I can't decide what to do about my marriage and am terribly confused. To summarise and add to my previous question, 13 months ago I discovered my husband was cheating. At the time he was like a man possessed, so against me and marriage in general, feeling trapped and not wanting commitment. Then after 8 months of "talking" he left to live in his own place but comes back 3 to 4 days a week. We have a daughter who is now 17 and studying. He has told me that he has ended his affair and it could be true because he is now calm and we are talking again like man and wife. However, I don't know whether this is because he wants to string me along till he saves enough money to buy me out of our beautiful house because eventually I will not be able to manage it. He is 41 and I 54 so he has a longer future to look forward to than I have. I keep wondering whether this will fit in with our daughter leaving home for university etc. When we met he did lie about his age and motives. Married 19 years.
2007-02-05 00:22:55 · 10 answers · asked by jospinelli 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
im afraid you only have his word that his affair is over. why hasn't he moved back into the family home if you are getting on better and he seems back to 'normal'?
is he having a mid-life crysis? maybe the age differance is effecting him even tho not you.
he lied about things when you met? you've been together a very long time, be careful you don't get taken for a ride gf.
i don't think i could trust him 100 %.
2007-02-05 00:29:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they do become calmer when there is something they want, or they have worked out the problem in their minds. he can't make u leave until the daughter is out, he can't do anything yet, chances are he is just stringing u along, as if he had left the woman he would come back home to live. he seems to have an agenda here, would talk to an attorney about it, u may be entitled to the house depending on what the state laws are. he doesn't want the house sold in a divorce.
2007-02-05 08:32:53 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK this is the evil woman's side....you string him along. It is never easy to tell what a mans motives are especially in a situation like this. One thing is for sure he is not trust worthy, and it would be extremely difficult if not impossible to regain that trust. Trust is earned...not given. and once that trust has been violated it is too difficult to get back without the help of a marriage counselor, and they are costly. I wish you the best.
2007-02-05 08:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could you ever trust him again . No sweetie get a divorce. I know it will be hard but you need peace of mind more than you need a husband . and he had an affair and how could you ever trust him again . You would always be wondering where he is when he is say 10 minutes late . Nope dont drive yourself crazy . Just get a divorce and be happy . let him go and move on .
2007-02-05 08:52:50 · answer #4 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say anything about ya'll talking about getting back together and if he was on a lease where he lives but it all comes down to one thing. IF IN DOUBT DON"T. I would want to speak to his ex girlfriend or do some spying on him without his knowledge and see if he's on the up and up. Words can be cheap but the proof is what you need. No trust, let him prove himself to you. Before its all over with, you may NOT even want him back.
2007-02-05 09:45:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch out and only trust your instincts, not what he tells you if you fill you are about to lose the house, he must have let on because most people don't think about the house when they want to get back together. I think you are feeling some strong vibes and you need to be careful.
2007-02-05 08:36:00 · answer #6 · answered by livlafluv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to prove to you without a shadow of a doubt that he's changed into a better person. Until he can do that, you don't trust him as far as you could pick him up and throw him.
2007-02-05 08:43:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very slow to trust him again.
2007-02-05 08:27:39 · answer #8 · answered by Vinnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would trust this man like i would trust a viper!
2007-02-05 09:01:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO.
2007-02-05 08:29:06 · answer #10 · answered by bette69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋