My 15 year old daughter is an EMO.....?

Question

my daughter is an emo, but she is not into self harm....she dresses to the max... tight black jeans, studded belt, fingerless gloves even in summer and a over the face black hairdo...she looks just like a boy.. and others have told her this, she is very withdrawn at home, spends all her time in her room, does not go out and spend time with friends.....how do i explain to her that the way she looks puts her in a minority expecially at school? she does not like the attention she gets looking this way....

Answer 1

Just let her do what she wants. Chances are she'll outgrow it. As long as she isn't hurting herself, she probably isn't hurting anyone else. If she is "EMO" there's probably some emotional pain going on there. You should regularly check in on her emotional health, just very lightly. Ask her how her day was, ask her how she's feeling, even if she brushes you off constantly. one day she might tell you something.

She's a teen, let her be the teen she wants, even if she looks like a boy. If you try to restrain her, the more likely she is to rebel and grow distant. It's more important for a family to be close than for a family to look normal.

Answer 2

Forgive me for not understanding.....but if she does not like the attention, then why is she dressing in a manner that draws attention. It does sound to me that she needs a change of some type...She probably has low self confidence for some reason, it may be the way she has been treated somewhere, and decided that dressing this way would hurt who has hurt her, but we as adults know this type of thinking is WRONG...that in the end they only hurt themselves. If I were in the same situation I would think back to when she changed and what was happening in her life at that time, as well as yours. I would also suggest drug screening, even if you have to do it through the DR. and doing blood test. If she is really ready for a change talk to her and find out the style she likes, find a professional hair stylist to help on that end....there are some really sweet girls out there and they love to give advise on what would look good with their new hair style and face shape...and offer great compliments. I hope this helps in some way.

Answer 3

Let her be herself. Just because she's into emo style doesn't mean she's GOING to cut herself or is AT RISK. It's a sense of style that appeals to her. More times than not they grow out of it. Instead of trying to changer her appearance, work on her character. Becuase she is dressing like this isn't reason why she's spending all her time in her room. She doesn't want to spend time with you and she's not happy. That's why kids spend all their time in their room. So I would look at why she would be unhappy, don't be afraid to be self reflective of yourself, too many parents avoid looking at themselves and skip right to assuming the kid is on drugs... SO... Also, see if she has trouble making friends and if there is any social anxiety. It's all about being honest and open and speaking to her as a person, not as a finger wagging parent all the time.

Answer 4

Perhaps she is experiencing depression? It sounds like that may be some of her issues. I know when I was in HS I felt very sad and unhappy, and no one seemed to care or be welling to help me. I also dressed out of the norm, but mostly this was due to being picked on. I felt if I gave someone a reason to pick on me that was better then just being made fun of for no reason that I knew. I think as a mom you can do her the most good by to support her. You may not like how she looks, but for what ever reason she likes how she looks and she is not going to change because you bug her to. ( a t least most teens I know won't). If you try to accept her as she wants to look now, you may have better luck in her telling you what is wrong( if she knows). You may also try seeing if she wants to see a health care professional, but don't make it seem as if you think she is crazy.
And above all, remember that she is your baby no matter how she may look. Love her just the same as you always did.

Answer 5

It sounds to me like she DOES like the attention- otherwise there'd be plenty of other, less obtrusive "looks" to adopt. Agreed on the journal/diary idea. I'd look into the drug possibilities too- has she seen specialist- it's VERY possible she is depressed and an anti depressant will help give her a new and less withdrawn perspective. Also, there is a high possiblility of her keeping a "secret"- such as a sexual assualt/mental and emotional abuse. Looking like a boy for young girls, is often a camoflauge mechanism, to hide the femininity and sexuality- not many boys are that into raping/sexually abusing another boy. In this case, I'd be worried if she were my daughter.. Look into it because withdrawing and having generally "dark" mental attitudes is a huge pointer in that direction. Because of her predilection for this particular style its likely that she has been the target of something quite vicious- as a parent it is your duty, and your right to ensure her safety and happiness. Good luck, and I would definatley get her to see a GP, and then perhaps a good specialist or therapist. She's working thru something, and it's up to you to help her out.

Answer 6

First of all, "emo" is a stereotype that is misunderstood as being deeply depressed or anti-social, but it actually started as a music genre..that explains why she has that style of dress most likely... but it seems like your daughter is confused, and doesnt want to take a huge 360 degree turn and automatically change her life around, if you say she doesnt like attention from it....confront her about and dont use the term "emo" as a bad word. and i can tell you shes most likely having that attitude of wanting to be alone, because of her peers' reaction to how she looks. Oh and if you punish her for this, it will get worst, no matter what terms.

Answer 7

coming from a 13 year old,
emo people are usually depressed but not always, some people just like the style,
but i think that style will leave soon
but i think she will yell at you if you try talking to her
thats kind of weird that she doesnt spend anytime with friends though!
well i dont really know what you should say to her but do what you can to help her make friends
take a sport or something
join a youth group
but i wouldnt yell at her and MAKE her change because then she might be in a nasty mood all the time.
then again, this is coming from a 13 year old =P

Answer 8

im not trying to judge you or anything, but this is your daughters style. you should just accept her. if shes a bit of a rebel at skool, then so be it! if she doesnt have many friends, mayb she likes it that way! i mean, im no emo, but theres nothing wrong with them. shes in highskool, shes going thru alot, i myself wanted alot of time alone wen i was 15. but just dont look down on your daughter. if anything, you should be the one bringing UP her self confidence. i had styles from back wannabe gangster to prep to skater but my mom always told me i was beautiful on the inside and out and thats exactly how a mom should treat their daughter.

Answer 9

Try talking to her about joining a few clubs or activities that she would enjoy doing. Maybe try to talk to her about problems that she is dealing with. Try to get her a journal (one of the best ways to relieve stress is by writing emotions down on paper).

Answer 10

Well she will et out of it whn she goes to different grades dont worry it passes.... u will c chnges and she will like diferent styles