What would you do if you had a step son that you caught on a hidden video camera hurtin your 2 year old?

Question

i have a 3 year old who says his 15 year old half brother has hit him. I am planning on installing a hidden video camera to see exactl what is going on. I expect to find the 15 year old hitting him or pushing him. I believe my 3 year old but when I ask the 15 year old OF COURSE he says he did nothing. If I find something horrible should I call the police. First I asked my husband (his son) a hypothetical question on the topic and he said that he would deal with it Aka YEAH I WILL DO NOTHING but tell him not to do it again. I would call the police. is that rightor too harsh? I have a duty to my kids but to my husband too?

Answer 1

If you catch him on camera, I'd show it to your husband first, talk it over, then possibly show it to the 15 yr old so he knows you have it on tape. Let him know if he does it once more, you will call the cops. Just make sure he doesnt know where the cameras are. He needs to know you are serious, yet I wouldn't go as far the first time by calling the cops- I'd get it on tape first, give him a HUGE warning that it isn't tolerated, and the cops will be called next time. Then see what happens from there. I'm not really sure how serious this issue is.. if he's hitting the 3 yr old severely hard to give him bruises? Any kind of hitting is bad, so hopefully you guys can get him to stop, it's not good to have that anger building inside... maybe ask him to go on walks when he gets angry??? This helps my husband (our son was colicky at birth, and we lost lot's of sleep trying to do everything we could to get our son to stop crying, so having my husband go for a walk would help him lose the temper and calm down and realize he shouldn't be mad in the first place.)
I personally wouldn't leave your 3 yr old alone with the 15 yr old. Just remember there is something behind this anger he has (if he does have it), could be his parents being seperated, anything really... so see if you can talk to him, let him know you are there for him. Good luck with this.

Answer 2

If my little three-year-old said some big kid hit him I would make sure he was never alone with that big kid again.

Some 15-year-old boys can be real idiots, and chances are you wouldn't see anything all that horrible if you taped. Chances are, though, you'd see him pulling some kind of crap on your little boy.

I think you should tell your husband you're not going to let your little boy be alone with his son because you don't want the son doing things to him; and tell the son he is not to be alone with your little boy and why.

The stepson will grow up and smarten up in a few years (probably even a year or so), and your little boy will not be three forever either. In the meantime, everyone can be out together, eat dinner together, etc.; just don't let the little one be upstairs if only the big one is or downstairs if only the big one is there etc.

Its easier to do than it may seem, and it takes away the opportunity for the stupid 15-year-old (who will smarten up soon) from doing something he most likely wouldn't do three years from now.

I've tried to imagine the hypothetical situation you've posed and what I'd do. If I saw something horrible I think I'd take my little boy and leave the house, and tell my husband I would be back once he had made arrangements for his son to live elsewhere.

Answer 3

first, give your son the benefit of the doubt, but install the camera just in case, second don't call the police (unless, of course, the 15 year old is doing something really horrible, i.e. sexual abuse...God Forbid, if this is the case, the kid needs professional help before it is too late), be a firm, commanding parent and handle it. Confront the kid and find out why he does it.
Also, 3 years olds are subject to stretching things out. you must remember that a small infraction to a 3 year old seems much more harsh than what it is.

Answer 4

First off I wouldnt automatically assume that your 3 year old is right. Think to yourself. How often are 3 year olds truthful. Sometimes they make up stuff just to get attention. Also ask yourself why your step son would be hitting your 3 year old son. If however it is true that your step son was hitting him then you need to tell your husband and possibly call the cops. I still have no idea why a perfectly sane 15 year old would just want to beat the crap out of a 3 year old for no reason. Just doesnt connect in my mind.

Answer 5

First off, if you suspect this is going on , DO NOT LEAVE YOUR 3 YEAR OLD ALONE WITH HIM EVER!!!! If your husband refuses to do anything about it, then inform your stepson that if you find out that he is abusing your 3 year old, that you will call the police and you will press charges. Your husband does not have to agree with this. It would be out of his hands at this point. You are right, you have a duty to protect your children. They come first. Your husband is an adult, he can protect himself. Oh... and show the video to your husband. Let him see what a little sh%# his son turned out to be. Maybe that'll change is passive attitude towards the situation.

Answer 6

Get proof. I agree with most of the answers you have received. Your stepson should not be hitting your 3 year old. My question though is how much attention do you give to the 15 year old or do you treat him more harshly because he's not YOUR biological son. It could be that if you actually treated him as your son he may not be so resentful to your 3yr old. Both you & your husband should sit down & talk with him don't accuse him straight away especially you as you obviously seem to dislike him. You & your husband need to tell him that as much as you love him you will not tolerate any physical abuse & should the both of you find out that he has been lying & being abusive then further action will be taken including involving the police. Should you find out the 3 yr old is lying then both of you should deal with that too & not let him get away with it. If need be the 15 yr old may need a bit of counselling as he may be resentful that you are even with his father or resentful of you because of the way YOU treat him. The way youv'e written your letter sounds like you would rather he wasn't there. I also don't believe a 15 yr old boy should be left to baby sit. They have too many other things happening with them. Hormonally, physically, socially, etc.

Answer 7

I would not put up with anyone touching or hitting my child. I dont care how old you are who you are. And being as though there is a huge age difference. If your step son hit your son he could possibly do some damage. I dont know about calling the police UNLESS it is a regular meant to be abusive thing. If in the case that you find out that your son hit him first and he is just retaliating I would have a talk with the step son and tell him he is older and the discipline is not up to him it is up to you as a parent. If he is hitting him because he is just a mean ol bully. I would first have a talk with your husband. Your step child is both of your child. You get to make some decisions regarding discipline too. You guys need to talk about the fact that he is indeed hitting him for no reason. Then you need to have a family meeting. Explain he is bigger and he could really hurt his brother. I would reccomend taking away tv or groundation from phone ect. Only because it would sort of be a hypocrytical response to spank him for hitting. I hope that everything works out!

Answer 8

I think you should use the camera so that you can have EVIDENCE and peace of mind and you can confront the 15 year old when/if you need to. The 15 year old is WELL over the age of knowing that it's not appropriate to hit. And especially not to hit a small child. I know that 3 year olds can be quite annoying, but 15 is TOO big to hit. Even if your husband refuses to protect the 3 year old, it is your responsibility as his mom to protect him as you see fit.

Answer 9

In my (opinion) i would install the camera and just (SEE) how he is hurting my 3 yr old...and then i would show it to my husband and if he dont do anything I would go the police and then file for divorce..it dont matter if the kid is 15 or 18 or 21..no 3 yr old deserves to get hurt by another KID...just hook up the camera see whats goin on then inform ur (careless) husband and if he dont do squat call the Cops...then file for divorce cause if u call the cops on ur Husbands child there will be HELL in that house...so he wont be able to forgive u..but if he is like my husband ...it will be a wake up call ..me not puttin up with his sons ****...so u need to just go on and do what i said up there...take care of ur 3 yr old...he needs ur help...
GOod luck god bless u and ur 3 yr old...

Answer 10

Your job as a parent first and foremost is the safety of your child. If you ignore this what does that tell your child. I would go to police, tell husband this is not tolerated in your home, seek counsel for the stepson, and in the meantime stepson should be living some place else. Either with the mom or other family member. Your child not stepson, or even husband come before this child's safety.