My dad is getting remarried and i dont want him to, promised me he would not remarry?

Question

My dad promised me he was never going to get remarried he has been with alot of girlfriends and one of them especially was really nice and worked out for all of us as a whole. But now his new girlfriend he is with who he has been with for about 3 years is a nice person but we just don't get along and its not as good as the previous situation we were in. He just told me last week that he gave her a ring and i did not know how to respond. I am 18 and in college but still am very close to my dad, but not nearly as close as we were before she came into his life. In all honesty i would not be as upset as long as he does not officially marry her what i am asking is, is it fair to ask my dad to just not marry her, even though i don't like him being with her i will sacrifice that for his happiness I just don't think i can be a part of his new life if he officially gets married to her. Also if he remarries her what does that do if something happens to him does stuff go to her now not me.

Answer 1

I think you are just mainly concerned with the last part. If I was your dad yes my stuff would go to her. Unreal.....

Answer 2

dearly darling,

i have to deliver the bad news for you...You are old enough anyways to know that you're "Dad is a MAN".

Its hard enough being a man single and young, but a father getting old and isnt young is not some walk in the park.

I know that you probably think you being close to Dad is everything, everything for you probably. But not for him.

He needs a companionship (if mentioning sex is too rude) far greater than what you can offer. As a daughter you have full filled your position for your Dad, but you are not a spouse/life partner.

You are going off to college, soon going to get busy in your online anyway. Isnt it a fair enough wants if your dad wanted someone to be with him. look after him, 24 hours in a day.

so believe me you are distanced by situation that "you are growing up" not by because "youre dad is going to have another wife".

If you really do love your dad, i think you should let him re marry.
Something stabil is better than changing gf so often for someone his age.

Your life about to begin, soon you discover having partner as well and you might understand why your dad feels the need for "other love" not just from his daughter.

By letting him marry you are enriching his life and the love you have for him by understanding and put yourself second.
Dont be too selfish, youre not 10 anymore.

You can be reasoned, and I hope you dont have to worry that your relationship with dad change.

relationship change all the time be it with a life partner, child, even your doctor.

Be a bridesmaid, its the best thing you can probably give your dad that he will trully appriciate till the day he dies.

peace!

Answer 3

I think your dad deserves to be happy. You are 18, he did his job with you..If you love your dad like you say, then you need to be on his side no matter what.. As long as he is happy, then you need to be happy for him.You can't ask him not to get remarried. That is just not fair, you love him, OK ,but you can't give him what he needs.There is a big difference between the love for a daughter and a wife.. And about her getting his things if something were to happen to him, Just make sure he has a will..

Answer 4

You're 18. You're an adult. It doesn't matter whether or not you like his lady since you won't be living with them. Give your dad a break. I'm sure he loves you the same way he always has. He simply needs a woman in his life. When the time comes for you to choose the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, I don't think you'll consult him.

Don't worry about the money. Hillary might get elected in 2008 and she might end up with all of it anyway.

Just love your Dad.

Answer 5

I wish your dad hadn't promised you never to remarry. Parents tend to make alot of promises that they can't really keep, especially when going through difficult times like divorces. I'm in a similar situation. I know its hard! Soon, though, it won't feel new anymore. You'll be able to settle in. I hope it will all work out for you.

Email me if you need someone to talk to! : )

Answer 6

I think that you should be happy that your dad found someone that he feels he can connect with and share his life with. You should just be happy for him and I am sure that as time goes by you will learn to love the lady in his life. Speak to your father about how the will changes should he marry but dont ask him not to marry!

Answer 7

not to be mean or anything but you sound incredibly selfish. you are trying to put your happiness in front of your dads. he deserves to be happy and if marrying this girl makes him happy then you need to just accept it. your an adult now and you should be concerned about running your own life not his. and as far as if something happens to him most people have a will and what he states in his will is what will be done the only way that she would get all of his stuff is if he stated in his will that he wanted everything to go to her.

Answer 8

How would you feel if your dad told you not to date a girl of your choice, whom you loved?
You are 18 now, and although it is hard to go through what you have, you are an adult now, and it's time to let go and allow your dad to make choices for him. He may have felt that he doesn't owe you an explaination or that he no longer has to hold up to his promise he made because you are of age now.
It is true that you will move on in your life, perhaps even move away and need your dad less, when you are gone, who does he have? You need to try to get along with her, and stop comparing her to the last girlfriend, if you do that, it just shows the potential for you to do that in your own relationships and it is a self sabotaging move.
It isn't a choice you have to make, it's your dad's life and he doesn't need your blessing. You don't have to like her, no one says you do, but do not like her for the right reasons, not because she isn't like someone else.
It sounds like you may be threatened by his close relationship, and yes, although your dad's items are just things, and it shouldn't matter who they go to, but they will go to her... If this is a concern of yours, ( perhaps you need to do some thinking about this in an adult manner... ) She may seem like a "gold digger" to you, but have you given her a fair chance? Perhaps you two do not get along because she feels distance from you. If she makes your dad happy, isn't that what matters? If the love is genuine, why shouldn't your dad be entitled to move on???

Sit down and talk with your dad about these things, in an understanding manner. You are entitled to feel hurt and angry, and perhaps this marriage means less time for you, but you must remember, that your life is your own, just as your dad has his. He loves you and never has stopped loving you, and his love for you isn't replaced by hers. He probably thinks of you as a young man with life at your feet, It has been three years, that should be enough time in your eyes that thier love has been proven to be genuine?
Give her a chance, is there a way you can talk to her privately get to know her? If you set down your pride, your family will be alot closer.

Answer 9

You are 18 and I don't think that you guys will be as close as you were when you were younger. Lets face it you are going to college and you are going to have a busy life. He has probably just found someone to spend his time with now. You need to grow up and not be so selfish. If it is a mistake then let him make his mistakes just like you would want him to let you do growing up.

Answer 10

you sound very selfish, and i hope thats not the case here...from all you wrote your father has had many mates but not chosen to marry before either because he wasn,t sure, or you weren,t happy or something...perhaps its taken him a long time to find the one he wanted to spend his life with, ...from all you,ve said he did not rush into anything, but shopped around, and then found someone he wanted to be with... and YES if something were to happen to him once they have married, than all would go to the new wife unless he stated in his will otherwise... so maybe you should make friends with this woman, and be a friend to your dad to...talk to him, and tell him how you fell , without judging him, and without coming off the line sounding as if your only trying to cover your inheritance ok, good luck to you , but find someone to talk to ok....

Answer 11

He has a right to be happy and she may have a right to SOME of his estate after marriage, but you should be included too. He may do whatever he wants to with his wealth but he should not forget his little boy. (for sentimental reasons)
You ask good question. Try to speak honestly to him but he may get angry if you bring up the estate thing the wrong way. Just ask, What will I do without you? I love you. I need you. Who will help me live or grow up or pay for college or love me. (do not forget the love part) This will get the conversation started.