hubby works but does not want to pay any bills, he keeps his money for himself and is me that pays all the bills and buy everythingl
2007-02-04 15:45:29 · 18 answers · asked by dancingwiththestars 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds to me like an intolerable situation...
Start saving money and making plans for
your divorce..
2007-02-04 15:49:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
What is funny is how everyone just tells you to just leave him without the both of you trying to fix the problem. It is so easy for these people to get the easy way out. But hopefully, you are not that case.
You need to discuss this issue with your husband and find out why he is not helping with the finances. He made the 'vows' to you on the day you both got married, you need to hold him accountable to those vows that took place. You also need to remind him that you can't do this alone with just you paying the bills.
If he still doesn't budge or starts being a 'real provider' and doesn't want to support you by giving you money to pay bills, groceries, etc.....then you definitely have some problems ahead of you. This is called being selfish on his part. You need to first find out why he is withholding money from you and why he is acting this way and where is his money going to. Do all this by not raising your voice, be calm, and be polite. I am sure you will get your answer.
It could also be that he doesn't trust you with the money. Do you spend it on things you don't need? Stuff like that could come to his mind. He just needs to trust you with paying the bills etc. Hope this helps you. If not, you can send me email as well for other questions.
2007-02-04 16:13:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to be blunt BUT!!!!! are you blind? I was in a situation like that about 13 years ago, girl let me tell you, he is doing nothing but using you and I'm sorry I know you don't want to hear that but I didn't want to beleive it either. Have you ever said anything to him about the bills and so on? When I use to ask" oh man, would he ever get upset trying to say whatever I wanted to hear to make me beleive oh hell no! And when his kids came along he still didn't change are you kiddin me. I kicked that mofo to the curb and if I'm paying the bills coolio for me cause he's not coming up in my place going to work and not putting a pretty penny towards the cost, I don't think so, I kicked his *** to the curb and the kids and I are doing awesome and we have money in the bank to boot!
Yes that's what I'm talking about. Come on now your better than that don't let him keep doing this to you it's not fair. You let him know period either he's going to pull his weight around there or tell him that you love him (if thats the case) but I can't afford to keep you so I think you should take your paychecks my love and buy a newspaper my love and go pay your own dam bills.
Sorry but it's called 50/50 Live it, like it and laugh it up!
And just see what he says about that. Good luck with that but please open your eyes and see what this man is doing.
2007-02-04 16:04:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is when you need to get a full time job and pay bills and take care of things. Why is he not helping out? What is he buying with his money? Where is his money going if i may ask?
2007-02-04 15:49:20 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend that her hubby is the same way, one month she decided not to pay anything and leave it to him, nothing happened, the next month she was behind and had to play catch up. If it were me I'd tell him to pay or leave, if he won't cut lose with any kind of help he's not much of a MAN and he can't be that great. He'd be gone. You can do much better on your own. One less mouth to feed.
2007-02-04 15:51:47 · answer #5 · answered by Just Me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to speak to him. You also can start eating out. When he comes home for meals, tell him that he also needs to chip in for the house expenses.
Be very careful, an aunt of mine went through the same thing. Now, she hasn't a cent to her name and he is living luxuriously with a woman half his age.
In a marriage, everything has to be shared, please be wise in this matter. Don't let him get used to it.
Open a joint account where you both would deposit a certain amount of money for the month's expenses. Then you can keep your other private money separately. Make this suggestion to him today. Good luck. Be vise girl, its every girl for herself.
2007-02-04 16:48:29 · answer #6 · answered by Nats 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know I wouldn't be paying all of the bills. I'd be grabbing my money and half of whatever was in a joint account (if any) and checking in with a lawyer.
2007-02-04 16:12:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him an ultimatum: contribute to the family or get out of it...
If he makes you work and pay all the bills, divorce him...
BTW, I'm a married male...
2007-02-04 16:26:49 · answer #8 · answered by Daniel H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not married to a man, you're married to a 'moron'!! and to some degree you have allowed him to treat you like this..
I cannot imagine my husband behaving like this!
WHY? Because he loves me!!
If your MORON really loved you he would 'never' treat you like this.
Your moron is a 'selfish, disrespectful idiot
and 'you' have allowed him to continue like this.
How in the 'H*** can you actually live with someone like him!!
And 'pleaaasseeeeee' don't don't any of us
that you actually 'love' this guy.
If you do, then you need to learn what love is!!
Do yourself a favor and get your own place.
Let him learn how to be a 'real' man!!
2007-02-04 16:09:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Should have set up a joint bank account for common bills at least.
2007-02-04 16:03:11 · answer #10 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋