Why is it more acceptable for girls to be bi than guys?

Question

About 8 out of ten situations the girl will reject their man for being bi, or simply not enter a relationship with a bi man. By the same token, hardly any men will reject their woman or woman they are dating for being bi. I think when it comes right down to the bare essentials, women are very homophobic when it comes to sleeping with a man who has had sex with another man. Girls can get away with being bi because no man is going to turn them down because of a same sex-relation. I'm very bisexual, but really would not mind being with a woman, but i usually won't date them becasue the bisexuality will come up and i fear being rejected. Yes, you could say well then she is not the right girl for you and your probably right; however, I think i psychologically, I limit myself to men and don't date women because of this where deep down I would really like to have a soft girl instead of a hairy guy.

Answer 1

Someone just asked a similar question; here's my answer copy and pasted:

Mainly because, for some reason, male homosexual behavior is seen as 'tainting'. People don't seem to mind gay men (well, intelligent people, at least), and most people are thrilled at straight men, but a man in the middle is the sort of meeting of two worlds they want clearly defined. I think it's quite clear in the fact that women are allowed to sexually experiment without loss of their sexual orientation labels, but if a man even so much as kisses another man, he is instantly seen as gay. Bisexual women, on the other hand, suffer the opposite phenomenon: the weakening of lesbian sexual behavior. It's consistently seen as a sexuality that is 'lacking something', defined by the absence of a penis, and something very retrovertible and somehow secondary- this concept that while some women might like women, they all can 'go back' to heterosexuality, or need to meet the right man, or would go wild at the idea of bringing men into their relationships. This idea that the bisexual woman is really just an adventurous female, while a bisexual man is a confirmed, tried and true gay man but with a dangerous fetish for women, is at the root of things, I think.

I think the bisexual man is threatening to a lot of people; for women, he represents a man who is somehow 'above' their sway and so-called 'p*ssy power'- if he gets tired of her games, or just tired of her in general, he can seek the company of other men. Of course, this isn't true- bisexual men are just as loving and fallible to the charms of women as straight men, but the myth persists. Women who are with bisexual men see themselves in terms of lacking what men have; men who are with bisexual women don't see themselves as lacking breasts, a vagina, and feminine qualities, but as instead having the penis. And for straight men, the bisexual man isn't as far-away as the gay man is- he and the bisexual man have something in common, but for that one little difference, and heap that knowledge on top of the already existing sort of sexual tension and fear between straight men, and a bisexual man is someone to be avoided. Bisexual women, on the other hand, don't seem to be threatening to straight women. Maybe it's because of the view of lesbianism that I described above; even women buy into it and believe that having a same-sex experience isn't damning in the least. Or perhaps there's less sexual tension between women in the quality that it exists in men.

And then bisexual men get the worst of the stereotypes and myths pushed onto them, particularly the idea that they spread disease from the gay community to straight and even were the ones who 'gave AIDS to straight people' (quite untrue!). Lesbian sex, having such small disease sharing rates, doesn't impune bisexual women with this myth. Too, perhaps, is the idea that bisexuality in men and women are different things. Women are often viewed as being more emotional, more romantic, and with more focus on relationships, whereas men are seen as sexual creatures who tend to rank physicality much higher. Therefore bisexual women are just being with those they love and their same-sex relationships are benign, but bisexual men, particularly those who only seek sex with men but sex and relationships with women, make it seem that their bisexuality is lust-driven. Which, of course, it is (what is bisexuality if not lust for both sexes?), but society tends to shun what they call 'excessive sexual indulgence', and that is considered one of them, perpetuating the concept that bisexual men are greedy, sex-addicted, and 'want to have their cake and eat it, too'.

For whatever reason, lesbian sex is attractive to most straight men; with some exceptions, gay male sex is only attractive to gay or bisexual men. This is bound to influence society's concept on bisexual men and women generally. A woman's bisexuality is seen as a benefit, a plus, a man's bisexuality is seen as a detractor and a risk. Perhaps it comes back to the idea that men handle relationships differently, and that a bisexual woman, for the sake of being a woman, is not so prone to affairs and cheating, whereas men are assumed to follow wherever their penises lead them. Or it comes down to the idea that, coming from lesbian-sex-as-not-serious/rea... premise, that if a bisexual woman does happen to cheat, it's not real infidelity if it's with another woman (but a man, with either sex, is a definitely infidelity).

Then there's the awful study that came out that reported that there is no such thing as male bisexuality (but that female bisexuality was alive and kicking). Never mind that the study has been debunked and shown for its methodological flaws; the public has it imprinted on their brains that bisexual men don't really exist, that they are really gay. It only seems to worsen things that many gay men hide behind the label of bisexual sometimes before coming out, or, in discovering their sexualities, use the term before transitioning to gay, making it seem that all bisexual men are really gay and either lying in order to get 'straight perks' or because they are ashamed of their homosexuality. Similarly, for gay or even bisexual men who come out of straight relationships or marriages to be with men, they are seen as having 'went to the other side' or having been closeted before, and this imbues people, women in particular, with a deep fear: if he's bisexual, he might want to leave me for a man later. Lesbian or bisexual women doing the same to be with other women is far less advertised or made such a fuss of, so it doesn't get the same treatment.

All of this stuff sort of combines into an awful brou-haha of negativity towards bisexual men, and it never gets any better because there are precious few bisexual men in the media spotlight, whereas it's become trendy for women to be bisexual (like Angelina Jolie, etc.). I think I covered the basics; hope that helps.

Answer 2

You're right hun. And most people actually say that there is no such thing as a bi-sexual male. They say that once a man has sex with another man then he's gay, whether he likes females or not. And I actually kind of agree. I don't know, it's just way too much to stick your penis in a males behind then stick it in a woman's vagina. There isn't much that two girls can do to each other. But that's just the world that we live in today. I'm actually not bothered by homosexuality. Love comes in many different forms.

Answer 3

Culturally, it always has been more acceptable for 2 women to be sexual with each other than 2 men. If you check out the past you will find this to be true. The Romans for instance would not execute lesbians, but if men in the legions were caught, then they would be executed by the other legionaries. This same attitude has come down through today. Most Northern European cultures have this same attitude and it is rechristen in nature. The Norse would kill a homosexual male in a heart beat. The Celts would either exile them or put them in the wicker man. Lesbians could still bear children and often would fight with the tribe or clan, the homosexual males wouldn't. Most European cultures that developed from this have a hard time reconciling bi-sexuality with life in a modern world and there are women that find 2 men having sex to be very hot. Check out passion.com for example. Sure you could find someone there that would meet your criteria.

Answer 4

Could it be that we are seen as something less of a man by women - because we've slept with other men?

Add to that the typical biphobia - about how we spread diseases, how unfaithful we naturally are, how we are secretly gay,... - and women (who - by and large - look for constancy, assuredness, security,... in their male partner) will thus shy away from the typically perceived male bisexual.

Fear of rejection will prevent you from ever dating a woman. Don't Ask - Don't Get!

My advice go ask - sure you may be rejected but you might just find the right woman, too. Be honest too let her know you're bi. You can do it in a positive way: "Of all the men and women in here, I find you to be the most attractive..." - something less corny might work better :)

Good Luck

Answer 5

Because its hetero guys deciding whats acceptable. They would like to be with two women, but are terrified of being treated by a man they way they themselves treat women. In pre-christian cultures bi-sexuality was considered normal in both men and women, Greece, Rome, the Celts, the Japanese, none of them condemned bi-sexuality, even a casual study of the historical records would make that clear. I've been bi my whole life, and the only concerns any of my girlfriends had in that respect was that they saw me as twice as likely to stray since I could stray two ways.

Answer 6

honestly speaking throught everything wemon have done in this society and how powerful they are in industries it still seems to be basically a male dominated society.

most straight or bi males find it "hot" to see 2 girls together which makes it seem much more acceptible and i dont think females are as attracted to two guys as men are with wemon, or maybe they are just not as vocal.

What i cant seem to wrap my mind around is that a man can watch a porn with a lesbian and/or female on female on male sexual encounter and LOVE IT yet they are totally against gay/bisexuality in any way. Its bullshit. People belive whatever they want to believe.

Answer 7

It's just the way society has turned out.

Answer 8

It's not more acceptable, although some men are perverts and might think so.

What a couple of ridiculous answers below by McDonald and uncle someone or other.