How can i be beautiful to my husband? I know that seems ridiculous but he's been having an online affair and i need to know what i can do to make myself more appealling to him. I'm not some dumb teenager, I have a college degree, I am just really curious. I feel like he's doing this because I've gained about 20 lbs. and i'm really upset and angry what can i do?
2007-02-04 15:32:43 · 13 answers · asked by ginnyp82 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
go to the gym and work out
come home wearing a leather skintight outfit and throw him on the floor and do him like an animal, i bet he will forget whats her name on the computer and stuff
2007-02-04 16:13:27 · answer #1 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Online affairs start innocently, just click yourself into a chat room, begin talking, and the freedom of anonymity takes over. It can be very addicting, I've been there and quit. His online affair is not really about you, its about your hubby and his seeking an outlet on the side as a new or unique way of expressing himself in new or unusual ways. You both should know that this is very unhealthy, that he should give it up and work on ways to communicate better with you. If he has made any move to contact these women in real life, you have a much larger problem. If not, let him know you found out, are upset, but also that YOU want to be the person he is sharing his thoughts with. Good luck.
2007-02-05 00:52:44 · answer #2 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I read the other responses before replying. It's easy to say "divorce him" but from your question, I'm guessing you still love him and want to make your marriage work.
What your husband is lacking in your relationship is excitement, and the lure of the unknown. He obviously enjoys playing online, so YOU need to be his online babe. Send him sexy texts about what you're going to do to him when he gets home...or about what you are doing to yourself at that very moment. Call him at work to let him know you didn't wear any underwear to work that day , and how hot it makes you to think of him. Guys need this sort of stimulation to stay interested after years go by. You may find that he responds with some messages of his own. And change it up a little here and there...expand your sexual and relationship horizons a bit.
No, I don't condone his straying...but I do understand it. If you want to keep him...work him.
2007-02-05 00:09:02 · answer #3 · answered by Kevman9999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not the problem here, he is...still maybe he lost interest because you both take each other for granted, make sure he realises what a beautifull and dedicated woman he as at home and he will probably give up on is "new" interest, a few suggestions would be: Aventure (do something you never did before), Romance (candlelight dinner is fine) and some Memories ( check out some old photos to remind him how happy you both were,are and can still be)...
Good luck!!
2007-02-05 00:13:31 · answer #4 · answered by ricardo m 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One thing I have notice is that most woman, who prior to their marriage, were physically attractive not perfect though. And as the years went by after having children gained extra weights(you're lucky if not tons of pounds). I guessed you know the answer to your problem. Better start burning your calories before cellulite piles up. Start exercising regularly on a daily basis. Avoid sweetened and processed foods and carbonated drinks. Try healthy eating including more veggies, fruits, whole grain products in your meals. Last but not least, nothing beats sweet aroma of a fresh bath in the morning which works better than perfume. good luck.
2007-02-04 23:53:21 · answer #5 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he has a beautiful woman right in front of him and is chosing an online person for satisfaction then he obviously has some issues and you should probably just cancel your subscription!there is someone out there that will love you no matter how much weight you gain if he cant see this than perhaps its time to give him his choice on cyber ***** or real life wife!
2007-02-04 23:42:16 · answer #6 · answered by chris w 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would personally cut off the Internet period one day he comes home just no Internet. Then confront him. Or I would also have the computer wiped clean by a computer pro. Don't let him know just let him wonder what happened. First I would hit history go into Internet options at the top delete /clean all cookies history and shush myself.
I would also confront the women on line when he not there that this is a married man and she should stop contacting him other wise you could and would make things difficult for her. I would personally see how many sites this woman went on and also your husband look at all of them, investigate just by typing in there names. Even if I didn't know I would tell her I did know all her sites and freak her out. Just tell her I know even though I didn't .Don't harass just give warning that if she continues to contact him you will consider that harassment. Check his IM and delete her name and block it! I would not tell him just let him find it gone.
I certainly would be nervous if I was another women and I was worried this women might show up at work or my home or tell my husband or kids my friends Maybe she doesn't know your husbands married.
Do you think he went one step further and met with this woman?
This is not your fault honey? It’s your husband!
Do try to be neat and tidy in appearance, start walking maybe makes meals for him.
Try to eat a little lighter if you can. Paint your nails wear a little lipstick make-up
When you confront him be firm and say well just how far have you taken this?
Then tell him if he says oh it’s all just been on line. Tell him you want him to cut it off with her. That he made a commitment to you and your willing to forgive him only if he totally cuts it off not even emailing her or explaining to her why. That you will not be treated like a doormat! That this better never happen again!
My Girlfriend Sandra husband of 20 years did this to her with a lady he met on a game site and he had been meeting with her at tournaments. I told Sandra when I visited you know when I asked Loren to IM my husband he always does something weird he shuts the computer down.
When I told my friend and she didn’t want to listen. 6 mounts later her left her moved to Canada to live with the other lady .If she had said something earlier she could have probably saved her marriage.
I know when my husband was corresponding with a lady who was in California who kept IM him after he answered a question for her on medical issues even went so far she sent him her picture of her self. Then started getting in to a chatty mode asking personal questions .My husband could not see it coming and what she was doing .I spelt it out for him quick. That the lady had gone to far he should be nice and tell her lets keep the questions on the board. Not private IM that he was a married man with kids. That she was asking things to personal in nature. She backed off quick.
I say again dear its not your fault just don’t sit and take it !
I live in SLC If you wish to IM me.
Hugs Diane
2007-02-05 00:34:31 · answer #7 · answered by dianehaggart 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of al leave your husband since he is cheating on you... He should not be doing this to you or your marriage. You gaining 20 pounds is not reason or excuse for him to be doing this to you at all! He is a jerk and you need to get out now and file for divorce.... This is adultery... Only lose weight for you if you want to!
2007-02-04 23:38:14 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him about. 20lbs or not, he took you for richer or for poor, in sickness and in health and all of that. don't settle for sharing your man. But, this I must say, if you want to look good, you have to do it for yourself and not for someone else. Does he look the same as when you two got married or has he changed? Remember that a relationship based on appearance is very dangerous.
It is your duty to look good for him and it is his duty to love you no matter what. But if you have to change who you are in order to have his attention, its dangerous. Just ask him what your relationship is based on. Good luck girl.
2007-02-05 00:34:27 · answer #9 · answered by Nats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him about the affair, first off, you may need a divorce. If he doesn't find you beautiful enough for him he's not the guy you want.
2007-02-04 23:36:11 · answer #10 · answered by Spearfish 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋