I am currently living with my partner of two years in the bottom level of his parents house. His parents told us we could live there and have the downstairs area. Well i was sorting out clothes and personal things like poems journals etc. so i had them in piles on the floor including dirty laundry and underwear. And his mum (when we were out) came down and cleaned everything up! she moved all my underwear and everything and she has done it twice. I think its really rude and i feel violated and my privacy has been breached I feel disgusting that she has touched all my underwear and seen all my personal private belongings which i feel she has no right to even touch! was she right to do this?? her excuse was it was untidy except her house is filthy and she never cleans (not even the dishes)
2007-02-04 19:41:43 · 12 answers · asked by charleecuteface 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
If people don't respect your privacy, try a lock. I'm with you and I don't want people going through my things. I don't care who they are, they have no business in your private things. I would suggest you talk to your other since it's your partner's parents. It will probably only cause trouble because she comes in when your not there and talking will not stop a person that does not respect your area. If she wants it clean, then she might suggest it, not do it herself and how does she know its messy if she isn't going through your stuff when you're not there. I'm not one for backing down and at an appropriate time(after talking to partner) I would ask her not to come into your area when you are not home. I'd do it very nicely and sweetly but look her in the eye so she gets the message. I'll bet it won't make a bit of difference and she'll be in your things again. Only solution is move.
2007-02-04 20:20:04 · answer #1 · answered by towanda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's being a snoop to me! Tell her how you feel & that in the future if she finds the bottom level a pig sty to tell you. Assure her that she doesn't have to go rummaging through your dirty laundry or other private things, that you always intend to clean up your own things. For one, I don't know what she would expect to find in a pile of underwear. The best remedy for you and your partner is to find a new place to move since it's obvious she has no respect for your wishes. She may be the Queen of the Castle, but she has no right to your unmentionables.
2007-02-04 19:58:56 · answer #2 · answered by gone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your personal stuff in a personal place. Put it away or lock it up. It is difficult living in another persons house while they live there too, esp family members. It isn't your place to complain right now. I know you feel violated but as I said before,it is a difficult situation for all persons involved. Try to make enough money so you can have your own place. In the meantime show that you apreciate their help to let you live in their home by keeping things as neat as you can. Be gracious. Good luck.
2007-02-04 19:57:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While it was wrong of her, it wasn't a BIG wrong. It is her home, and your partner is her son. Do you two pay rent? Do you have a lease of any sort? Either of those would make her invasion of your privacy even more wrong.
My suggestion is that, until you can get your own place, just make sure to shut your personal things away and ask her (as politely as possible) to just let you know if she feels the place needs cleaning--you'd be far happier if she would let you do it yourself.
2007-02-04 19:54:30 · answer #4 · answered by Vaughn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your own place. Pay all the bills, buy all the food, then you can complain. You left dirty laundry and crap on the floor for crying out loud. Who`s computer you on, theres? I`ll bet they`re footing the internet bill too. I`m not just messing with you either, most young "adults", and i use that loosly, love to complain the most when someone else is taking care of them.
2007-02-04 19:53:11 · answer #5 · answered by fisherking 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has some control issues. Your privacy has been violated, and I feel she was wrong. But I think you should just make sure to keep your downstairs area completely tidy from now on to avoid this. Just accept her as she is. Don't make a big issue of this, especially while you're living in her home.
2007-02-04 19:49:37 · answer #6 · answered by itry007 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a sign that she's getting tired of the living arrangement. She's trying to provoke you into realizing that you need your own place. Expect more conflict.
2007-02-04 20:07:54 · answer #7 · answered by Red Herring 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wrong....you should get back at her by going into her kitchen and wash her dishes...you should vacuum her area....in your spare time you should get a job and give her money for letting you stay there.........interesting choice of words "living with my partner" it suggests you are a couple of fags but then being gay suggests you are neat freaks.
2007-02-05 02:58:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's her house, she can do as she pleases. If you and your partner are old enough and mature enough to shack up, then you're old enough and mature enough to get your own place. Grow up already and move out.
2007-02-04 19:50:24 · answer #9 · answered by Fearless Leader 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
she's in the wrong. however, YOU ARE IN HER HOUSE so she has some rights. why not be honest with her and tell her you didn't like it and to please not do it again.
if she's the kind who will trip off of you for being upfront about that-then there's nothing we can do to help you.
2007-02-04 19:48:08 · answer #10 · answered by LS 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋