he was addopted through the diocean catholic society.i would love to no how he is doing? if he had a good life ect: i (in no way) want to disrupt his life. i am interested to no about him.i have tried numerous web sites. but cannot find anything. i have his surname first name that i gave him, d.o.b and a photo of him aged 1yr.which his addopted mum/dad gave me.ty. any help appreciated.
2007-02-04 22:47:19 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
look thru phone books.
police station
friendsreunited.
2007-02-04 22:49:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have the right to go looking for him now. You gave up that right 30 years ago. Of course you would disrupt his life how could you not !!
As someone who has been adopted my life would be turned upside down if my biological parents came to look for me - they have nothing to do with me except for the fact that he was a sperm doner and she was a surrogate, blood means nothing and that doesn't make me their daughter. The family that took me in and gave me the amazing life that I have now are the only family I need and I wouldn't dare look for my biological parents for the fact that to see their faces when I told them would be unbearable.
If the boy you gave birth to wanted to know who you were he would have gone looking a long time ago and you have no right to call him your son. If my biological family tried to get in touch with me I would be so angry how dare they give you away and then decide 'Oh I'm bored what can I do? I know why don't I see whats going on with that kid I didn't want 30 years ago'
That child doesn't deserve you to disrupt his life after all this time and I know I people may think I am being harsh but this is an opinion from somebody who is adopted and I don't think that anyone else who hasn't been has a right to comment.
Leave your son be. I'm sure he is happy and if he wasn't he would come to you - don't ruin his life just because of your curiosity its not fair.
2007-02-04 23:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to make an appointment with the Social Services to discuss this, as they will offer counselling and advice.
They will then look for the adoption papers (if possible) to give you a head start.
As the biological parent, only recently (due to changes in the law) have you been able to search for a child you gave away. The next process will be for you to agree to having your name put on a register. This register works on the principal that if the child is willing to respond to the entry placed on it then the process can move forward.
But you must discuss this procedure with a member from Social Services first.
2007-02-04 23:05:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait for him to contact you. You never know how much contacting him could distroy his life. His family may not have told him hes adopted and this is the case, can you imagine the mess you would cause by contacted him?
My boyfriend had his life turned upside down when he was 17. Whilst at his part time job, a girl rang him. He didn't know who she was but she told him she was his sister. As far as he was concerned , he had 3 younger brothers. That was it but no, turns out he had 2 sisters as well. So he told his dad and his dad had to sit and tell him the truth. His dad wasn't his real dad, his mum had been married for 6 years and then had my boyfriend. This put a strain on the relationship so his real dad walked out. They got divorced and his mum met the person who he knows as his dad. His biological dad re-married and had 2 daughters. His real dad told his family the truth, my boyfriends family however nevr told him the truth so it was a massive shock when his sister contacted him and it caused him such a mess. The person he knew as dad wasn't his real dad, he had 2 sisters he had never known about, and his 3 younger brothers were only his half brothers.
Can you imagine the mess you could cause if your son didn't know the truth? He would never forgive you. My boyfriend doesn't have anything to do with his sisters and real dad, as far as hes concerned, they dont exist.
You wouldn't want your son to think of you like that would you. Let him try to find you.
2007-02-04 22:59:31 · answer #4 · answered by Amy_Lou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not sure where you live but im pretty sure theres not a lot of help available in uk for the parent trying to find the child the other way round lots of options.i also gave a child up for adoption when i was very young i have like you a photo of her and her abbreviated birth certificate but was never told her "new" name.the adoption was also through the church and all i was told was she was going to a catholic family in another area i know the area but if they are still there who knows?.my whole life ive been curious but resigned myself to the fact that she needs to look for me the only wish i had was that she had a good life.i wish you all the luck in the world in finding him.
2007-02-04 23:06:51 · answer #5 · answered by smiler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Skinny,
I understand your feelings probably more than most answering this question,the diocesan catholic society would have details of his adoptive parents and would make the first approach, but do not expect anything...... leave messages on Missing you UK
I found it very useful, my daughter contacted me..... leave a trail to your door.... but do not push.. ....for yours and your son's sake
you will never fully be his parent......but to let him know you loved him and why you had him adopted would be the greatest gift you could give........but please do this for Him not you.......the hole in our hearts still remains the same, and our love does not get any less
For all those who do not understand .........30 years ago unmarried mothers were forced emotionaly to have their children adopted........think on Peace and happiness to you and yours
2007-02-08 01:43:56 · answer #6 · answered by sylvie c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let him find you, hes probably really happy without you. You gave him away, you gave him up so leave him be. you'll only disrupt his life. i dont think you have a right to make any contact or even attempt to find him. You gave him up when he was at his innocence so his family are his real family.
2007-02-04 22:58:38 · answer #7 · answered by ToffeeCake 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
On one of the legitamite talk shows, I think, Dr. Phil, they had a guy on that has written a book about how to find people. He claims you can find anyone. It is at the library. I would go to drphil.com and email him for the name of the author and book. That might help.
2007-02-04 22:52:55 · answer #8 · answered by towanda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not try putting a ad in a paper or try the registry office i dont know if they tell you anything but if they do they might be able to tell you if he has got married and find details from that i hope you find him good luck with your search
2007-02-04 22:55:18 · answer #9 · answered by missaskalot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out classmates.com inmate locaters in that state and if you can afford it public records mititary marraige etc and Good Luck
2007-02-04 22:54:48 · answer #10 · answered by faldam2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should wait for him to search for you,i'm sure he's been well brought up and is getting on fine with his life.
2007-02-04 22:52:13 · answer #11 · answered by heebygeeby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋