I have a good friend who has a really hard time facing reality. The slightest honest opinion I make can get him a bit upset for a while. He gets put down easily, and it's often hard for me to reach him when he does because he rears away from me. What can I do to allow him to become more openminded to other people's ideas and more tolerant towards harshness? He seems to shut himself away. AND everytime he does that, I FEEL SO BAD about myself like I've done something wrong. Please help. >__<
2007-02-04 17:30:51 · 6 answers · asked by m&ms 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
and besides, he moved to another state and I can't see him in person. :[
2007-02-04 17:31:59 · update #1
Sometimes this is not very easy to deal with. There isn't really anything that you can do in cases like this. I know it is difficult, but sometimes you need to let people do what they want. I know it can be unsettling, but they learn after awhile. I've had friends like this before, so I know what it is like. You have to keep going, and hopefully he'll come to his senses. I know that this isn't very helpful, but think about it, and you'll understand.
2007-02-04 17:36:15 · answer #1 · answered by Spirit Wolf 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing you can do is be as understanding as possible. At some point, you will become frustrated, as the person in question has a tendency to avoid conflicts and confrontation in reality. The most beneficial approach is to remain rational. Also, try presenting the other, alternate side and/or view in non-threatening or otherwise, hostile way. This friend will probably say, hmm-I've never thought of it that way. In friendships we have a tendency to be agreeable, rather than nudge the person to reconsider their thought process. Ultimately, the other person decides how they feel or will react in a situation-but you might just be the one to help them reconsider or make steps to change.
2007-02-04 19:04:32 · answer #2 · answered by nunya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dr. Elaine Aron (I hope the spelling is right) has written a really amazing serious on "the highly sensitive person". Find a copy of one of her books and send it to your friend. While you're at it take a flip through yourself! She distinguishes between highly sensitive and non-highly sensitive people and has lots of good ideas and how to help both sides. Good luck!
2007-02-04 17:39:07 · answer #3 · answered by shell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offense but you are not to live his life for him. You want to help him so much but did you ever think that by attempting to help him, you are making his life worse. I have done that and I hurt so bad for those who I attempted to help. It is hard to live your life and take care of yourself. Instead of going to others with your problems, face them on your own as your friend should. This sounds cold, but if you would have lived the life that I have lived, you would understand that you will be helping your friend and yourself by just praying for the two of you.
2007-02-04 17:54:20 · answer #4 · answered by grannywinkie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep pointing out all the great things he does. Maybe he got shot down by one, or both parents. He's probably very low confidence.
2007-02-04 17:47:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try writing handwritten mails to him. There you should carefully use your language to let him know what you think.
2007-02-04 17:35:50 · answer #6 · answered by hado_hl3130 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋