I am in therapy with my boyfriend and I have never been attracted to a woman, but this woman therapist is so cute and smart and lovable and amazing. I would be happy when therapy is over in 3 months to just have her as a friend in my life someday, despite my slight sexual attraction for her...I know I am not alone here, I have read several posts on other sites about people falling in love with their therapists, but it is weird for me because I am and have always been a STRAIGHT gal, but this chick really has my heart. Not for some fling, but like for more. My man nor her has any idea I have these feelings and I don't even know if I should say anything to anyone. I am sure nothing will come out of it, she is probably straight too anyhow. The last thing I want to do is quit therapy as she is really helping my man and I, but how does one deal with these feelings?? It's insane and weird but kind of hot. Is this good or bad I wonder, learning about myself this way???
2007-02-04 22:16:50 · 7 answers · asked by NYchickenGal 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It's not good or bad. But it's pretty common. You're working very closely with a person and you're sharing an awful lot of yourself. That can create a feeling of closeness that could sometimes turn into attraction for the client. If it were individual therapy I'd suggest telling her because that's something the two of you would have to figure out in order to make the therapy work.
But since you're in couples therapy it's a little iffy because bringing that up might undo the hard work you and your bf?/husband? have already done. If you really care about the relationship you and your man have then just acknowledge the feelings for her for what they are and let them pass. Because from the way you wrote your question it sounds like you don't plan on leaving your man, right?
Whether you plan on leaving your man or not, a therapist cannot date or have a relationship with a current or former client. It is in violation of the code of ethics that they agree to when they become licensed. They can and will lose their license for doing something like that.
2007-02-04 22:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is common in therapist-client relationships - it's actually called "Transference" (It's a Freudian term, but still holds). It can happen when a client develops feelings for, or transfers feelings to, a therapist, or vice-versa (counter-transference). Your relationship gets close because you're sharing a lot with her, so it's not an uncommon occurance to develop an attraction.
It could be that because of your close relationship you're developing feelings for her. Or, she's become something of a 'catalyst' for an attraction to women, and you're starting to realize this could be a possibility. It's okay to be curious and questioning, that's normal. If you have a friend you really trust, see if you can talk to someone about it. Figure out if this is an attraction to your therapist because of who she is (why do you like her?), or if you feel emotionally/physically attracted to women generally (could these feelings extend to all women?), or somewhere in-between those, etc.
Don't pressure yourself to figure out your emotions right away, or label yourself. It doesn't matter if you identify as straight and these feelings are coming at you all of a sudden - it happens. And it doesn't make you one thing or another; only YOU can determine who you are, because only you know how you feel. Don't focus on labels as much as listen to your own emotions.
If you feel like these feelings are getting in the way of your therapy (do you care what she thinks about you, are you trying to impress her, not being honest in your sessions,etc.), you might consider switching therapists. But if you start to figure out the root of your feelings, you may be able to work out what's going on without leaving your current therapist.
Good luck :D
2007-02-04 23:29:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Recognise that it is probably founded on the fact that your therapist is being kind and helping you both and that it is a crush you have on her.
Realising that you'll be better ble to cope with these feelings.
2007-02-04 22:58:27 · answer #3 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep. It happens. Try not to read to much into it. It is not that uncommon for a person to fall for their therapist. It's usually something that will pass.
2007-02-04 22:22:16 · answer #4 · answered by ebby 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Never with any of my shrinks but I have fallen for my lesbian doctor before.
2007-02-05 04:51:26 · answer #5 · answered by Scully 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds hot to me...try telling her abt it..mayb shes a bi...
2007-02-04 22:20:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
you are a potential lesbo
I dont like lesbos, gays
2007-02-04 22:23:39 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 5⤋