My partner has asked me to consider getting it on with another couple. Im not sure if what he is asking is just sex in the same room as them or partner swapping or a little girl on girl action. What do you think? Should i give it a go?
2007-02-04 16:46:36 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No! Not if you have 'any' doubts about it, I strongly suggest you dont. Swapping can ruin a realtionship in a heartbeat. I have been there and done that, I spent 6 years with my partner whom I have recently seperated, if you have any regrets it carries through the term of your relationship, you may feel resentment, deep regret and a **** load of anger. I found myself throwing up at the memories of what i had done - even now years later. If you were the one suggesting it because thats what you wanted ok but you didn't - thats should worry you. If you go through with it, be clear on what your both comfortable with, dont let them suggest more later on as this will confuse you. For example: About 4 years ago my partner and I agreed on Same Room Sex and Girl on Girl Only. This happened a few times but one night we spent with them we were at the W Hotel and the other couple went upstairs -his wife was throwing up in the bathroom (bad shell fish) and my partner went upstairs to see if they were ok, when he came down he said that I should go upstairs and have sex with her partner because his wife didnt want to ruin our night and hoped we would carry on, I wasnt there for that and my partner looked at me with anger and said "what are we here for, this is something I really want, just go upstairs!" So I went upstairs and slept with this man (while his wife throw up in the bathroom) my partner was taking pictures and then his wife came out and joined us, to say the least, i was really angry with my partner for putting me in that position, and over the years it something we had always fought about. Its about having respect always. Do what you feel comfortable with, no more, no less. I know that men like watching there partner having sex with other men it turns them on just as much as Girl on Girl, so I've found, which is pretty discusting because a man should want to keep you for himself, Ive been lucky enough to find that. I hope your partner doesnt make you feel guilty if you decide to say no - dont feel bad. Good Luck
2007-02-05 10:46:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In theory it is possible to have fun and operate an open relationship this way. It is the stuff of fantasies. However, I have met a few swingers and there is an emptiness to the way they see their marriage and their partner. They will often discuss how hot one situation is, or another person they have sex with, but almost never do they comment on wanting their own partner, romantically or sexually. They always claim to have "strong" relationships, but it seems more like they have given up expecting anything from their relationships or partners. It just endures as a mechanism for continuing their open lifestyle. I suspect your partner doesn't take you very seriously, and wants to use the time he has with you to explore some wild fantasies. Good luck.
2007-02-04 17:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by Paul 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, let's take this situation apart. So let's say you do this...then later you are alone together and he is reminded of how hot it was. You two have sex. Now, a month later...
1.) Does the couple or chick that you get involved with call continuously?
2.) Are you or him insecure because there is fear that the other had better sex with the new person? Or do you suddenly feel insecure because he is bored with you?
3.) Does you want to keep having sex with others because you already have broken that boundary? Or does he want you to keep doing this because you already have?
4.) Are you worried he'll have sex with other women and not tell you?
To each their own with sexual boundaries and levels of commitment. However, think of what happens AFTERWARDS before allowing something to happen. Huge insecurities, fears, and trust issues come up.
2007-02-04 16:55:27 · answer #3 · answered by Keep It Sane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your use of the word 'partner' instead of 'husband' makes it sound to me like the two of you are not married. And when there is no marriage, then there are no marriage vows to break. And perhaps that's why your 'partner' thinks that it would be ok for both of you to get sexually involved with other people.
If you can sleep with your 'partner' without being married to him, then why can't you sleep with another guy who also is not your husband, especially if your 'partner' doesn't mind?
If your partner wants to get sexually involved with another couple, then you can be sure that he will want to have sex with the other guy's woman. There is no way a guy would be satisfied with just watching when he is aroused and there is an opportunity to have sex. And if he has sex with the other guy's woman, then you can be sure that the other guy will want to have sex with you.
If there are no marriage vows to break and you are having sex out of wedlock anyway, then I don't see what's so different about having sex with another guy who also is not your husband. Go for it, if this kind of thing appeals to you.
But if such sex doesn't appeal to you on it's own, then you have to ask yourself 'what's in it for you?'. It's ok to go out of your way to please other people, as long as the other people do something in return to please you. Such an exchange is fair and square.
But if you are the only one who is pleasing people without getting much in return, then I'd say that these people are taking advantage of you.
2007-02-04 17:39:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If the two of you love eachother, want to stay together, and respect eachother, it would be wise not to venture into this unchartered territory. You would be taking a gamble on completely destroying your relationship for a potentially fleeting moment of enjoyment (if you actually do enjoy it). If you love your partner and want to continue to be with him, then it is both of your obligation to stay fiercely protective of your relationship by not allowing these kind of temptations into your marriage. It may sound like fun, or exciting, but you both have to act responsibly and understand that there are so many consequences and so much potential to hurt eachother by doing this. You may both sadly live to regret it.
2007-02-04 18:05:31 · answer #5 · answered by gg55 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Partner swap. Your husband with the girl you with the other guy.
Swingers is what it is called. I think it is sick and wrong. I mean, would you want to see your husband sleeping with another woman?
2007-02-04 16:51:13 · answer #6 · answered by Metal 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There is no bigger turn on for a woman than to have sex with another man while her husband is watching. But just dont get jealous if hes watching while hes Fuking the other lady.
2007-02-04 22:15:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him--if he really loved you would never ask that--unless you are bi-curious then go for it and dump your boyfriend after. No man who loved his gfriend would want to have her with anyone but him--sorry---he is an a*
2007-02-04 16:53:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is called swinging.... keepin mind you'll probly get with the other guy or girl... and same with him... can you handle seeing him with someone else in front of you? It's not cheating... he's doing it with someone in front of you.
2007-02-04 17:12:56 · answer #9 · answered by lilycalypso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't care about you marriage vows and don't mind divorce then go for it if you want a true marriage don't do it if your husband will divorce you if you dont do it then get the divorce you wouldn't want to hate yourself for jumping in bed with someone else
2007-02-04 16:51:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋