Does your husband or wife do this?

Question

My wife gets upset and frustrated sometimes. Every once in awhile she blows up and says all kinds of nasty things out of frustration then the next day she’s fine. Sometimes what she says really bothers me and I was not raised to blow up out of frustration. The next day she can be really loving and say “forget about yesterday. It didn’t happen”. I mean she could say things like “you don’t love me. I want a divorce. You don’t care about me.” Then the next day say “I love you to death. I don’t know what I would do without you.” However in the back of my head I’m thinking OK this woman really wants a divorce. Do people like this says things they don’t mean out of hurt or anger and really not mean them? I doubt she’ll leave us but it’s like she can’t control what comes out of her mouth when she’s upset and then the next day she’s perfectly OK and wants me to hang all over her. I don’t know what to believe. Should I believe what comes out of her mouth when she’s upset or the sweet side of her? Anybody else married to someone like this? I don’t know sometimes whether to pack my bags or just ignore her when she gets like that.

Answer 1

People think they can talk to you like that, and then with just a simple apology, you're just supposed to forget it ever happened. Sorry, but it doesn't work that way! If you cut your arm off by accident, you don't grow a new one the next day, just because you did it by "accident". My advice is to, as much as possible, not let her words hurt you. If you take them to heart every time, you'll never be able to live with her. Good Luck!!

Answer 2

But first what did you do to renders such a fight or a provocation fm ur wife?

I do that too ... In fact it just happen. My reason though for being that is because I want to get my hubby 's attention. When a woman is that angry then maybe the spouse shld wonder how did she get this angry. Does anything that she complains or angry about had ever went unheard or unsolved? A repeating cycle ?? Coz mine do. I was totally totally hurt. The night before I would be thinking I really want to get out of this freaking life. What had I done to myself ??? But the next morning when everything cools down, I would be thinking back, giving up my family? Giving up all the life that I had built. Then the sweet memories come back and all the yell that was hurled is greatly regretted. BUT truth is though sweet talking is back I can assure you inside deep inside is a hurt and scar that is still open. Left un sewn .. Coz why? The root of it all had still been left unsaid. Ignorance is bliss I believe don't and can't exist in marriage.

Just one thing though that I am glad I can tell you this which I have not gotten from my hubby is that when that happen again all we need is that voice fm you to soothes us ... you are not letting your manly ego down ... we'll never see it like that but really it will really cool us down. That assurance voice cool voice of urs to cool down the hot red lava that burning inside. Hold her hand caress it kiss it with you can if that happen, I am sure magic will happen ...

Even if maybe your wife are in fact just having hormonal imbalances ...

Answer 3

I think that you must have an issue with respect from your wife. Theres no way your wife should be treating you like this.. One may have doubts in relationships but never doubts enough that are unhappy enough to leave that person or even want to live without. Especially if she voices them to you, without a thought of how this upsets you and puts doubts in your mind. Considering others feelings is a sign of respect and she obviously lacks that.
Bluntly speaking, what a b i t c h. no matter how confused a person is, in marriage it should be an equal balance and she is not treating you with enough respect.
And also a woman has two sides to her, the sweet and the emotional. Both, i feel, are true manifestations of ones character. Just at different maturity levels.

Answer 4

I WANT to say sth. As ur sis : I know u hurt when she s upset , why do nt explain 4 her that what r u feeling? Say her 4 example : I wish u could not be like this ,…..but I love u, I give up ….iranian people said everyone would be angry or s/he is upset maybe s/he need help , she had problem .so………. Maybe ur wife has pro. Wth sth or some body {or wth her job },….discussion plz before u judge ……
U know if she s in love wth u, she ll try change her behaviors ,like she can speak wth consult or social worker or sth like these .she can do yoga for concentrate & reform herself that u want .
By the way ,r u sure u r not cause of her upset ….I believe u need consult
Do u have tolerate when she s angry or …. U do sth worse

Sorry, if I had mistake in my text.goodluck

Answer 5

I was married to one of these types of women once. Anything could set her off on one of her ranting and raving lunatic episodes. I finally said she was either going to go see a counselor or doctor about this and do something about her behavior or i was outta there.

She did go see a doctor (psychiatrist) started counseling and medication but then only that can go so far to help a person control their behavior. She resorted to drinking, and the rants became even more violent and unpredictable.

After 5 years of it i finally packed my bags and left her and divorced.

Tell your wife to get into some counseling cause this behavior is totally unacceptable at any level. If she won't get help for this problem then if i were you i'd kick her butt out or leave her.

Answer 6

I am a physician and with a woman for 4 years. I had the same kind of thing happening. Even my medical training blinded me for awhile. Then it hit me. She was Clinically depressed. She started on an Antidepressants and is fine. Depression takes on many forms of symptoms. You do not mention age, so I can not factor that into the equation. Good Luck! Have her see a doctor for proper diagnosis. (There is an underlying mental illness I believe)

Answer 7

Yup...I do it to. And I don't mean a word of it. But it's the only way I can get the attention from my husband. Otherwise...he thinks whatever it is isn't important to me or he doesn't even respond to what I'm upset about. It's a shame that sometimes we have to resort to saying really mean things to get their attention. Not saying that's your case. But maybe next time try a different approach. How about in the middle of her rampage...just sit down and ask her to talk. Good luck.

Answer 8

Boy, she's moody. Yes, some people say terrible things out of anger or frustration, not realizing how damaging a few choice words can be. I would let her know that you find this unacceptable, and she needs to get a grip. My ex was explosive like this, and it got to the point where I just didn't want to deal with him and his instability anymore. It really drained me. I had to move on in self-preservation.

Answer 9

I will admit I am just like your wife. Sometimes my marriage seems boring and I say things just to get a reaction out of my husband. He is never in a bad mood and so I want to see some emotion from him. Some women are just natural drama queens. My husband has learned to just ignore me on those days when I scream all the time. Since I have been pregnant it has gotten worse too. I am sure she loves you, she just wants a reaction. Dont give her one, it never helps.

Sorry, you got a drama queen.

Answer 10

Ahem...Guilty. Only my husband is really frusterating. Like last week when he stayed out smoking crack all night. Yeah, I feel like he doesn't care about me and I took it very personally. However, hormones play a big part too, Like pms. I noticed that your last question has two choices. Ignore or leave. What about talking? Do you think there might be some unresolved issues that should be dealt with? I know I've got them cuz my husband does ignore me.