Is it normal that my mom doesn't want any help around the house or any help doing chores from me?

Question

Note: I'm a guy.

Should I be slightly insulted, I mean I'm not THAT incompetent.

Answer 1

you are a lucky guy to have mummy doing everything for you. ask her though how it is going to help you when the time comes for you to stand on your own feet. If/when you marry, there will be many arguments from your wife on housework chores.

Answer 2

It is normal if she is the perfectionist type. This kind of people, like to have their things, looking the way they think is suppose to look. Like Bree from Desperate Housewives.They are not very happy with surprise, even if it is a good one they doesn't seem to enjoy as much as others people does. They pay lots of attention on details that most people would not mind or care, because they are very visual. Appearance means a lot for this people, so an organized place.
PS: I grew up having my mother doing all for me and I didn't become an useless person whom can't run my daily chores. These are things you can easily learn as much as it becomes needy in your adult life. You won't be a bad husband because your mother used to take care of the house and your things. You already proved not to be lazy, so you are up to learn when the time comes.
I know lots of guys whom doesn't help their wives or girlfriends with the house errands because their are lazy, not because they don't know or never had to know, but because they just don't feel to help.
You have the right motivation and that is what it counts. Since you feel to do something and learn it, any help that comes from you, it will be very well appreciated. Plus, isn't your job take care of the house but have good grades and being a good son. I guess that is the best way you can show your appreciation.

Answer 3

My mother treated me the same way but it was because she thought she could do it better herself. When I did it she just criticized me and did it over.
Do you have any sisters that she accepts help from? If not, then I suspect that she just doesn't want to have to be bothered with training you and having to put up with work that isn't up to her standards (in her head standards). If you do have sisters and they help her then maybe she just has a sexist attitude toward boys.
In any event, you need to ask her for training in housework because there will come a time when you will need to know how to do it. There is nothing more helpless then a guy who doesn't know how to turn on the washer or how to prepare a simple meal. Knowing this stuff will not make you "girly" but it will keep you from looking stupid and useless. Also it will keep you from starving to death on the days when you don't want to/can't go to a restaurant to eat.

Answer 4

I don't know your mother and why she doesn't want you to do chores, but I can tell you that some mothers don't believe in asking kids to do chores other than just picking up after themselves, cleaning their own room, and maybe do something like take out trash if asked to or get the pet new water if asked to.

My mother did not want any of her three kids do more chores than the kind of thing I described above. She said her childhood had been so full of chores to do that she didn't feel she had much of a childhood and vowed not to do that to her kids. Her belief was that we should be free of housework until we had our own homes, and she had every faith that we would do our own housework when we had homes those homes. She said that by the time she grew up she was so sick of doing chores she didn't want that for her kids.

The message she "sent" by doing things as she did was that when you grow up there are chores that grown ups have to do as part of their responsibilities.

Her way worked. I grew up being about the cleanest and neatest person who does a really good job of taking care of what needs to be done in the house, and I almost kind of enjoy many chores (not all, that's for sure). My sister and I (the girls of the family) are very capable when it comes to this stuff, and my brother is one who takes responsibility on that someone else may not.

When I had children of my own I used my mother's approach. When they were little I asked nothing of them in terms of any kind of "responsibilities" with the exception of getting them to help me pick up some of their toys. When they got a little older I just wanted them to clean their room, do their homework, and pick up after themselves if they had snacks. Occasionally, I'd ask my son to bring out a trash bag as a help to me or to give the dog some fresh water. They learned responsibility for their own things and that responsibility for the house is really - for the most part - the responsibility of the parents.

When I would do something like ask my son to take out a trash bag it was pretty much a matter of asking him to help me with the something that was my responsibility, but what he learned from that was that while parents have certain responsibilities it is also reasonable to ask a child to help if necessary.

I didn't have the thing where I paid for the kids to do chores either. They didn't have chores, but if they did anything that helped me I wasn't about to pay them for doing what people ought to do when their mother requests they do some little thing.

The way I operated was on the idea that if every child did what he/she should with his own belongings, dishes, and space; and if every person in the house left the bathroom the way they found in when they first went to take a shower, it made my work easier; and I didn't mind taking on tasks like making sure the dishes were put away, the rugs were vacuumed, or the bathroom was cleaned.

By teaching my kids to be responsible with their own belongings and space and to respect the clean bathroom and kitchen they always had, I had no need to ask them to help because taking care of things in the house was pretty easy. I had no wish to ask them to do chores not only because I thought the house was mine and they didn't ask to have a big living room rug to vacuum, but because I took pride in showing them how a well organized, capable, adult is able to competently care for the house without needing the help of children.

I just believe that the best way to teach a child what responsibilites he/she will have as an adult is to be an adult who manages his/her own responsibilities well rather than requiring children to spend time doing housework when it would be better spent doing school work or even just resting after a hard week of studying.

My two sons have both had apartments and roommates at one time or another, and both of them are the ones who often clean up after the roommates who won't. My daughter has no problem doing what needs to be done as far as work goes either.

I don't think you should be insulted. Your mother may be like me and just not believe in requiring children to do "chores", and since you're probably a grown son I'm guessing she may just be used to doing whatever chores she does and not mind doing them.

I've always just kind of thought, "I'm the one who got the house. I'm the one who had the family. I'm the one who said we could have a dog or a cat. I'm the one who thinks the kitchen floor needs to be washed. - not my kids." I believe I'm the one who built the life that is full of chores - not my kids. When they make the choice to have a house and kids and pets then they'll be the ones who have to do the chores associated with that life.

Answer 5

yes it is normal and found in many mothers they take their responsibility of being a mother very seriously &want their family to leave all the chores as her duty.....but hey only the lucky ones get such responsible mothers

Answer 6

maybe she wants a more feminine help if ever she needs one... how old are you? maybe for her guys are better in garden jobs or fixing broken stuff at home that household hores.
ask your mom why she doesnt ask for your hel. tell her you are willing to do household chores but is hesitant because she doesnt tell you to help her. not that you still need to be asked for help or anything

Answer 7

feel lucky that you have a mother who wants to take care of you. It may be nice though if you take her out to dinner or get her a gift to show her that you appriciate it. If you do this already that may be why she doesnt ask for you help.

Answer 8

It's normal maybe your mom wanted you to be seating pretty. But if you like to help your mom do it without asking her permission.I'm mom is also like your mom as long as she can do it by herself she will not bother to ask someone.

Answer 9

Maybe she doesn't expect much from you because you are retarded. Show responsability by getting a part time job.

Answer 10

She wants your bod