I'm from iowa... I am fearful of my husband I am leaving, he has anger and drinking issues. The only time he has physically harmed me was in November 06, he was drunk and we were in bed and he wouldn't leave me alone and was getting really mean, i rolled over and turned my back to him and then he started saying really mean things to me, so i reached back and smacked him on the shoulder with the back of my hand. Then he pushed and kicked me off of the bed onto the floor, I was so scared I thought he was going to beat the crap out of me. He has been emotionally abusive for a long time and drinks a lot. I'm leaving him this weekend. Do you think I might be able to get one to protect my 1 year old daughter and I?
2007-02-04 15:41:50 · 7 answers · asked by .*AnNa*. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes you can get an order of protection. they wont give you a restraining order b/c your married, but its the same thing different name. Also you can no matter what get a temporary order of protection for a month or twos time even if you Can not prove hes physically hurt you, some times you can have that for longer depends on where you live. I went through this all myself. when i left my abusive husband he threatened to come hurt me and even kill me if he had to to take our kids. I called the court told them what he said they also wanted to know if there was history of abuse. So I went to the court and put down in writing some of the things he'd done IE: the nasty names and threats the shoving, choking etc and the new threat and they gave me a temp order for 6months for me and my 2 kids. I'd leave first than go straight to get the order. And something i learned the hard way if he EVER abuses you call the police file against him so there's a record of it. The judge will listen to that long b/f they will believe your word against his that he hurt you. Good luck to you and i hope you and your daughter stay well and safe.
2007-02-04 16:16:42 · answer #1 · answered by survivedlasvegas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to prove (like having the police come and show them evidence of abuse, filing a claim against him) in order to get a restraining order. I could be wrong. However, if you have no evidence, then you're both up for custody in the courts and the courts won't know anything about abuse, even if you tell them. So I'd be very careful. He might even call the cops to say you kidnapped the child and you won't let him see her. I'm only saying this to let you be aware of what anger can bring on. My father did it to my mother. Be careful! I wish the best to you and your daughter. Be sure he can't find or track down where you are. He could come and cause problems.
2007-02-04 23:49:37 · answer #2 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think you need to get one to leave him--you hit him first and if that was the only time he touched you in a harmful way--you started it--you knew he had an issue with alcohol. Just leave and don't start the restraining orders--it will only cause anger on both sides--just get out--what you described could be grounds for domestic violence but come on you started it and he was drunk--no excuse but you knew he was. You can use the emotional abuse as a means to get a div and get full custody--but if you charge your hubby with "domestic violence" you are giving him a criminal record. You know you don't need protection--stop playing games.--you can get supervised visitation for him and your daughter if you believe he will be too drunk to see her. But he is her dad and she needs him--don't be vindictive and separate them. I went through the same thing with my ex and all worked out--now my second was actually violent and did have him charged--but he is great with our son--our relationship did not involve our child as he is a great dad--we were not good together--separate yourself from your child. Good Luck.
2007-02-04 23:59:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since YOU were first to get physical, "i reached back and smacked him on the shoulder with the back of my hand" All he would have to say is that he retaliated in self defense, and he has every RIGHT to protect himself. You don't have a leg to stand on as far as a restraining order goes.
2007-02-05 00:22:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes leave him and get a restraining order against him.... Since he has abused you this should be easy to do... Also do not let him know where you are at or where you are going.... File for divorce ASAP! Yes you should be able to get this order... Go to your local police station and make one! I wish you the best and hope that you and your daughter stay safe from him and his abuse!
http://www.drphil.com
2007-02-04 23:46:47 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't think you can get a protective order on your husband. Unless you are legally separately/divorced and he harms you once, which you call the police on him and he pleads guilty or no contest. Otherwise, he has parental right to his child.
You need to understand and folow the legal process. You are not talking about a friend or neighbor. You are legally married living in a common household, how can you have a restraining order (typically 500 feet) on that person?
2007-02-05 00:42:14 · answer #6 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
not for long,you have to show a pattern of abuse.
2007-02-04 23:45:25 · answer #7 · answered by m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋