if a girl says no to sex and a guy pressures her till into it, is this a rape?

Question

this happened to my wife at 13 and the guy was almost 17. she is confused about whether this was a rape...because she did not want it but he did it anyway. she blames herself.

Answer 1

If she was 13, it was rape. No one at 13 is old enough to say yes or no to sex. Statutorily, in almost every state in the union, he is a criminal, because the age of consent is either 16 or 18. And depending on her CURRENT age, she could still press charges. (Most states have a statute of limitations that usually ends when the victim turns a specific age, usually around 30.)

Have her get to see a trauma survival counselor, who can help her make decisions about the best actions to take on her own behalf.

^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^

Answer 2

If she says no at first, then gives in and lets him, then no it isn't rape. Lets face it, we have all done something we wish we wouldn't have, but we went through it of our own free will. If she says no at first and keeps saying no and he does it anyway, then yes it is rape. The people that say it is illegal for this to have happened between a 13 and 16 year old could be mistaken. Until a short time ago, the age of consent in a couple of the states in the USA was 12! Depending on how long ago and where this was, it could have been perfectly legal. Another thing to consider, is that he was also a minor if the age of consent was 18, and I don't think the statutory rape applies the same way as it does with an adult and minor. The real question is, how did she get to be alone with a 16 year old boy at the age of 13? Sounds like she had some loving protective parents, or she snuck out and got herself into trouble.

Answer 3

This is a yes and no kind of question and the reason for that depends on various circumstances. One would be state law regulating the age of consent and what constitutes statutory rape when two minors are involved. (in most states, both would be considered minors) Two, you stated that she was pressured into having sex... but there are various ways that could actually be construed as not forceful. What kind of pressure did he use? Was he violent? Did he just sweet talk her into giving in. Being a smooth operator and a violent jerk are two different things and determing if rape occured, it would have to be more defined. Pressure to do something you don't want to do happens all the time... and note that that in itself is not a crime. It depends on the method used when "applying" that pressure.
What makes me lean towards this actually being a rape is the fact that you say she blames herself. That alone makes me suspect something other than "sex" happened, but without more imput i cannot offer a straight yes or no answer.
And yes, many people are correct in saying once a girl says "No" and sex happens it is rape... however... all I said about pressure applies to this as well. No may mean no... most of the time but I have friends who have said no and admited later that they really meant yes. That is not to say this is what went down with your wife... I'm just attempting to prove a point that everything is not as black and white.

Answer 4

Yes, that is rape not only because she didn't want it but also because she was too young to consent. There is no reason for her to blame herself, though a lot of women do. It would be helpful for her to go see a counselor so that she can work this out. Good luck.

Answer 5

Yes, it was a rape whether or not she agreed, because she was only 13 years old, which is considered 'by law' not to be 'of the age of consent' ... and she should NOT 'blame herself' ... and if it is still 'bothering her' now, you should talk her into seeing a counselor to 'deal with this' ... and if you can you should also 'go with her' to EVERY session, even if you must 'sit outside' during it, just to show her that YOU CARE ... because it's your caring for her that she needs more than anything now.

Answer 6

If the girl says NO then it's rape. Plus, the guy was 17 and since she was under 17 at the time it would have been automatic statutory rape. It's not your wife's fault. She could still prosecute if she wanted to.

Answer 7

HA. It's that "do as I say, not as I do" mentality. My sister dated a guy like this! Whether he's a christian or not, I highly doubt he's as commited to the purity ring as you. Seriously, just say "no." Short, sweet, straight the point. But if you're really that close to him, then maybe you can explain it to him, put it all on the line. Take it or leave it. But if you really want my two cents, I'd be giving you the same answer no matter what religeon you believed in! I'm fifteen (16 soon) and whenever someone my age says stuff like that, it's just NO. Just. No. You should be proud of yourself not wanting to go in so young...It frusterates me when I see people do that. >.<;

Answer 8

Yes.
Rape = someone says 'No', but the other person keeps going.

This is rape, without a doubt. It could even be called child-molestation because she was not above the age of consent and the guy was almost 4 years older than her.

most DEFINITELY not her fault.
Even if she later agreed to it, she wasn't above the age of consent so at least it is statutory rape.

Answer 9

I don't know the details, but it's unlikely that it would legally be called rape. At any rate it was morally wrong and very traumatic. If he used physical force of threatened her, then yes, it was rape. I suggest that your wife speak to a counselor specializing in sexual assault. It is probably too late to prosecute, but she can speak to the counselor about that as well. Please be very patient and gentle with her, as this trauma can hurt for a lifetime. God Bless

EDIT: If she said no, it is rape, but if she changed her mind and said yes, then it's not.

Answer 10

Consent is freely given. If he coerced/forced her to go along with it, it's still rape because it was not consensual. He's the monster there. She was the victim. Unfortunately victims of rape often blame themselves.