But no matter how much I think about it, I cannot feel guilty. I love my wife but I just cannot leave the other lady alone. She is married to and only wants some on the side. I have been doing some work at her house over the last few months (Appliance Repair) and she keeps ringing for me to go back. I am trying to stop, but I cant. I am getting paid for a couple of hours of fun once a month.
Is it normal?
2007-02-04 21:27:09 · 27 answers · asked by I'm In Love With Delicious 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you've cheated on your wife.
wow...that oughtta make headline news. not!
Common, everyday, boring, not impressed, bfd...
next....
2007-02-06 09:08:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a feeling you may get burned one of these days. You should consider marriage counseling or a divorce since you obviously do not love your wife as much as you truly do. How would you feel if she cheated on you? Your "friend's" husband may soon find out & there is no telling what will happen to you. Not only are you destroying your marriage, you are also destroying another. I don't think what you are doing is normal or fair to your wife, do you? If you have no concern, then it's time for you to tell your wife and ask for a divorce. You've crossed the line.
2007-02-05 05:39:07 · answer #2 · answered by gone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel guilty then you don't love your wife, because if you did you wouldn't be able to sleep at night. You want the best of both worlds, the grass is greener..yadda, yadda, yadda. You need to make a decision. Wife or casual sex, because this situation won't last forever and will only get worse. Your 'lady friend' will start needing 'repairs' fortnightly, then weekly, then before you know it, she'll be calling you at home and telling your wife you're cheating on her. Who's paying you for your fun? Your lady friend? If so, does that make you feel proud....or cheap? No, this is not normal.Nor is it moral.
2007-02-05 05:36:19 · answer #3 · answered by cupcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then divorce the poor woman and let her go so she can find someone who truly loves her and will treat her the way she should be treated... You REALLY do not love your wife because if you did you would not be cheating or even want to cheat on her. You are using both of these women! Shame on you!!!! What are you a male prostitute and does your wife know about this? If not i hope she finds out soon so she can leave and divorce you. You know this is not normal you are just sick.
2007-02-05 05:59:46 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not normal and it's not right!!! You are cheating on your poor wife and yet you have the guts to say you still love her. Your married lover is a loose person and you have to be strong to say no to her, unless you yourself have no self-respect. I can tell you that this adultery of yours will get you in trouble and hurt a lot of innocent parties, eg. the wife and her husband, including children if there are any. You are such a weak person.....for once, do something that's right and think about your wife. Sex without love is empty and meaningless, no matter how good it is.
2007-02-05 05:54:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal for men to cheat. The problem, however, is not with men, it is with the institution of marriage. When you committed yourself to your wife with a legally binding agreement, you vowed to be with her solely. If you desire to be with other people, perhaps you should have considered a simple contract (complete with a clause that allowed you to be with other women) between you and your wife (kinda like the ones for same-sex marriages). If you and she have different ideals of what marriage is and of what fidelity is, then you have married the wrong person. You may love your wife, but obviously, because of your indiscretion, you do not love her in the way she believes her husband should. There are such things as "open relationships". Your wife does not seem to be a willing participant in one of those. Cut the b.s. out with the other woman or let your wife go so that she can get over you and find someone to love her the way she desires to be loved. If you can't bring the other woman home and share her with your wife then you are cheating. She deserves the chance to find a man who can be a husband to her. Im sure whatever you are being paid is not adequate compensation for your wife to share what she has been led to believe is exclusively hers. I hope the 1 I find has more tact than one such as yourself. Please free your wife from your lying ***.
2007-02-05 05:46:19 · answer #6 · answered by Kla A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not normal! I hate pple like u. How can u be happy. U re only a pros. How wd u feeel if ur wife did this 2 u? EVen if ur havin affair ull feel bad if ur wife cheats on u. Stop going to the other lady's house or divorce ur wife. Say sorry 2 ur wife n take her out. MAke her happy n abandon this other lady.
2007-02-05 05:49:01 · answer #7 · answered by Drools over home made food 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!! - This is the advice you need!
I would say that what you are doing is destructive (wether it is normal or not).
I admire your honesty to write about it and share it with everyone here but you really do need to stop what you are doing or leave your wife and lead the kind of lifestyle you want. Imagine if your wife was disrespecting you and mocking your marriage by having a daily affair with a hot hunky builder? - you would go nuts and you would leave her, so see it from another angle rather than just one. You are giving your powers away to your impulsive nature and that means that you are careless about what happens to you or your life.................................why are you beating yourself up?.
I have this theory that if we were badly treated as children or abused in anyway, then when life stops beating us up as adults, we somehow have this need to destroy what good we have in our lives and act as if we don't care about what happens to us. I would say that your behaviour has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself and can be traced back to your childhood. What I am reading isn't just about a man who is having an affair, but a man who is in the process of wanting to damage himself as well as his marriage for other very poignant reasons only you know the answers to but they do have a lot to with how you grew up!
I hope you can figure this out for yourself and I mean that very honestly because you deserve to happy and fulfilled and you are not at all. You don't have to have ruin and destruction as a normality because it something that feels familiar to you. You can have a lot more than this but only you can make that choice.
Good luck.
2007-02-05 06:17:55 · answer #8 · answered by Shikira-trudi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you love your wife, but if you just cannot seem to feel guilty, then maybe you arent IN LOVE with your wife anymore or you feel something is missing in your relationship and your seeking that out with this new woman. Maybe you do not feel guilty because something has happened in your relationship with your wife that you feel justified in cheating on her. (ex. she does not give you as much attention as she used to, she cheated on you..)
It is normal to feel this way, however, that does not mean it is right. You are married to your wife and have made a commitment to be loyal to her. You need to make a change now. You need to decide whether your wife means enough to you to give her your full commitment and loyalty. If so, never ever see this woman again, not even to do repairs. You just need to end it.
If you cannot do it, well then maybe you should divorce your wife. She does not deserve to be treated this way. If you decide you do want to stay with your wife, from now on, be EXTRA CAREFUL to never ever do something like this or be dishonest towards her in any way.
However, I also do not think you should tell her what happened. You made a mistake, you screwed up, **** happens. But she will probably never be able to forgive you and it will ruin your relationship. You will have to deal with the guilt about it forever (if the guilt ever hits you that is) but you do not need to make her feel horrible about it as well. Just commit yourself to being an amazing husband from now on.
2007-02-05 05:37:23 · answer #9 · answered by Aayshalak 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you dont feel guilty may mean that you dont love your wife even if you say so.Why cant you leave the other woman.Is it her money or you love her.it appears your relationship with her has no future and you may end up being hurt.She ends with just paying you but on your part you cant leave her.She can easly hire another person for the sex and pay him off.What do you want, frienship or money .Are you willing to do it at the expesnse of your marriage.it might appear to be fun but will not be so when your wife finds out.Are you willing to hurt her for a few moments of fun without love when she loves you and you aslo do.
2007-02-05 05:37:56 · answer #10 · answered by jus-tus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not normal and if that's how you feel then you need to divorce your wife because it is not right for you to lead your wife on when you are doing this to her.. especially if you can't leave the lady alone and don't even feel guilty about it.
2007-02-05 05:31:00 · answer #11 · answered by jasmyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋