I'm married with two kidds, my husband is 1 year younger than me and I feel like he is looking for youngers

Question

I actually didn't love him when we married but after 6 years now I feel like I like him and I'm a very good wife and a good mother.
I'm 35, educated, rich, with a great body and a good face, since I feel he is not interested in me as much as before I just feel like I want to change my life style. I want to get my PHD degree and find someone else but kids are who I can never just leave them, what should I do?

Answer 1

Get your PHD and then decide. Sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Answer 2

Has it occur to you that maybe you are not meeting his needs? Maybe that is why he is losing interest in you. It could also be that he is having some changes in his life or visa versa.

So why try to look for an easy way out and start making your marriage work! Have you ever asked him if he is still interested in you or if he finds you still attractive? Does he know how you feel?

Leaving your kids for a 'career' will not be a wise thing to do. Just because you are finding fault with your husband, doesn't mean that you have to start finding a 'career' that will make you happy, or if you are not happy with him or your kids. Anotherwards, you will be putting yourself first before anyone else who needs you the most. Your kids need you there at home and so does your husband. The best thing to do is wait for your kids to be all grown up and out of the house, then you can proceed with a 'career'. Don't think about yourself, start thinking about your kids.

I would consider on reading, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage".

Hope this made sense to you.

Answer 3

I am not sure exactly why you are not happy with your marriage .
Are you bored ? The lust of the early years has worn off ?
7 year itch ?...Mid life crisis ?
Well, divorce him and keep the kids...
You do realize that the lust phase of any relationship only lasts
a couple years don't you ?
It will happen to you again with your next partner...
Lust & Love are chemical events in the brain..
You are an educated woman, think about it rationally...
Here is a start for you...
==============================
Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that
a consistent number of chemicals are present in the
brain when people testify to feeling love.
These chemicals include; Testosterone,
Oestrogen, Dopamine, Norepinephrine,
Serotonin, Oxytocin, and Vasopressin.
More specifically, higher levels of Testosterone
and Oestrogen are present during the lustful phase
of a relationship. Dopamine, Norepinephrine,
and Serotonin are more commonly found during
the attraction phase of a relationship.
Oxytocin, and Vasopressin seemed to be more
closely linked to long term bonding and relationships
characterized by strong attachments.

Answer 4

I am a little confused about your question. I suggest trying to work things out, don't make them POW either. I am not trying to be mean...just trying to understand. You claim to be a good wife and mother. Q: Do you love your children? Why? Do you only like your children? You do realize they are a part of him?Q: How can you claim to be a good wife if you do not and have never loved him. Why have you not made a choice to love your husband?

My point is that you chose to love you children, but not your husband. Though your children are in part him.

I know just how you are feeling though... well, everything but the rich and good body (gained weight since I married)...lol Sometimes you get to feeling stuck. I also think it is normal for a man to be looking, as long as they are not touching.

Unfortunately, we are supposed to marry for good and bad... so on and so forth. All marriages experience times of good and bad. The easy thing to do is give up... and it does show children it is okay to give up...if that is what you want to teach them. Children tend to also take it personal...such as they are at fault. Some marriages are arranged...Love is a choice one makes. You can choose the easy way out or you can choose to stick it out.

It also sounds as though you may be self conscience about your age. Over confident about your body and face...sounds to me like you may already be looking for someone else. It also sounds like he may have perhaps shut you out due to the fact of he has waited some time for your love.

It is normal to get comfortable and bored... take charge of your boredom. And try to remember the grace that was there when the two of you first got together...where the other could do no wrong...and you could forgive even if they were wrong.

No one can make your decisions for you. I hope you make the right decision for you and your family...but don't burn the bridge if you are not sure. It sounds if you are here asking you aren't sure. Good Luck and I hope this helps!

Answer 5

SORRY!!!!Wrong question, you need to know is it wrong to divorce a man because you think he lost interest or maybe you lost interest.You made a mistake getting married when you'll wasn't in love. Did you'll at less talk about the the distance between you'll. Before you start even thinking about cheating, creeping, doing all the things that are the soul reason why woman get label trifling.You need to put one good, try in to your marriage before you throw it away cause you THINK, your husband has lost interest.Then if you guys both look into and decide other wise, i wish you the best luck on finding Mr. right. but do the right thing.

Answer 6

If I were you, i'd call for a paternity attempt. you're properly, if she's gonna screw round w/ somebody else's guy there is not any telling what percentage men she develop into with! a chum of mine went via an similar ingredient and once the newborn help association got here up, he were given a dna attempt carried out and it grew to develop into out the newborn wasn't even his! He develop into together with her for a year? Wow, he's were given to be tremendous at hiding stuff. You extra perfect be actual careful, apparently as if he would not comprehend what dedication means. you've plenty to imagine about. If the newborn does finally end up to be his you may't keep him/her away, that isn't any longer the newborn's fault. see you later as you note he's making a change for the further perfect, your marriage receives extra perfect yet this can be on your head continually, only ensure your husband extremely means what he says and that he continues to be authentic. it may suck to make investments all this time and love on someone who can't even stay dedicated. sturdy luck and that i wish issues get extra perfect for you and your kin.

Answer 7

See what all that college gets you folks. Still a dumb ***...LOL. Seeing you are "rich" If your husband don't like you I am sure he would love the idea of a divorce settlement. Now he has your money but not all the BS I am sure you put him through to get at it. I don't think it is your age, face or body I am sure it is your personality. Just by wording this question the way you did you sound very snooty and arrogant. It would be a nice break for him, go for it.

Answer 8

It sounds like you are falling out of love. There are many mistakes made in this society by two people forcing themselves to live together for the sake of the children. This is very wrong. Most children in this kind of situation, are unhappy, very unhappy. You are not helping them at all, you are actually hurting them emotionally without realizing it. You are also setting a bad example to them at a young age.
I am a teacher in the Children Center in a Unified School District, 40% of the children are from a broken family. I have had a lot of challenges with children who are living in a very unhappy home, and once they parents divorce, they actually are happier. Believe it or not the children blame themselves when parents are fighting. So if you think you are doing your children a favor by staying in this "loveless relationship with your husband, think again. GOODLUCK

Answer 9

Some will say that the kids come first, and how could you do that to them, but you are their Mother, and to do the best for them, you must first do the best for you. If you feel content, then the kids will be happier - they pick up these things.
Kids are remarkably resilient, and if you separate amicably, and find another man, which I think you would like to do, they will survive. Remember, you only have them until they leave the nest, then they take responsibility for themselves. If you've stayed unhappy just for them, what will you do for the rest of your Life?
Do the best for you, trust the kids' judgement, and you'll survive.

Answer 10

don't tell me that u just like him only after 6 yr of marriage?it's absurb indeed,totally no love n yet got 2 kids.since u said u r a good wife u should show ur love to him n not leaving him 4 ur PHD degree,so after ur PHD then u chuck him out?it's not fair to him if u do that.mutual understanding n common interest can be cultivated slowly n patiently.

Answer 11

Why would you marry someone you didn't love? How educated are you if you use words like "youngers" and "life style" (one word). Both of you are looking for something other than what you have, which is a form of denial. It's better to get in touch with reality by being honest and having honest and direct conversations.