She and I have been together for 3 years now, graduated from college, and now have our own places and jobs. The catch is that I graduated when I was 18 and will be twenty soon. She'll be 25. Lately, I've wanted nothing more than proposing to her and bringing this relationship to the next level. But she doesn't want to think about marriage now, says we're too young. Now she hates the very mention of it. We both live in Japan and plan to for the rest of our lives. Though I feel that even if we were in America, we would be in the same situation. She has family here but I'm away from family and friends. Sometimes I just want to talk about it with her but I know she'll only get frustrated that I brought it up.
2007-02-04 15:12:33 · 11 answers · asked by flyable penguin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
After 3 years, it's certainly not too early to propose. However, since she is resistant towards the idea of marriage, perhaps you should wait a bit. Maybe give it a couple of months until she seems to be more open towards the idea of marriage. I recommend that you don't mention marriage for a few months just so she doesn't get annoyed and feel that you're being pushy.
2007-02-04 15:19:22 · answer #1 · answered by chiapet159 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally I believe it is too early. I have seen many of my friends get engaged after being together for a short time and the relationship soon ending in tears and heart break. I was with my boyfriend for over two years and we used to talk about marriage and children etc. however we soon broke up even after all that time together. We seemed unbreakable. Of course I am not saying this will happen to you, in fact I hope you do stay together. I would wait a bit longer personally, anything could happen and you won't know everything about each other in eleven months. Give it time for the relationship to mature and blossom on it's own. Try the moving in thing first and see if that works. Then you can gradually progress to going onto marriage and children etc. If you both love each other then there is no harm in waiting.
2016-05-24 10:32:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's uncomfortable with the thought of getting married yet, then yes it's too soon to propose. She'll obviously say no. Sorry, but if she's not ready, she's not ready. Marriage is a life-long committment, not something to just "get out of the way." If both people are not 100% into the idea, then it has no chance of working.
2007-02-04 15:17:15 · answer #3 · answered by gg_6225 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take my advice:
DO NOT do it if she gets aggitated just from talking about it.
If you do, you'll soon realize that you probably made the worst decision of your life, which could possibly cause her to end it from being scared that you're ready to move so fast.
Don't make her feel as if you're pressuring her about it either.
If you're going to talk, take it easy and just tell her that you've been thinking lately and you feel as if you're ready to take it to the next level but you're scared to because the way she acts when you bring it up.
Really hope this helps to some extent!
2007-02-04 15:19:11 · answer #4 · answered by gatorbabe09 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why ask her now? She already told you she isn't ready and you are both too young anyhow. She will get so frustrated that she will prob get rid of you if you pressure her too much. Just live life and she seems educated and independent enough--she will let you know when she is ready.
2007-02-04 15:40:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly, at 25, she's just starting to live her life, and I don't blame her for not wanting to settle down at this point. You should take your cue from her and do the same. Enjoy your lives before you marry...whether or not it will be to each other is God's plan.
2007-02-04 15:17:20 · answer #6 · answered by Luvy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't propose. It is strange that after being together for as long as you two have been that even talking about marriage upsets her. She may be reconsidering the relationship. Be careful with your heart.
2007-02-04 15:26:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she love you? If she does, give her time to "ripe" up for the position. If she doesn't, move on, if you're ready for marriage and she isn't she might be the wrong one for you.
2007-02-04 15:17:26 · answer #8 · answered by roxylee11782 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No it is not too early at all... go for it if you are ready to propose to her! I wish you the best and hope she accepts. the worse she can say is no but i hope she loves you and will accept:)
2007-02-04 15:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no its not to early you guys are about to start a new life. and whats best is to get marry at the beginng of you guys new life to get it out the way. i say go for it
2007-02-04 15:16:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋