that YOU will leave. She says she is leaving and she's not happy because if you attempt to leave her she will leave you first (she's the kind of woman with big pride and ego, I think).

I think you love her and I know she loves you.

Don't let her put you down like that. When she irritates you like when she says "you're not good enough" or anything like that, ask her what she wants, tell her you want to make her life better but you need her help to understand...etc

Finally, if she ever leaves you (which I think will never happen), don't worry, you'll be fine, you are a good man.

Good Luck, I hope you guys work it out soon.

Answer 3

My husband breaks up with me like every 6 months. It's so annoying. He moved out into a hotel last year. He lasted a week before he was begging to come back. I don't know what to do to get your wife to realize that you're not there to hurt her. She does need some counseling to deal with her past problems cuz they are getting in the way of her ability to progress in life.
Being a victim is en-grained into you. You can't just stop being one. However if she tried, she could get out of that mind set, but it ain't easy.

Answer 4

record those demands in case you may. on the least make notes on dates and the call for/risk he made. See in case you will get a witness or 2 who'll testify against him. There are each form of rules in comparison form of ingredient. the protection rigidity is even stricter. you will in all probability prefer to jot down his commanding officer a letter. that would desire to start an examine. as quickly as you have the information, report for a restraining order and the divorce on the comparable time.

Answer 5

YES
I have been there my EX-wife was there.
What I did was told her I am leaving for a while to sort things out to hopefully make things better for us. when i did she very hurtfully confessed to cheating on me several times. She was acting the same way your wife is. So why don't you try being the victim and saying you are leaving for a while and see what happens.
Good Luck

Answer 6

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As long as you counter her actions, she's in familiar territory. Don't try to win her. She's used to that. Show her love physically and mentally. Hold her when you say you love her. When she threatens to leave, don't argue. Just say, "I hope you don't. Because I love you. And I'd like to see us make it." And leave it at that. Ignore the threats.

After 3 fiances, she knows what she can expect from men. You have to change what she can expect from you.

She clearly has some trust issues. Time is the only trust builder. Don't try to buy it today with gifts or giving in to her every whim. She won't respect you for that either. She has to see you are different. She has to determine that you love her for no reasons other than honest care, affection, her inner beauty as well as outer, and for her good heart. And she has one. It's just very well guarded.

Give her a reason to let you in. And tread lightly.

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Answer 7

I left him - and THEN he realized. Too little, too late. You shouldn't waste your life trying to please this woman. Let her go see how the grass on the other side is so NOT green. The fact that she's "gone through 3 fiances" leads me to believe that she is in fact, a man-eater - and you're her next victim. Good Luck - you're gonna need it.

Answer 8

I left her Azz,and I recommend that you leave that thing that you´re with. Freedom is expensive,but you´ll come out a lot cheaper in the end.You don´t need a BIIAACH !

Answer 9

I finally told her I will not put up with verbal abuse. She has learned that because evertime she would stat it I would leave the house for awhile. When I got back she was fine.

Answer 10

Brake away for awhile. Stay at a friends house and reflect, then decide.

Answer 11

The first time anyone told me something like that, I'd put them out. I'd call their bluff and they'd know I'm not bluffing.