I cook, I clean...We dont have any kids and I just really want a pet, but he refuses. I dont want to get one behind his back and cause a huge fight but I am starting to get resentful about this issue. He is worried about the cat getting on his things(i.e. He has an expensive tv and we have nice furniture) but then he wont let me have a small dog either. So how do I go about this in a sane way?
2007-02-04 16:39:15 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't see this as controlling, to those who have raised that issue. He has nice things and is concerned about those things.
Ok, so what can you do to convince him that those things will be fine?
Can you set up a trial period? Most animal shelters will let you take a cat or dog on a trial basis, and if it doesn't work out, they will take it back. So can you pitch something like that?
What about other pets, such as a small rodent that is caged?
Fish was suggested.
It's not a control issue, it's the issue of finding a solution that BOTH of you can enthusiastically embrace.
Control is when he forbids you to do something that only impacts you.
Cooperation is where you find solutions to issues that potentially impact both of you.
Owning a pet is an issue that impacts both of you.
Those who call this a control issue don't really understand control or what marriage is all about. Or at least it doesn't appear so based on them citing control as the issue.
2007-02-04 16:50:41 · answer #1 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A few months back my girlfriend was hounding me about letting her have an animal as well. After countless hours of argument she agreed we didnt need a pet after all. A few weeks ago i was alone in the apartment about to take a shower when i heard noises coming from the closet. I went to look in there and it was just the usual shoes, stuffed animals, clothes, etc. As days went on it started to sound like talking coming from the closet. Finally we were interrupted by a loud noise during our favorite movie, "The Notebook". I looked at her and said "what is that?" She insisted it was nothing at all, but i had to find out. I searched the house and found nothing. Later that night i was getting a drink from the kitchen when a dark shadow ran across the floor. I woke my girlfriend up and asked her about it. Finally she confessed to me that she had gotten a pet. She started speaking jibberish and from behind the curtain came a small creature. It was just a furby.
2007-02-04 17:07:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there.
Reason with him. I for one have never seen a cat on a tv- and my family had many cats growing up. If he doesn't want cat hair all over- you will have to get a cat with short, course hair, but the nails into the furniture might not be a good idea.
Getting a dog... it will have to be trained!!! so look for dogs that can be trained... most small dogs (that I've known) are hard to train. They would still jump up onto the couch and could urinate on it... but I think the tv will be safe- if its not one that stands from the floor.
Good Luck!
2007-02-04 16:50:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about your needs and wants. he doesn't want his TV hurt but you don't want to not have a little lovey furry pet. You can declaw a cat or put little caps on its nails so it doesn't damage the furniture. That might make him feel better about his TV and the damage it might get. It won't get it with those caps/declawing.
Forgive me for anything I insinuate by asking this, as I do not mean to insinuate anything at all, but is this the only thing he's controlling about? My advice for how to convince him just changes a bit if it is or isnt. Good luck, my kitties are the little loves of my world.
2007-02-04 16:45:08 · answer #4 · answered by kissmeasterisk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same way we got every dog we had when I was a kid - you bring it home and let him fall in love with it. My mom always said no, until the dog was in the house and we were hugging and kissing it.
You have every right to have a pet. I recommend a dog. He's likely to warm to a dog rather than a cat.
2007-02-04 16:51:20 · answer #5 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have two cats that we adopted, and they have never gotten into anything. We have two tvs and they don't even go near them.
Move out and get your own apt. He is not considering your feelings and needs. He is controlling you. What's going to happen if you marry him and have children? They will get into things, too. And they will spill things on his nice furniture.
I would really do some thinking about this relationship. Good luck.
2007-02-04 22:25:05 · answer #6 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm I don't think this is a control issue. I think it is a pet issue. Maybe he doesn't like animals. Well it is just an animal. Do you live in his place or is it a place that you too got together? This is a relationship and this is what being in a relationship is about compromising with each other.
2007-02-04 17:30:15 · answer #7 · answered by sdo3lg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be straightforward, your boyfriend is eighteen and an human being, if he needs to flow in with you, there is not any longer some thing his mom can do about it. in case you both pick it, flow ahead and make the necessary plans. His mom will both come round and see that you're both chuffed, or she'll proceed to hate the idea yet can't change the project because he's legally an human being and would not ought to take heed to her any extra.
2016-11-25 02:52:29 · answer #8 · answered by dunworth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some counselling to explore why your boyfriend has control issues. This power struggle over the pet is only the tip of the iceberg.
2007-02-04 16:43:20 · answer #9 · answered by Liz 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
some people just dont like pets I think you have to decide if you want to live with one of them
2007-02-04 16:48:51 · answer #10 · answered by Nora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋