He and I have been together for over around two years. It has been a powerful and emotional time and lately things have become hard - we are fighting over stupid trivial things.
He says he wants to start a new life without me now and I don't want to give up yet. I see so much room to grow and learn from our problems if only he would talk to me about them, but he refuses to talk...
2007-02-04 18:40:27 · 12 answers · asked by why 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know this hurts. I have been in the same situation, but you have the opportunity to come out of this with something that I didn't, and that is dignity.
I wanted to keep my partner so badly that I would have done anything for him - he saw this and began treating me quite badly, breaking up, getting back together, not wanting me around his friends, still wanting me around his family, and finally cheating on me - several times - but I only recently found this out.
I found it really hard to let go - but when one person is ready to walk, the sad fact is that that is the end for both of you.
Let him go, and do it with dignity - make yourself a rule that you will only take him back once and if he stuffs it up again, you will move on with your life and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Tell him that it is all or nothing - I made the mistake of trying to be friends, and that fell into being used for sex. Tell him that you are either in this together, or he lives without your friendship and your companionship. You've got to be really strong though.
I soent 4 and a half years with my man - a full year with him breaking up, moving out, getting back together, being used and abused... and then it took me another 2 years to get over him - becasue i insisted I wanted him as a friend - take my advice and cut him off if this happens - don't waste 6 years of your life, like I wasted of mine.
2007-02-04 18:49:52 · answer #1 · answered by Jodes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the only easy thing to say is just let go. He sounds like hes over you and not willing to work things out. Why would you even want to stay with some one like that? Its not easy letting go. I have been there done that. But now I am married to a wonderful man with three kids. I still think of the ones I lost wondering the what if's. It will take lots of time to get over him. Some times a rebound guy will work or just a hobby to get your mind off of him. Lots of time with friends helps too. Just don't drive them nuts with all the talk about your Ex. Even though thats what they are there for. You can still learn from your problems from this relationship in a new one. For one get with someone that is willing to work on things cause they love you and want to. Not some dope *** that don't give two cents. Your worth more then that. Don't let him get to you. As hard as it is, hold your head up and smile like its not bothering you when you run into him again. I would just tell him that you understand and that hes right. He not worth your time and your not going to spend yours on someone that doesn't want it. What a waist!
2007-02-04 18:53:45 · answer #2 · answered by darlingnicky772 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is trying to run away from the problems, but usually when a man wants to begin a new life, he has another woman he is wanting to begin the new life with. he doesn't see the same future as u do, and there is very little u can do to change his mind without the begging and pleading, which will win u no sympathy or respect at all. it is hard to give up on someone u love, as u can see the possibilities and u feel the difficulties can be worked out, but he can't see it, because he has someone else now, and there is just nothing we can do about it. if we fail to accept it we will experience more hurt we sometimes just have to let them go.
2007-02-05 00:16:58 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh dear... i know how you must be feeling... it's surprising how we are so clueless when it happens to us, but when it happens to others it's crystal clear.
this is a phase that comes in mostly all relationships... though the issues seem trivial and silly, there is something deeper from which they arise... sometimes you can work it out, and sometimes it is just an indication that things are dead anyway and it's a warning sign not to go further
i suggest go on a 2-3 day long weekend, and have some fun together, and then come back and speak to him... as to why he wants to end it when you guys can have so much... if there's something about you that's bugging him, see if you can change it.
else i think it's best you move on, it will hurt a LOT ofcourse, but best to leave it while it's still not bitter.
Wish you all the best,
2007-02-04 23:30:16 · answer #4 · answered by verve 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him stay if he doesn't want to stay.
You have to just let go of him. If you really love him let him go, you are being selfish when you want him to stay.
Maybe some time away from you will get him to understand that he really needs you (you never miss something until you lose it).
I know letting go will be hard, but believe me you will be better off at the long run, and who knows you might meet someone who loves you more and is just around the corner.
Be brave, just let him go.
2007-02-04 18:50:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears that you two are developing at different rates. You must let go, there's no other way. So remember that if you love something (or someone) let them go. If they come back to you, they are yours, and worth working with. If not, then you never did have them. Hard, but true. It's a Life Experience you will appreciate later.
2007-02-04 18:47:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he refuses to talk.. then he have made up his mind dear... Let that coward go.. i know its gona be hard but adapt to ur new life and lead one peacefully dear... Pray.. and possible go for Yoga classes and be tension free.. i know for some time memories will haunt u but jst endure and stick with some good frends and talk to them gal.
God Bless dear.
2007-02-04 18:48:00 · answer #7 · answered by sUnseT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he wants start a new life without u he's tellin u indirectly he doesnt want u any more..dont push it coz if u did n he agreed later on 2 have u with him..ull suffer coz he's being pushed 2 it..so if i was in ur place i wud let go..good luck :)
2007-02-04 18:47:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE SET THEM FREE!
If they come back, then it was meant to be,
And if not it then wasn't meant to be!
On that note: Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?
Is his happiness any better than yours?
In all honesty, be fair to him and to yourself.
Good Luck.
2007-02-04 18:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by Bluelady... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let him go,, he obviously has bigger and better things on his mind besides you... his mind is made up... i know it suck.... been there myself.....good luck
2007-02-04 19:06:30 · answer #10 · answered by Traynor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋