My ex bf broke up with me to be with another girl, its a very complicated story, but I helped him thru alot we, never fought, fell in love, but he was depressed and even had suicidal feelings. I was there for him thru it all and he told me how much he loved me and appreciated me. We were together almost 2years. But when he developed feelings for this other girl, he lied to me, acted very cold to me, acted like we were never much of anything. He hurt me very badly. I feel he made me think these things were true, but they were not. Why did he act this way towards me? After, I tried to confront him and he aplogized and said it was all uncalled for. But he seems very distant and cant face me. But my question why and how could he say such hyrtful things to me, I truly feel we had a good relationship minus his depressive state. I helped him thru so much! Can someone help me understand him,?? Was it to justify what he did was right? Is this part of depression or disorder? I was shocked.
2007-02-04 16:51:01 · 9 answers · asked by MissMia 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
he probably just doesnt feel the same way about you as he used to. Hes not in love with you anymore so its easier for him to say those things...or its the other way around, he says those things so its easier not to love you. Sorry to hear about what happened.
2007-02-04 16:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one really knows for sure. There are certain things people want to try, want to do, sometimes these things are completely out of the blue and uncalled for. Not too long ago my boyfriend started to do something similar. He broke up with me, told me lies about why, then the next day he called me, and told me that someone tried to come back into his life, but he really loved me, and couldn't do what he thought he wanted to do. I really love him, so I didn't mind taking him back, but the very thought of it eats away at my soul every day. Will he do it again? I'm not sure. I one to have very suicidal tendancies. For one thing... I have some health issues that I'll probably end up dying of anyway, and then there are depression problems, most related to this. Sometimes I want to tell him how I feel, but I don't want to sound too whiney or anything like that. I just really don't know what to do. I feel stupid, and I feel as though I'm just not good enough for anyone. I really truly love him, but I just don't know exactly if he truly means it when he says he loves me.
I think guys really just can't physically stand being in a relationship with one person. This could be related to depression, and what not, but it is definitely mind related. Just know, I really feel for you, and I understand completely. I don't think I can stand through another heart break. I believe that next time it will kill me....
2007-02-05 01:55:33 · answer #2 · answered by Spirit Wolf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As an off and on sufferer of depression I can tell you its not easy to deal with. Especailly when it comes to people you love, sometimes you hurt them and say things you don't mean, and apologize. Sometimes you hurt people apologize and still can't be around them because you know you hurt them and that hurts you. Its really complicated a lot of the time being depressed, you can't shift through your feelings and get confused a lot by them.
Your best bet is to know he is sorry and not to put any pressure on him. When you see him just be friendly. Don't go out of your way to be overly friendly, or cold. Eventually he won't feel so weird being around you.
Sometimes hurtful things come out even when you don't want them too because your hurting and don't know what to do with that feeling.
2007-02-05 00:59:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex-BF was proabably never in love with you in the first place. In your case, you probably were not truly in love with him, but in love with the idea of fixin him to your own specifications. I think you thought that if you helped him with his problems he would end up falling in love with you because you offered help.
What you did would have worked with a woman, but not a man. Men do not like to be offered help, if they don't ask for it. What you did changed the status quo of the relationship from that of being 2 heterosexual lovers and partners to a more mothe-son type of relationship. I don't think he wanted to date mommy.
Next time, it will be best for you to offer help only when a man asks for it, otherwise, you end up emasculating him and subconsciously turning him off.
Besides, you don't ever want to date someone when they are going through a mental crisis. Just keep in mind that you are not their therapist, if they need one, they should get help from a professional. Next time, date someone who is mentally and emotionally whole, someone who can offer you love. Quit trying to fix men, it never works!
2007-02-05 01:05:57 · answer #4 · answered by Muga Wa Kabbz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds really sad. Its sounds like he is feeling guilty for what he did to you. If i were you I would move on. I f he really loves you he will apologize and be back with regrets for what he said and the way he acted. Men are strange. Maybe he is trying to lie to himself so he can be with that girl without thinking hes missing something special he once had. sorry. There's other fish in the sea. Think about your good qualities and what he will be missing. sounds to me you deserve better.
2007-02-05 01:03:43 · answer #5 · answered by siayae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically in a nutshell, he really didn't mean to hurt you. He was just making those awful comments so you would leave. He feels very guilty from everything from the beginning. I have done this before. Because you are so nice to him, and so loving and caring. He really doesn't know how to let you go, except to be just plain mean to you.
It's called reverse psychology.
2007-02-05 01:03:36 · answer #6 · answered by izzitonme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a user and a loser. You are much better off without him. Get on with your life but learn not to trust what is told to you because he was just a big selfish bag of neurotic wind.
2007-02-05 00:56:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
believe me, for i have lived far longer than you have: this is not depression or bi-polar disorder on the depressive side.
this treatment is called Being a True Jerk and Ingrate. it is a sickness of the mind of men that cannot face themselves, therefore they lie to themselves and then they lie to you.
another disease exists here which is called Inconsideration. men who suddenly take off with another woman have no consideration to show that they appreciated all you did for them in times of trouble.
and he has yet another disease, which is this: Thinking with Two Heads, the lower one being predominant: obviously he thinks that she is sexier than you are.
forget him.
show him that you forgot him when he comes crawling on his creepy knees to you because she found someone else and dropped her just as fast as he dropped you.
2007-02-05 01:05:46 · answer #8 · answered by Louiegirl_Chicago 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget him
2007-02-05 00:55:43 · answer #9 · answered by Truth D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋