Help thinking of pregnancy?

Question

Im surrounded by people with babies or having them and although i laugh off the suggestion of me having one when asked, deep down i secretly long for the whole experience myself. I have been married for 4 years this year and my husband is wonderful we have a great life and are in a situation now where a baby would be great, the only thing is im so scared of having a baby, the pain the changes in my body! etc i want to experience that, but i dont like the sound of it, if you know what i mean im so confused, i know this is probaly natural to feel apprehensive about chidbirth, all my friends have had there babies quite quickly with not any probs but i know i will be the odd one out! But i know if i carry on like this the years will pass and we will remain childless!! has anyone else felt like this? plus i think if we have a baby my mother in law will probaly take off with it and pass it off as her own (grabber grannie syndrome) but thats another story!!

Answer 1

I was scared of the whole labor experience--but it was definitely worth it. Your friends may have had no problems, but they did experience some discomfort--we all do. However, I can tell you I have lots of anxiety and fear of pain, and a low pain tolerance--and I just had a baby three weeks ago (and I definitely would have more). I did not have any drugs to kill the pain (my labor just went too quickly) and I got through it just fine. When you are in labor you have no time to think of the pain--you just get through it and you would be amazed at how you can cope. And yes, it's completely natural to feel that way about childbirth--but think of the reward you are getting when you are done. You will have changes in your body, but they do go away after you give birth. As far as your mother-in-law, she legally cannot take your baby away from you. I would go for the experience--you will NOT regret it. It is the most amazing and rewarding experience. Good luck!!

Answer 2

if everyone worried about wether to have a baby or not most would talk themselves out of it. But its the most natural thing a woman can do and if you are in a healthy, supportive, solid relationship and feel mentally and physically well enough to cope with whatever life throws at you together then do it.
There will always be people better off, worse off but you have to be sure its right for you 2.
Forget the nanny syndrome, thats what grandparents are for and be thankful that you have a circle of family and freinds, others dont have the luxury of help.
Having a baby is hard work , the pain is forgotten as soon as you hold the baby. People are doing it daily and survive.......
good luck and i hope that you come to a decision you are both happy with.....
i have a 3yr old and trying for another. my life was complete with my husband b4 she came along. Well i thought it was, she brings sunshine into our lives when all we sometimes see are clouds.....
xx

Answer 3

perchance i'm no longer qualified to respond to this question yet as a sparkling mom-to-be (35 wks) i detect issues useful on the following, rather on the weekends even as something would have happend to me and that i will't see my accepted practitioner until eventually Monday so I come on the following and ask a question to work out if others have experienced it or no longer. often times merely listening to that others have lengthy gone by it positioned my ideas comfy so i will get by the weekend and ask my accepted practitioner at my next appointment. yet when you're on the following asking a question that merely a qualified health care provider should be answering and also you pay interest to the suggestion to procure, you have not got any human being responsible yet your self if something is going incorrect because you probably did not seek for medical interest. I also am no longer fortunate adequate to have human beings round me that are at present pregnant or were at present pregnant so I even don't have any human being really to consult about pregnancies and what to anticipate except for my mom and MIL and they did it 25 and 29 years in the past and issues have replaced extensively for the reason that then. perchance this isn't the position for you if it bothers you that a lot that persons except qualified medical doctors or pregnant woman or football mom's solutions questions revealed. P.S. There are medical doctors and nurses available that would have the e book knowledge/education yet have not in any respect had toddlers themselves so do they fairly understand what you're dealing with or went by? only a idea.

Answer 4

I think that alot of woman go through that same thing before they get pregnant. But once you get pregnant and you can start to feel the baby moving inside of you. You start to forget about all those fears and all you can think about is that beautiful baby that you created. I think that you should just get pregnant. If that is what you want so bad then have the baby of your dreams and the pain, the sickness, and all of the changes of the body are all well worth it in the end when you get to hold that beautiful baby. Best of luck.

Answer 5

first of all it would bve your baby and not your mothers in laws, if you didnt want her to have your baby to look after then that would be your choice. Pregnancy is a big thing for alot of woman and I know my wife found it hard to accept the changes to her body but you need to put things into prospective. If you really want a baby then you will need to accept that you will put on weight etc, however pregnancy doesnt meant that you need to put on stones and stones of extra weight. In all my wifes pregnancies she has gained 28lbs and then lost it within the first 3mths of the birth. Eating well and healthily will help alot in pregnancy as does light exercise such as walking and swimming. As for labour everyone has diffeent experiences but your midwife would explain all your options for pain relief to you and you could chose what felt best for you. Listening to your body is very helpful during labour, my wife finds that keeping movile and sitting on a birthing ball helps along with the use of a tens machine. I think that you having your own baby and holding him or her in your arms is enough to give you the green light to listen to your heart and have a baby. good luck

Answer 6

Hi there,
Yes, you're absolutely right when you say that you're not the first and only one who feels apprehensive and in doubts about having a baby.

For one, having a baby isn't like getting a soft toy. You're committed to a life-time commitment of taking care of the baby, who WILL outgrow his/ her baby cuteness, not the mention the many responsibilities of a parent in nurturing a new life, and all the other things that come with parenthood, e.g. loss of more personal space and time, not being able to place yourself in the priority seat for extended periods of time, tighter family financial budgeting, schooling, future plans, additional household chores, etc.

But I CAN assure you that your mother in law will not run away with your baby. At most, in laws can in fact be valuable people who can help babysit your child for you, so that you can have a much needed rest sometimes, or spend that restful time just connecting with your hubby again.

And yes, pregnancy and childbirth do affect a woman's body in certain ways.....stretch marks, muscle loosening despite vigorous exercises, weight gains, saggier breasts, etc. But as most mothers will tell you....these are what being a mother is all about.......and much much more positive things that happen with having a child.....such as finally being responsible for another human being, which can indeed be highly rewarding. Also, many mothers have reported feeling more contented and happier with life in general, having a fuller sense of fulfilment and self-achievement. Many also report better relationships with husbands and being able to relate better and with more empathy with others.

So yes....I feel that your concerns are completely valid and relevant ones. Do sit down and have a good talk about them with all the people concerned....i.e. your hubby, your inlaws, your gynae, your friends who've got children. Perhaps at this moment, you're also worried about what may happen with your career, which you've fought hard for, after the birth of your child? In that case, you can have a good talk about your concerns (career advancement, maternity and childcare leaves, childcare incentives, etc) with your employer. Most companies do in fact have fantastic incentives for parents, with some even setting up childcare facilities for their employees.

As for the pains of birth, please do not worry. Medical advancements are excellent this century. You can always opt for an epidural anaesthesia for normal vaginal deliveries, so that you can be relieved of most of the birthing pains while witnessing the joyful moment of the birth of your baby. Other equally excellent birthing options can be discussed with your gynae, your midwife, and the hospital you've chosen for the delivery itself.

I wish you luck and peace of mind soon!

Answer 7

Soundslike you have the perfect situation to be bringing a child into this world....But i would not be scared about having a baby it a glorious part of a womans life.Its what you were born for,I have to say this as i am trying to concieve aswell although this would be my nineth......I love em......And as for the mother in law she will have to go play grab a grannie elsewhere...Have one or two and then ask her to babysit............Good luck.......

Answer 8

i wont lie being pregnant is one of the best things in life.yes you have your ups and downs but hey that's life. when your in labour its usually very hard but when they say 'Theres the baby's head' you cant speak you have a lump in your through and that very special minute when your handed your baby in your hands then wow what a feeling.your husband will of said through the pregnancy 'yeah I'm a bloke i wont cry' but her guess what 99% of them do.what a feeling. u sound like you would make a great mummy and daddy. go for it girl

Answer 9

Hi - I think if youre thinking of the downsides, without them being outweighed by the good, then youre not ready. Until you can see the whole journey of conception through to birth and beyond as a wonderful, fascinating thing, instead of scarey etc, then youre not going to be ready. :O) xx

Answer 10

Just feel comfort with all the things happens in ur surronding ok
Then go to a doctor he can tell u very thing.

OK be nice