Okay we can say this in a positive way he is a good listener and I'm a good speaker. But the way Iam, I like to hear thinks in a very particular precise way.
My husband and I get into the most rediculous misunderstandings. He usually says opposite of what he means. I reiterate what I think he said and he gets defensive and restates it 5 times in a row until he gives up. I want to try and understand him but he just gets so frustrated. We wind up in an arguement and throw our hand up.
2007-02-04 21:00:48 · 5 answers · asked by woptie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are missing two ingredients in your relationship namely LOVE AND RESPECT. When those return in your relationship you will be amazed at the difference it makes. You see the bible commands men to love their wives and commands wives to RESPECT their husbands, not be critical and bitchy and sassy with them. By doing this you avoid the crazy cycle, but choose not to and everything goes wrong. He says one thing she yells back and the pendulum swings madly in both directions reaping havoc. All hell breaks loose.
SO what can you do to stop this madness, respect him UNCONDITIONALLY and he in return will slowly begin to love you UNCONDITIONALLY.
THere is an excellent book on the market called LOVE AND RESPECT by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and I can really highly recommentd this to you. This book saved my marriage and a lot of other marriages and I know it can yours too.
When you choose to change your attitude towards your husband, he will soften towards you too. Its all a matter of overriding our feelings and emotions and choosing to do what is right. THen doing what we have chose. It takes commitment and
lots of practise. Now its up to you to choose! No one but you can do that!
2007-02-04 21:12:05 · answer #1 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First you are a very Good person because you know what ails you. It is very difficult to accepts once mistakes and you have accepted on that you are bad listener.
Actually your husband is not bad communicator. Basically you did not give him time and space to explain. Please remember every one has right of opinion and right o differ.
Try learn the art of keeping quit.
When ever you people are talking take a glass of water and sip it ( do not drink it) till empty.
He will start speaking more when you start listing and you can do it because you have accepted the fact that you have a negative point. So go ahead and resolve it.
2007-02-05 05:17:39 · answer #2 · answered by Kamal K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Umm, men do not say the opposite of what they mean. You, as a self admitted bad listener, are likely trying to construct what you want to hear from what he said. if he says something, take him for what he said, not what you think it meant.
Read the book Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus. This gets into how men and women talk and listen differently. Men are very literal. If a woman says something, that is what she meant, even if that isn't what she meant. Women tend to try and analyze what was said, figuring out the "hidden" meaning, when mend tend to just say what is on their mind.
He gets frustrated because he likely said what he meant, and you are just not listening to what he is saying. it isn't his job to make sure he presents whatever he says in the exact format that you prefer.
You sound very unreasonable. You claim that you know you have a fault, but don't really seem interested in fixing the problem. The way you write, it makes it sound like "why can't he just do things the way I want him to".
If you do this long enough, he will likely be telling you he wants a divorce. But, you will probably not listen to that either, and try and convince him he is saying something else.
2007-02-05 13:06:15 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
what a pair you two make
how about going to counseling to help you two learn how to comunicate
2007-02-05 05:45:49 · answer #4 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you are being unreasonable.
2007-02-05 05:10:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋