I am engaged to a guy whom I referred my family, now when all are ready for marriage I am not :( I dont know but now I don't feel him the same as he was before.
Also, since he is from other community and culture now it seems that I wont be able to adjust in his family. I never thought this could be an issue but now this seems to be a very big issue. Also, my parents love him so much and he gets everthing he thought of with this relationship but I am not getting any love from his family or anything from this relationship now. I dont have any charm to get married or I always see that I wont be happy with him. I am not sure why I think that I wont be happy but I am running away from the wedding.
Please help what to do?
2007-02-04 17:08:51 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not uncommon to get the jitters before the big day, if you love him tell him about it, ask questions now, But I do believe love is a choice you have to make and stick with it. you also have to realize in any relationship him or someone down the road your going to have douts and regrets but you make the CHOICE to stick it out and make it work, sometimes you have to give 150% sometimes it's the other way around, now is the time to find out if he is giving or not and vise versa. by the way it will screw him up to if ya don't talk about it and his ego will go FLAT and it may take some time for him to get ovr it, Men have feelings too..
2007-02-04 17:20:30 · answer #1 · answered by Right 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think im safe to say you have "cold feet." Many people have the tendency to want to back out of a wedding right before the big day. If you truly think its something more though, then you should talk to him and tell him how you feel. You have to follow your heart on this one. Maybe the guy that you are running from should be the one you turn to for answers. Youre just a little emotional right now. Marriage is a big step, and believe me I know how big that step seems when the day is just around the corner.
2007-02-05 01:17:26 · answer #2 · answered by Sexxi~Hot~Mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you're trying to rely on your emotions more than on the truth or facts. I'm not married, neither was I going to do that yet, so I don't have any expertise. I just heard that once you are married you need to choose to stay committed and choose to love and act accordingly.
Maybe you need some time. If I were you, I'd pray, and I also I'd be honest with the fiance.
I wish you all the wisdom and all the best.
2007-02-05 01:15:44 · answer #3 · answered by thankful 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about how you feel, but use I statements so it does not become a defenseive arguement. Example, I fear that I am not loved from your family and I am not happy. If you are not sure don't get married! Call it off, talk about things and see what happens. Take the time to know for sure what you want as well as what you have to offer.
2007-02-05 01:19:18 · answer #4 · answered by DJ Z dub 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A marriage is more than a union between two individuals; it's a joining of two families. It sounds like you are becoming extremely aware of this fact.
Perhaps now would be a good time to hold off on the actual marriage, and really get to know his family and let them get to know you. Without the pressure of a wedding deadline, it may be easier to see them (and your fiance) more objectively.
Take care of yourself!
2007-02-05 01:17:36 · answer #5 · answered by katnkaboodle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only marry him if you (alone) truly love him. It does not matter who else loves him. If you don't love him and you marry him, you will be sorry for the rest of your life. You are the one that will have to put up with him. Your family will get over you cancelling the wedding. This is your life and you deserve to be truly happy. Follow your instincts. If your heart says no, then it's no. Forsake all others, THIS IS YOUR LIFE.
2007-02-05 01:25:07 · answer #6 · answered by karen_crawl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married for your parents happiness or for another person's happiness, but for your happiness only. You are the only one who counts. If you don't want this. Then it's your decision to make. Appologize to your family, but make no excuses. It's your life, and you didn't want your life to go in that direction. Be a strong woman.
2007-02-05 01:32:36 · answer #7 · answered by jennilaine777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are not ready to get marry to this man then be honest
and let him know the truth, he need to know what going on. but
the question you need to ask is why did you say yes to him when
you knew that hs culture and community was such a issues
to you. time to be honest with him and go from there.
2007-02-05 01:14:31 · answer #8 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel this way now then forget the wedding. Only happy marriages are worth having.
2007-02-05 01:13:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
DON'T GET MARRIED IF YOU DON'T LOVE HIM OR IF YOU FEEL THAT IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK OUT. BUT, IF THE PROBLEM IS BEING CAUSED BY HIS FAMILY, DON'T LET THAT DISCOURAGE YOU FROM GETTING MARRIED. REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY HIM AND NOT HIS FAMILY.
KEEP IN MIND THAT IF HE IS ACTING DIFFERENTLY TOWARDS YOU IT COULD BE BECAUSE OF THE STRESS OF PLANNING OUT A WEDDING, OR EVEN BECAUSE OF THE PERSPECTIVE OF BEING MARRIED AND BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU.
2007-02-05 01:17:05 · answer #10 · answered by chocolatecupcake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋